Kanye’s On The New Season Of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians.’ And There It Is.

April 9th, 2012 // 65 Comments
Cheated On Kris Humphries
Kim Kardashian
Kim Was Banging Kanye The Whole Time Read More »

“Our deal was you stab my mother in the heart with a stake, and I have sex with you in front of Matt Lauer. Now are you going to hold up your end of the bargain or not?”
“Damn, chill, woman. I’ll handle it. Now quit talkin’ at me when I’m tryin’ to look for scarves. Mmm, yeah, I like this one. Not too scratchy…”

So remember when Kanye West did a bunch of coke and went off on Twitter about how’s he’s basically starting The Dharma Initiative complete with scientists and a new paradigm for education designed by Spike Jonze? Here’s how quickly that’s already devolved into “Do whatever it takes to keep sticking my penis in Kim Kardashian‘s butt.” Via RadarOnline:

“Kanye is head over heels in love with Kim, and he has told her he would love to appear on the reality show if she wants him to. Kim is a bit leery of having her man appear on camera because of the whole fiasco with her soon-to-be-ex-husband, Kris Humphries, but watch for Kanye to make several appearances on the show towards the end of the season. Viewers won’t see him featured in the first part of the season, and it won’t be all about Kanye,” a show insider tells RadarOnline.com exclusively.

For those of you wondering how the hell the Kardashians managed to rope in Kanye who, yes, by definition is a crazy person, does alright for himself and really doesn’t need the publicity, allow me to harken back to my earlier theory that Kris Jenner is a goddamn vampire.

KANYE: Yo, Mrs. Jenner, I don’t know why we couldn’t just talk over the phone. I’m a busy ma-
KRIS: You will have sex with my daughter and appear on her reality show…
KANYE: I will have sex with your daughter and appear on her reality show.
KRIS: You will also have sex with me right now without putting a condom on…
KANYE: I will also have sex with you right now without putting a condom on.
KRIS: And we will name the resulting child Khloe 2…
KANYE: Yeah, I’m not doing that.
KRIS: C’mon…
KANYE: Nope.

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Carolyn

    God but he’s ugly. Has she ever dated a white man?

    • Didn’t she date Halle Berry’s ex? The one who was too white to raise their biracial child?

      You know what…I wish I didn’t know this shit. I spend way too much time here.

      • logan

        Yea, I have burned up a few brain cells myself. I tell myself that it is the “train wreck theory” You don’t want to look, but you just have too. I am soooo ashamed.

    • “We can rebuild him.”

      (Ten hours later)

      “Let’s chalk this one up to best intentions and never speak of it again.”

    • terry

      Ain’t no self respecting white man going to lay down with the fleas in her knurled up ass pussy hair.
      And I couldn’t even imagine jacking off to a sex scene with those two. Ew!
      I would rather have my balls bitten by African fire ants than see his reconstructed jaw going down on that silicone injected ass. Yuck!

  2. Kanye: “Hmm, what’s the stupidest, douchiest thing I could possibly do?”

  3. JC

    “Kim is a bit leery of having her man appear on camera because of the whole fiasco with her soon-to-be-ex-husband, Kris Humphries…”

    Kim should be leery of appearing on camera herself, since she’s a giant-assed piss mop who contributes nothing to society.

  4. Cock Dr

    Looks don’t apparently matter to this cow; it’s all about the $ and fame factor.
    Perhaps another sex tape will be offered to immortalize this pairing. We can only hope that the scenes where he makes her moo like a Black Angus in heat don’t get left on the cutting room floor.

  5. That was a lob

    Wonder if he’ll get all pissy when she asks him to sign a prenup.

  6. Seth Goldbloom

    Need to go from a 1 camera shoot to 3or 4. Don’t know if there’s enough mirrors available so these two can simultaneously gaze upon themselves and the camera .

  7. the duck of death

    well, besides the cash, he can enjoy her bushy, cavernous ass crack…and cavort with the colony of avatars that lives within

  8. Anon

    The anal sex must feel awesome if he signed up to appear on the show.

  9. Frank Burns

    Kudos to the Kardashians for finding a way to make themselves even more unlikable. Looking forward to guest appearances by Ashton Kutcher.

  10. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Together
    Dr. Nappy
    Commented on this photo:

    I think that’s the happiest I’ve ever seen her.

  11. Truthbetold

    Wow, KK can’t get enough of that ole’ Chocolate Wonderlicious!!!

  12. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Together
    cuddles
    Commented on this photo:

    “Suck in the butt for the cameras in 3… 2… 1….”

  13. EricLr

    And people wonder why there are atheists in this world.

  14. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Together
    Damn it all, Jim
    Commented on this photo:

    Pants are sagging, Kanye. Does that fly in Paris?

  15. On Looker

    We should get the names of the people that watch the show and have them systematically sterilized to protect the future of the human race

    • dooood

      what about all the people who click on a blog and give hits to all the pages with these parasitic whores? fish keeps buying more images and we keep eating it up. its a vicious cycle.
      like they used to say about howard stern. people who hated him tuned in more frequently and for longer than people who liked him.
      so its also like that who killed the kennedys idea. we all did.
      Rectus! Dominus! Tritus! Ominus!

