Kanye West is Just a Tree Trying to Feed Our Branch-Mouths

October 8th, 2010 // 55 Comments

That headline not make sense? Good. Neither will anything else.

Kanye West debuted his new movie Runaway in London last night (above) then sat down for a Q&A afterward with The Daily Mirror where he proceeded to give the greatest interview I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s like reading a direct conversation with Jesus if Jesus was an egomaniacal crazy person who thought he’s the next Michael Jackson:

On Lindsay Lohan ruining the fashion world for celebrities:
“I promised I wouldn’t tear up… but have you heard of a little thing called Lindsay Lohan’s Ungaro collection? That was like the 9/11 of fashion. It was game over for me after that as no one would take a celebrity trying to do fashion seriously.”

On trying to fill the void Michael left behind:
“With the passing of Michael Jackson, I feel a responsibility to bring things to our generation that can inspire and bring real culture to pop culture. I don’t sleep any more thinking how we are going to fill this gap, and create something to inspire on the level he did.”

On how he’s going to inspire the world:
“I don’t want to be put in the hip-hop box, I’m an artist. Hopefully I’ll hook up with George Lucas and do a film about yellow people with beaks.”

And the money shot:
“I’m like a tree, I feed the branches of the people.”

I’m pretty sure if I spent an entire month in a room full of supermodels feeding me LSD and lies that I’m the largest endowed man they’ve ever seen, I’d still only come out 1/10th as batshit as Kanye West. The man’s ego operates on a level that advanced psychologists in the future won’t even comprehend. “He’s a tree that makes movies about beaked people, so we should hail him as the Messiah. — Screw this, I’m making out with a robot.”

Photos: WENN


  1. It’s so hilarious people getting so angry at Kanye over a blog post. You think he cares about what any of you are saying? You think he’d ever stop making music because of how you feel about his ego? No, he gets to make music for a living, chill with models, put millions of dollars in his bank account, and have a fan base that spreads around the globe. You guys get to comment on a blog! Haaaaaaaaaaa

    • Dorian Gray

      (1) Make music for a living? how sad. Anything that becomes a job eventually wears thin – I’m glad I don’t and that others bear the burden for my pleasure, it means I’ll never get sick of listening to it.

      (2) All models have STDs, and are bitches from hell residing in their high maintenance self-entitled worlds. He can have ‘em.

      (3) All money does is amplify the character one has within. In Kane’s case, the consequences of his having so much of it are apparent, and exceedingly ugly.

      (4) A fan base of white hipsters around the world? Please do not let them near me, for the love of God.

      You don’t really know about things beyond their surface illusions, do you.

    • Dinkus

      typical lack of education and teaching of humility and career paths not being taught in urban schools. Too much teaching of PRIDE with NOTHING to back it up EXCEPT TALK. TALK dont get you PAID. WORK and SKILLS get your PAID. Kanye had some skills, but now he’s blown it with PRIDE. Dude thinks he’s Hemingway, and he’s just Amway…buh bye Jesus Waltz.

  2. MeLikey

    Is this guy retarded? Why is he famous?

  3. Lissa

    For the 500th time-this year-, I will say it again…. DOUCHE!

  4. Dana

    Not gon’ lie…that Lindsay Lohan quote was HILARIOUS! She was all kinds of coked up when she came up with that nonsense!

  5. Dinkus

    newsflash to his fans – his music sucks. His ego is out of control like most rappers, at least this generation’s. The old school rappers came from dirt, and were underground most of the time, so they were chill and hard when they made it, and let the music do the talking. Kanye acts like a child, not a man, seriously. If you don’t think he’s nuts, it’s just because you’re an uneducated low-IQ moron.
    If he talked that kind of crap in most working class towns, he would be beat until he learned to shut up. And he hasn’t done his career any favors whatsoever by hogging center stage. He had a decent career, and a decent style, but it wasn’t enough. Now, he’ll probably never rebound. The guy is a joke, and, sorry, but this is what happens when you teach an entire race or generation that pride is not a vice. Guess what, pride is not only a vice, but it’s also a life-destroyer. This bozo is done.

  6. tymia w.

    he’s so done when my beautiful dark twisted fantasy sold 500,000 copies first week with little promotion and his 1st cd was named the greatest cd of the decade. I’m not a “white hipster” i’m black and kanye is my favorite rapper. and honestly if we all judged music based on the artists personality a lot of cd’s bought now wouldnt be. just saying.

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