Kanye West Feels Just Like A Slave Because Nike Only Let Him Design Two Shoes

November 21st, 2013 // 59 Comments
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During his interview with BBC Radio 1 in September, Kanye West described himself as Vanellope von Schweetz from Wreck-It Ralph. Except now he’s seen 12 Years A Slave, so he’d like to change it to that now. He’s the guy from that movie now. Via Radar Online:

“For me, I felt like the main character. In what I’m dealing with even as a mega-popular-rich-celebrity-f**k-you-who-do-you-think-you-are-to-complain-about-anything situation that I’m in, or in the past when I’ve dealt with attempting to create in other fields or in clothing, I’ve kind of been in this campaign that started with, ironically, my song, “New Slaves” where I was sitting in Paris and dealing with all of these companies that I promoted and I saw my friends promoted, and the reason literally why they would sell on Barney’s floors, is because me and Jay Z, everyone wore it,” West rambled.
“And it will be something that I sort of discovered maybe four years before that… putting it on trend. And then you start just doing more research and say, hey, I want to be part of the creative conversation and be able to make money off of that also, and they stop you right there and say, you can’t be a part of that conversation, or they give you a one-off, like, Louis Vuitton I did one shoe and Nike I did two shoes where they spread ‘em apart over four years and they had like, the most impact possible.
“And I kind of saw that side of what it was as a creative to be free, as the parallel of the main character in 12 Years A Slave. And then when it was taken away from me it felt like what it felt like as a creative to be enslaved, to have all of these ideas for product, things you were talking about earlier.”

And just in case the gravity of how fucking ridiculous every word out of Kanye’s mouth was isn’t immediately apparent, here’s the Wikipedia synopsis of the main character Solomon Northup‘s life which, by the way, is a true story and not a fictional candy princess this time because Kanye’s shitting on the very fabric of reality now. Just shitting right on it:

In his home town of Saratoga, New York, Solomon Northup, a free negro who was a skilled carpenter and violinist, was approached by two circus promoters. They offered him a brief, high-paying job as a musician with their traveling circus. Without informing his wife, who was away at work in a nearby town, he traveled with the strangers to New York and Washington, D.C. Soon after arriving in the capital, he awoke to find himself drugged, bound, and in the cell of a slave pen. When Northup asserted his rights as a free man, he was beaten and warned never again to mention his free life in New York.
Transported by ship to New Orleans, Northup and other enslaved blacks contracted smallpox and one died. In transit, Northup implored a sympathetic sailor to send a letter to his family. The letter arrived safely, but, lacking knowledge of his final destination, Northup’s family was unable to effect his rescue.
Northup’s first owner was William Ford, a cotton planter on a bayou of the Red River. He subsequently had several other owners during his twelve-year bondage. At times, his carpentry and other skills meant he was treated relatively well, but he also suffered extreme cruelty. On two occasions, he was attacked by a white man who he was leased to, John Tibeats, and defended himself, for which he suffered great reprisals. After about two years of enslavement, he was sold to Edwin Epps, a notoriously cruel planter. He held Northup enslaved for 10 years, during which time he assigned the New Yorker to various roles from cotton picker to hauler to driver, which required he oversee the work of fellow slaves and punish them for undesirable behavior.
After being beaten for claiming his free status in the slave pen in Washington, D.C., Northup in 12 years did not reveal his true history again to a single person, slave or owner.

Wow, I actually feel stupid now because that sounds exactly like sitting in a luxury Paris hotel not being allowed to design shoes for Barney’s all the while being paid millions of dollars. In fact, it’s practically a paradise, so what is this bitch complaining about? “Oh boo hoo, I used to be free, now I’m a slave.” Try only being allowed to make two Nikes. TWO. Those are Michael Jordan‘s shoes!!!!

Photos: Splash News


  1. Kim Kardashian Breast Kanye
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is the back of Marcellus Wallace’s head on her chest?

  2. This rant by Kanye should be the most offensive thing to black people in the history of black people.

  3. Thanks for freeing the slaves Lincoln, that worked out great for all of us.

  4. This asshole and Russell Simmons are the two biggest hypocritical pieces of shit around. They talk all this crap about being black, being oppressed and so on and then run off and date, have children with and marry women that are not black. Kanye, the poor oppressed black man that runs and has a baby with a white woman and then gets engaged to her. Go fuck yourself Kanye.

    Watching Russell Simmons talk all his pro-black crap while he parades around with white model after white model on his arm is nothing short of pure comedy. What is worse is a lot of people actually buy into his bullshit.

