Kanye West Fled The Country

January 17th, 2014 // 40 Comments
This Sounds Believable
Kim Kardashian Huge Ass Midriff Tight Dress Kanye West
Kanye Beat A Kid For Calling Kim A 'N*gger Lover' Read More »

[Ed. Note: Kanye didn't take Kim with him, so I reused these pics because big, giant titties. My editorialmanship is sound. - SW]

So remember when Kanye West allegedly beat the shit out of some kid in a chiropractor’s office for supposedly calling Kim a nigger lover and video would surface completely vindicating him? Yeah, none of that happen, so he’s in Paris now. Radar reports:

Prosecutors are currently investigating West for felony assault and battery connected to the incident.
His criminal record, which includes a misdemeanor no contest plea to battery of a photographer in 2008, and a pending battery case stemming from an earlier altercation with a paparazzo, are “absolutely going to hurt him in the Beverly Hills Police Department’s investigation into his actions, a law enforcement source previously told RadarOnline.com. “No, this young man shouldn’t have said those disgusting things, but this is America … The fact that Kanye went on his own will into a place of business and got in someone’s face and allegedly hit him could result in him being charged with felony assault and/or battery. It will all depend on the severity of the injuries, and Kanye’s version of events, if he chooses to cooperate.”

Of course, that all precludes Kanye coming back to the States even though I’d bet money that this conversation’s already happening:

“Baby girl, I can never come back now. I’m a wanted man.”
“What are you talking about? We’re rich. We’re paying the kid off now.”
“Nah, nah, girl, I won’t subject you to the life. I couldn’t live with myself. I’m a criminal now. An outlaw.”
“The charges are being dropped. You’re not making any sense.”
“Tell North her daddy will always love her. Tell her- *to someone in background* Bitch, I’m on the phone! – Tell her this was the hardest decision of his- BITCH. Phone. Damn. – the hardest decision of his life.”
“Ohmygod, are you with someone?”
“Uh.. oh, shit, it’s a raid!” *click*

Photos: FameFlynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Kanye West

    I didn’t take her with me because I would have had to buy a second ticket for her ass.

    • Randal

      Kim continues to age like a fine wine, the curves of youth becoming those of a full figured woman. Her unique style has created an industry of copy-cats, from her perfume and clothing line, even right down to her smart business sense.

      When Kim’s strutting past Kitson, Lisa Kline along Robertson Boulevard, the money there stops to watch and listen.


      • Mitch

        I just threw up a little bit.

        The Kardashians are nothing more than the west coast version of Honey Boo Boo. All are trash, just put out on the curb in different bags.

      • Hugh G. Rection

        I’m all for womanly curves, but come on…

      • “When Kim’s strutting past Kitson, Lisa Kline along Robertson Boulevard, the money there stops to watch and listen.”
        Listen to the squelching buttocks?
        Love you, Randal! :D

      • Randal(l)

        Kim continues to age like a wet fart, the curves of youth becoming those of a full figured Arctic musk ox. Her unique style has created an industry of whores who want to get pissed on, from her ass stink and dingle berry encrusted pelt, even right down to her sucking celebrity cock for money.

        When Kim’s waddling past Taco Bell along Figueroa the money there stops to watch and cower as she unhinges her mighty jaws and devours several small children foolish enough to be within gaping maw distance of a hungry Kardashian.


  2. Cock Dr

    Oh I hope she chases after him. May she leave these fair lands, may her enormous haunches propel her into trans-Atlantic flight, never to return.

  3. First Bieber is going to get deported over eggs, now Kanye has to flee the country because for some reason celebrities aren’t allowed to punch out children when they feel like it.

    I’m feeling an upwelling of patriotism and freedom that I haven’t felt since The Republican Revolution of 1994. AMERICA!!

  4. Rasputin's Evil Twin

    Never, ever thought I’d say this – I feel sorry for the French.

  5. MarketingMike

    First Bieber flames out, now this asshole takes off.
    It’s GREAT to be an American!

  6. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Commented on this photo:

    Uhmmmm, Why is Kim 30lbs lighter in her selfies?

  7. Jiminy Cryptic

    - *to gay french designer boyfriend in background*


  8. Bane

    Yeah, this didn’t work out for Roman Polanski much either.

  9. RayJ

    With gayfish out of the country, who will pee on Kim?

  10. I read that all in Kanye voice.

  11. j-sin

    Dem titties though…

  12. Sicks and stones may break my bones,
    But Kanye West will kill me.

  13. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    I can see your nipple, cow. Moooo.

  14. cc

    to Syria.


  15. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a black Liberace

  16. Mel

    Kanye is being charged w/ having sex with a white woman.

  17. diversity hire

    Kanye just needed some alone time with Pierre.

  18. BitchDetector

    Just like a bitch.

  19. Jenn

    I’m all for him hieing his silly self to France, but he could’ve taken his bitch with him. Surely the carry on charge for her fat ass can’t be that much. I mean, he’s already, gotta pay extra for that big giant ego of his anyway. Don’t be cheap, Yeezy.

  20. Kanye should join Chappelle in Africa and carve out a new territory, maybe call it Douchewana…..

  21. Fat disgusting coal burner who has a child with a misogynistic HOMOSEXUAL black man

  22. me

    Can’t wait for Kanye to go photog on that fat, ugly annoying baby mama of his…you know she’s so annoying and pisses him off constantly except for when he’s pretending she’s a man when he’s banging her big ass

  23. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Commented on this photo:

    Steps carefully because her ASS#- baby is overdue.

  24. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs a “Wide Load” sign

  25. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    That nipple clearly wants out…

  26. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim? How about retirement? You and your baby daddy can afford it. Stay home, take care of your baby, You deserve it (and so do we!).

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