Kanye Kives Kim Kauliflowers

New writer, who dis?

Come at me with more hate than my brother, Randy Cappuccino. Why? I’m bringing you the unsexiest, least exciting piece of garbage you will see today. And I vow that you will wish you had that ten seconds of your life back to continue eating Hot Cheetos and vaping.

So it was K+K’s third wedding anniversary this past week. Instead of giving his busty bride a multimillion dollar ring that can be easily stolen, he opted for something much cheaper: A “room” full of flowers. Look here, I’m a desperately single old cat lady. But if my future ex-husband got a giant cauliflower for me, I’d be pretty stoked. You can bake ‘em, fry ‘em, mash ‘em, put ‘em in a stew. Fuck, Samwise would get a boner.

Unlike her men, Kimmy prefers her floral arrangements white.

 

Inky’s Wedding Recipe:

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F.

Cut cauliflower head into bite sized florets. Place in bowl and drizzle generously with olive oil or coconut oil. A few pinches of salt. (Eat a raw one to see if it’s seasoned okay).

Put wedding flowers on a baking tray or casserole dish if you are poor.

Bake for 25 minutes, mixing halfway through. Not golden enough? Keep baking that shit.