Kanye West Digitized His Penis. Oh, Good.

July 9th, 2013 // 26 Comments
Kanye West

“If I turn around and some motherfucker’s tweetin’ while I’m scanning my dick, I swear to God…”

Last night, Kanye West released the video for “Black Skinhead” on his website only to quickly pull it after everybody laughed at it for being nothing but a dancing The Sims version of him if The Sims lets your characters have giant black penises down to their knees. *checks Amazon, sends Kim Kardashian’s baby a copy* Except what he really should be pulling it for is the line, “Like the Romans I keep it 300″ which you don’t even have to be smart to know why that’s wrong. You just have to have seen a movie and remembered a place. One place. Then again, I forget what country this is, so I might as well be asking a diabetic sloth to read Dickens. They were all some sort of fighting people. Close enough.

Photo: Getty / Video: Rap Dose

superficial

  1. Sheppy

    I remember when graphics used to look like that.

  2. Cock Dr

    Thank god the blogger can only lead us to these broad shimmering lakes of shit….but cannot force us to drink it.

  3. Fish, at what point in the video does the enormous jumping penis start? I couldn’t get past the :18 mark. The damned video is 3:31 and I’m afraid I’ll go for the gun cabinet if I have to watch the whole thing.

  4. Nonnie Moose

    Oh, Justin, Justin. This one’s for you, Beiber.

  5. Did a high school art major make this video?

    It looks like the screensaver where the ragdoll falls down on the cliffs and bounces around your monitor.

    The song sounds like a hyena getting raped with a wire brush

  6. piper

    I kept expecting the 90′s dancing baby to come in and start dropping mad beats.

    I am now disappointed.

  7. Bane

    Looks like it starts with a circle jerk of some kind.

    Yep, that would be about right.

  8. This song and video are great. I really don’t have anything else to say. I didn’t even notice the penis, honestly.

  9. pavement_smear

    Give Kanye a break on that ’300′ line. All those iron-age mediterranean warriors look alike to him.

  10. I noticed that 300 thing too but then then in the next few lines”…300 bitches, wear the Trojans” is actually a question “…where the Trojans?”

    I’d need to see his original lyrics, but in that case could be first implying that for 300 you’d better be look for and wear some Trojans. Second, he could be expecting attentive listeners to pick the mistaken reference and ask that actual question, “Where the Trojans?” possibly even at the same time he says it the first time you hear the chorus.

    I can see him doing something that…convoluted is not the right word.

    • I thought it was “Where the Trojans” as in the Trojans who fought the 300 Romans at the Battle of Whatever that Kanye thinks happened in that cool-ass movie.

      Of course, the Trojan War, the Greco-Persian War, and the Roman Empire all existed several centuries apart from each other. But, y’know, learning history’s for punks.

      • Okay, now this is actually convoluted. What if it is supposed to be used in all forms including “we’re the Trojans,” stating that they live like Trojans with the women and the things in these last 4 lines.

        Baby we living in the moment
        I’ve been a menace for the longest
        But I ain’t finished, I’m devoted
        And you know it, and you know it

        Regardless goes to prove what Fish said about people who say they are winning. 50 Cent is Ghost-Texting and Kanye has people discussing his lyrics in comments on blogs that don’t focus on music.

  11. What’s with the two white stalactites throughout the video? Are we supposed to believe this is being seen from inside the mouth of a wild dog or something?

  12. Is this supposed to be a remix of Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People”?

  13. Jay Z

    I find I enjoy his songs a lot more with the sound muted.

  14. Mike Tython

    This song has a gay sass to it.

  15. Mrs. T

    is this hiz exercise video?

  16. I’m getting a migraine from trying to decide who I hate more: This asshole or Bieber.

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