    • You won’t get an argument from me about Kanye’s douchiness, but – going after him for marrying a white woman…? Are you only supposed to Iove/marry people of your own race? Maybe it’s because I’m not American and so am missing the finer points of this, but to me that sounds, well, racist.

      Same goes for KimK’s “love of the black cock”, btw.

  5. My people went through a fucking potato famine.


    Now I buy shitloads of potatoes whenever I feel like it. They’re fucking cheap and I’m rich. Fuck it.

    But I never forget. I feel ya Kanye.

  6. Dox

    I had this long, drawn out rant all typed up. It was quite intelligent, remarking on his middle class upbringing, his educational opportunities, etc…

    But honestly, I can really sum it up in four words. And Kanye, I really hope you are listening.

    Fuck you, Kanye West.

  7. Mohawk Disco

    It’s good slavery is gone but in his case I’d be OK with someone whipping him until his brain learns not to open his mouth ever again.

    • Convex

      I think we should revive slavery so we can show assholes like Kanye West, Oprah Winfrey, and every other rich-and-famous, whiny black person out there EXACTLY how bad it was and EXACTLY how far they are from it today. Maybe then these hypocritical, racist shits would shut their mouths except to say “thank you” for all they’ve managed to get despite having so little talent and so very few brain cells.

      • Get off my site, Mark Levin.

      • Dox

        Damn Fish, I was kind of hoping for a Jim Crow Reference.

      • this is no more your site than the WalMart store is the property of the retarded greeter person at the door.

      • cmonreally

        I had an argument that would suggest that, while we no longer force black people to work for free, nor mercilously beat them for insignificant “errors” in their behavior (except for the state of Florida, but then again why beat them when you can shoot them), there are still racial inequality issues, with empasis on economics, educational oppurtunities, and overall societal views on race.

        However, I erased it all, since your post really speaks for itself, and trying to argue with you would be like trying to convince a black hole not to be so dense.

  8. Kim Kardashian Breast Kanye
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He doesn’t seem to be blessed with much in the way of brains.
    He may never understand that the only reason he was allowed access to that balloon ass was to enlarge the K klan’s coffers.

    • Dox

      Honestly Doc, I don’t think he can conceive of a world in which someone’s family would not be absolutely thrilled to have him as a son in law, debasing themselves to his cartoon character/Savior Complex/Slave persona.

      On another note, he is a very confused individual. I’ve never met a person who identifies with quite such a variety of differing figures.

      • …he is a very confused individual. I’ve never met a person who identifies with quite such a variety of differing figures.

        Otherwise known as borderline personality disorder.

  9. Kayne is a pathetic, whining, *talentless* bitch. Even moreso than that fat, smelly Armenian cow he claims to stick his tiny little tootsie roll into is less of a bitch than him. Well, at least they both like taking it in the ass. She’ll get tired of being his beard soon enough.

    • Jade

      I never bothered to listen to any of his music. I figured it must be good, but it isn’t my thing. Then I watched his new video of airbrushed Kim on his lap on a cycle, and I listened to him doing a song that I swear could have been a parody video made by a college kid, about him wanting to bone Kim on a sink.

      Screw her on a sink? This is what his deep music is about? Sex?

      Dude, you’re like what, around 40ish? The mystique of sex is something for 18 yr olds who are finally getting to do it. After a few years, we can do it whenever we want, so instead of running around telling people, adults just sort of do it. No need to glamorize it with an airbrush and tell everyone you wanna bone on a sink.

      • Dox

        Yes Jade… Screw her on a sink, is a deep metaphorical reference to…. something. As evidenced by the halo of light around Mr… Excuse me, Savior West’s head at all times, one can only conclude that whatever vile garbage that drops from his lips has multiple meanings.

        I will leave you to ponder them, and perhaps in the process finally come to understand Savior West in all his artistic glory.

        (Note: Please read with a huge helping of sarcasm.)

      • “I wanna fuck you hard over the livestock tank; while you standin’ there takin’ a drank.”

        I watched that video too and agree. It is ridiculous. And Kanye sucks, but even among Kanye’s popular music that I have heard that song fucking blows. At least gold digger is catchy.

      • I wanna milk you hard, get dat Vitamin D; after that, you can drink my… dammnit, nothing rhymes with D.

      • Atomicbetty


      • Whatever


  10. JA

    Possibly one of the stupidest celebrities ever…

  11. teddy

    I wish he’d die already.. a slow painful agonizing death.. ass cancer would do.

