Kanye West is Just a Tree Trying to Feed Our Branch-Mouths

That headline not make sense? Good. Neither will anything else.

Kanye West debuted his new movie Runaway in London last night (above) then sat down for a Q&A afterward with The Daily Mirror where he proceeded to give the greatest interview I’ve ever seen in my life. It’s like reading a direct conversation with Jesus if Jesus was an egomaniacal crazy person who thought he’s the next Michael Jackson:

On Lindsay Lohan ruining the fashion world for celebrities:
“I promised I wouldn’t tear up… but have you heard of a little thing called Lindsay Lohan’s Ungaro collection? That was like the 9/11 of fashion. It was game over for me after that as no one would take a celebrity trying to do fashion seriously.”

On trying to fill the void Michael left behind:
“With the passing of Michael Jackson, I feel a responsibility to bring things to our generation that can inspire and bring real culture to pop culture. I don’t sleep any more thinking how we are going to fill this gap, and create something to inspire on the level he did.”

On how he’s going to inspire the world:
“I don’t want to be put in the hip-hop box, I’m an artist. Hopefully I’ll hook up with George Lucas and do a film about yellow people with beaks.”

And the money shot:
“I’m like a tree, I feed the branches of the people.”

I’m pretty sure if I spent an entire month in a room full of supermodels feeding me LSD and lies that I’m the largest endowed man they’ve ever seen, I’d still only come out 1/10th as batshit as Kanye West. The man’s ego operates on a level that advanced psychologists in the future won’t even comprehend. “He’s a tree that makes movies about beaked people, so we should hail him as the Messiah. — Screw this, I’m making out with a robot.”

Photos: WENN