Kanye West Feels Just Like A Slave Because Nike Only Let Him Design Two Shoes

During his interview with BBC Radio 1 in September, Kanye West described himself as Vanellope von Schweetz from Wreck-It Ralph. Except now he’s seen 12 Years A Slave, so he’d like to change it to that now. He’s the guy from that movie now. Via Radar Online:

“For me, I felt like the main character. In what I’m dealing with even as a mega-popular-rich-celebrity-f**k-you-who-do-you-think-you-are-to-complain-about-anything situation that I’m in, or in the past when I’ve dealt with attempting to create in other fields or in clothing, I’ve kind of been in this campaign that started with, ironically, my song, “New Slaves” where I was sitting in Paris and dealing with all of these companies that I promoted and I saw my friends promoted, and the reason literally why they would sell on Barney’s floors, is because me and Jay Z, everyone wore it,” West rambled.
“And it will be something that I sort of discovered maybe four years before that… putting it on trend. And then you start just doing more research and say, hey, I want to be part of the creative conversation and be able to make money off of that also, and they stop you right there and say, you can’t be a part of that conversation, or they give you a one-off, like, Louis Vuitton I did one shoe and Nike I did two shoes where they spread ‘em apart over four years and they had like, the most impact possible.
“And I kind of saw that side of what it was as a creative to be free, as the parallel of the main character in 12 Years A Slave. And then when it was taken away from me it felt like what it felt like as a creative to be enslaved, to have all of these ideas for product, things you were talking about earlier.”

And just in case the gravity of how fucking ridiculous every word out of Kanye’s mouth was isn’t immediately apparent, here’s the Wikipedia synopsis of the main character Solomon Northup’s life which, by the way, is a true story and not a fictional candy princess this time because Kanye’s shitting on the very fabric of reality now. Just shitting right on it:

In his home town of Saratoga, New York, Solomon Northup, a free negro who was a skilled carpenter and violinist, was approached by two circus promoters. They offered him a brief, high-paying job as a musician with their traveling circus. Without informing his wife, who was away at work in a nearby town, he traveled with the strangers to New York and Washington, D.C. Soon after arriving in the capital, he awoke to find himself drugged, bound, and in the cell of a slave pen. When Northup asserted his rights as a free man, he was beaten and warned never again to mention his free life in New York.
Transported by ship to New Orleans, Northup and other enslaved blacks contracted smallpox and one died. In transit, Northup implored a sympathetic sailor to send a letter to his family. The letter arrived safely, but, lacking knowledge of his final destination, Northup’s family was unable to effect his rescue.
Northup’s first owner was William Ford, a cotton planter on a bayou of the Red River. He subsequently had several other owners during his twelve-year bondage. At times, his carpentry and other skills meant he was treated relatively well, but he also suffered extreme cruelty. On two occasions, he was attacked by a white man who he was leased to, John Tibeats, and defended himself, for which he suffered great reprisals. After about two years of enslavement, he was sold to Edwin Epps, a notoriously cruel planter. He held Northup enslaved for 10 years, during which time he assigned the New Yorker to various roles from cotton picker to hauler to driver, which required he oversee the work of fellow slaves and punish them for undesirable behavior.
After being beaten for claiming his free status in the slave pen in Washington, D.C., Northup in 12 years did not reveal his true history again to a single person, slave or owner.

Wow, I actually feel stupid now because that sounds exactly like sitting in a luxury Paris hotel not being allowed to design shoes for Barney’s all the while being paid millions of dollars. In fact, it’s practically a paradise, so what is this bitch complaining about? “Oh boo hoo, I used to be free, now I’m a slave.” Try only being allowed to make two Nikes. TWO. Those are Michael Jordan’s shoes!!!!

Photos: Splash News