  12. Kim Kardashian Breast Kanye
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the look of someone who just realized how long, “till death do you part..” really is.

  13. This shitbag needs to spend a day with the kids that actually make his shitty shoes.

  14. Jade

    He should talk less about his misguided and stupid feelings, and just get back to talking about screwing an airbrushed and lypo’d KK on a sink.

    Seriously.. I am getting sick of his “poor black slave” routine.

  15. Kim is holding Luigi captive under her jacket #FreeLuigi

  16. I can’t wait for her to divorce him and take him for everything he’s got. You know Kris already has the plan laid out.

  17. If Kanye is an oppressed slave for enduring the Nike shoe thing, then I am a goddamn slave for enduring his horrible Bound 2 video. Talk about the yoke around my neck.

  18. The thing is, Kanye is a talented guy. Musically, he kind of created his own genre. He came along when all the phony gangsta rap shit was all the mainstream cared about and he carved out a pretty huge niche for himself. And the rap world has followed suit. His influence has made it possible for talented people that don’t meet the G rap prototype to succeed. He’s an amazing producer and even his Nike “Air Yeezy” designs were really cool.

    It would be so much easier to appreciate his talent and admire his success if he would just shut the fuck up. Just save your fucking ranting for people that you pay to listen to it. Ever know anyone that based all of their opinions on half-truths and whatever they had heard most recently? Following him on Twitter is like having that friend but with an enormous coke problem and crippling insecurity. THAT shit cray.

  19. I am not mad at Kanye for comparing himself to somebody who went through true hardships. I am upset with myself for being aware of Kanye. l know that if we ignored him and stopped listening to him,he would go away.

  20. Pig Pussy

    What a bunch of jealous haters. You wish you could have one tenth of the fame and notoriety that we do.

    • Juano

      Kim, I don’t hate him. I pity him, because I can only imagine what a cess pit of insecurity this guy has to be to make such a comparison. I mean, really, come on! Comparing himself to a slave? What kind of person who’s comfortable with themselves actually makes those sorts of comments? They only get made by people who are so insecure with themselves that they take everything as a shot across their bow.

      Note: I assume you’re Kim K, because only somebody that stupid would continue to use the outdated phrase “haters”. In your world, anyone who dislikes the crap you pull or say is a “hater” rather than a mature human being.

    • Anyone that uses the word “notoriety” as a positive and something to strive towards is clearly doing everything right. I would be more satisfied with 1/10th of Kanye’s money, none of the fame, and you can have all the notoriety.

    • Jade

      Yes, I really absolutely hate that I don’t have a large chunk of the world’s population laughing at me every time I try to tell them how wonderful I am, while at the same time telling them how oppressed I am. Only in my wildest dreams could I hope that people could crack jokes about me that much. I’d kill to have someone make fun of me on Jimmy Kimmel.

  21. Ginger Failed

    Who the f*ck would buy a kanye west designed shoe?

  22. Kim Kardashian Breast Kanye
    Commented on this photo:

    OK, so this is the one-uppin’ breast pic to undo her little skank sister doing the see-through nipple yesterday.
    Somebody said they’re all at war and so jealous of eachother. So true. No doubt fuled on by pimp-mom. ”-You’re my favorite daughter, -no you’re my favorite daughter..”

  23. BlinkyTheFish

    Slavery, eh. God knows the man is rich enough to start his own clothing business. I would imagine a lot of people with that kind of money and design aspirations would just start their own company. Shocking idea.

  24. Ripley's Believe It Or Not

    This guy is a slave: to self-absorption/narcissism/vanity. He’ll never be free in his lifetime (his best chance was hooking up with a long term partner capable of challenging him – oops, there goes that possibility).

  25. nobody's second cousin

    OMG his mouth is always open!!

  26. JJ Michaels

    A little congressional twerking and we can start making the ones like Kanye West slaves again.Selective Slavery. The enforcement agency can be called the SS. FTW!

  27. JJ Michaels

    He should start a slavery theme park. Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen….EXCEPT YOU! Ten bucks a ride…C’MON GET IN THE CELL, NI66ER

  28. Kim Kardashian Breast Kanye
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t she afford a top that covers those fake tits?

  29. Kim Kardashian Breast Kanye
    Commented on this photo:

    Stumpy legs

  30. Kim Kardashian Breast Kanye
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry Kim but Kanye always has the look like he has just stolen something. Maybe your bra!

  31. Ha ha! Sucker. Even I got to design three.

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