  16. Odious_One

    Couldn’t they both drown is a bathtub filled with 12 inches of water with various substances in their bloodstream? They seem to be addicted to themselves and fame , without the required talent that I expect

  17. Trent Wesley -Tarelot

    You Americans have the most limited imagination when it comes to what defines a talent . These “celebrities” would be lucky to have a job as a barista in the UK !

  18. Travis Bickel

    Does Rihanna know that he’s getting lucky with KIm?
    That will be the end of the trim – train stopping at her house !

  19. modemscrotum

    Damn It People!!!……Kim will not rest until she is peed on by every black man in America…… Get To Work!!!!!!!

  20. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Together
    Spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    “look Kanye you little bitch, leave the man bags alone and we work as a team… That means you do everything momma tells us right?”

  21. christopher

    i think kim is trying to ruin her career even more then her fake ass wedding did. she clearly was sleeping with him while he was in a relationship she is nothing but low down trash skank. no one has respect for her. the fact she was in the same article as Elizabeth Taylor makes me wanna throw up she is garbage and the decline in her empire is starting to show all her sales are way down ratings are way down. its time to throw out the trash

  22. Nacho

    WERE IS A FIRE WENE YOU NEED IT now doit nowwwwwwwwww 2 with one stone NOWWWWWWWWWW

  23. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Together
    Vitale
    Commented on this photo:

    nobody is talkin about kanye, so when u need to sell records or get attention, u go with the white folk.

  24. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Together
    LonG DonG
    Commented on this photo:

    she got all looks, nothing inside,
    he got no looks, and nothing inside.
    forget ‘em

  25. Terrence Howard

    Hey Kanye do you like fish sticks?

  26. name

    why do you keep posting about them?? who runs thesuperficial? kim…is that you?

    Can I just say one more thing? ..ok.. I hope she does not get pregnant.

    • hmna

      Well, Celebuzz! does host both The Superficial and KK’s blog. You figure it out.

      • LOLumad

        if the two blogs were sister blogs, wouldnt there be less namecalling about how they are vapid morons? LOL. u obviously dont visit this site often if you think its a “conspiracy”

  27. KK-Hater

    Shit, first we have this CUNT Kim Kardashian on the tube, now we top that off by adding another useless cocksucker Kayne! What the fuck, are all you liberal assholes in Hollywood that stupid that you can’t actually “write” a decent Television show instead of following some fucking SLUT and her jackass friends around. No wonder the country is going to shit with these clowns on TV.

    Fuck you both Kayne & Kim Kardashian!!

  28. amanda devine

    I love Americans!!! You come up with the funniest expressions. Piss mop!!!! That one caused a mouthful of coffee to be sprayed over my keyboard!!! Keep up the good work!!!!

  29. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Together
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    She can feel him in her mouth already

  30. Kanye? I thought the show could not have a bigger fiasco after that wedding.

  31. juicyfruit

    They are perfect for each other.
    2 arrogant assholes.

  32. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Together
    Kathryn
    Commented on this photo:

    “Listen Kim, Ima let you finish your argument but Paris Hilton had the best sex tape ever recorded “

  33. He’s an asshole and his name starts with a K. He’s practically family.

  34. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Together
    Dick
    Commented on this photo:

    MIchael Jackson face. Even more obvious in the tiny thumbnail.

  35. JustMe

    She has the worst judgement of character in men that I’ve ever seen. This guy is a tool. A match made in hell as ffar as I’m concerned.

  36. Jessic

    I Love them. They are a true POWER COUPLE. Kim is such an inspiration to women everywhere and CougarsDatingsite was amazing!

  37. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have a baby it will literally be JUST an asshole, right? A puckered, Vuitton-swaddled asshole?

  38. babysister

    you know it makes you wonder why these men have no problem screwing the same women, is it because its the closest they can get with each other.They say who ever you lay down with youre laying down with their past lovers and your past lovers. So maybe thats what its all about trying to feel each other when they all sleep with the same sluts. Make you go um

  39. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Together
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe at the end of the season they’ll drag Taylor Swift into their layer and beat the shit out of her spirit, right after they cut off all her hair and glue it on to Rob Kardashian so he can be a hot slut, too.

  40. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Together
    Anna
    Commented on this photo:

    No is he REALLY wearing his pants below his ass? REALLY?!?! Knock that shit off.

  41. Kim Kardashian Kanye West Together
    Jazmin Himes
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim Kardashian & Kanye West Shopping In New York

  42. Did anybody not see this coming? Stevie Wonder saw that coming. There is no one Kim will not ride to increase her 15 minutes of fame. She’ll do anything to promote herself and her shitty show. Don’t blame her, blame the stupid asshole who keep “falling in love” with her. Cunts

    FUCK Kim Kardashian.

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