Kaley Cuoco Is The New Jennifer Love Hewitt

October 4th, 2013 // 22 Comments
F*ck You, Superman
Kaley Cuoco Ryan Sweeting Engaged Emmys
Kaley Cuoco's Engaged Already Read More »

Because some women believe their craziness is not only acceptable but adorable, Jennifer Love Hewitt let everyone know that she carried around three preselected engagement rings in her purse, so that when she got pregnant and trapped a man into marrying her, he wouldn’t pick the wrong ring. And now the baton has been passed to Kaley Cuoco who walked around with a prop engagement ring until Ryan Sweeting somehow caved because no one ever taught him Superman is the best role model. THE BEST. Via the National Enquirer while I figure out how to flee to deep space after knocking up a reporter. Can’t be that hard:

The unlucky-in-love actress, 27, had been sporting a prop sparkler on and off the set of her new film, “The Wedding Ringer.” And an insider says it was a signal to her tennis pro boyfriend, Ryan Sweet­ing, that she was ready for the real thing.
“Kaley’s crazy about Ryan,” said a source. “She was wearing the fake bling all around hoping Ryan would get the hint – and he did!”

When reached for comment, Ryan Sweeting murmured something about it making her punches “hurt more” while rocking back and forth in the corner, brushing his hair until clumps fell to the floor like so much innocence lost.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, WENN


  1. The power of motorboating compelled him to proposed.

  2. Deacon Jones

    As my coworker always says, “That’s why they’ll never be president”

  3. JC

    I believe the first part of the quote from “the source” is incorrect. The original was: “Kaley’s crazy.”

  4. The moment your woman starts sporting fake engagement rings around you, it’s time to drop her like a bad habit. Never get married. There’s absolutely no benefit in it for a man.

    • the only set of circumstances where it makes any sense for a man to get married are (1) if the woman is fabulously wealthy, and has less than a year to live, (2) is Kelly Brook or someone equally as spectacular or (3) woman is mute, paralyzed, and into anal.

    • crb


      Women are already spoiled, and you’re giving up most of the characteristics you had that attracted them in the first place.
      (-Like being able to discipline her immediately for bad behavior with little second thought.)

      Never pay attention to what a woman Says, only what she Does, and Actually Responds-To.

      • let'sgetstonedanddrunkASfuck

        I can’t hear you sexist dumbfucks back there in the 50s… grow a pair, get off your fat asses and find an intelligent woman who’s happy to talk about history, politics, cars, sports, guns, video games, whatever- but if the women in your lives thus far have been that pathetic that you can’t even talk about them like they are people, well hey buddy, you picked ‘em.

        Say what you want about whatsherface up there because her behavior is embarrassing.

      • crb

        Not sexism, just Truth.

        And believe me, a more-or-less classicly-feminist manfied woman like the one you describe will be even More likely to take as much of your stuff as she can and jump ship the moment you start displaying yourself as an a**-kissing beta-male.

        If you are a dude, you are in for a rude awakening from your “Not All Women Are Like That”-Disney fairy tale. And one I take no relish in alerting you to.

        If you’re a chick, then there’s no reasoning with you anyway, so…

  5. They’ve been going out for, what… two weeks? Three? It’s clearly meant to be. I wonder if her and Taylor Swift hang out….

  6. Urbanspaceman

    She’s a stage five clinger.

  7. glumcunt

    It’s another “bitches be crazy” day at the Superficial. And they say women don’t have to deal with mood swings…

  8. Walter White

    Butterfaced linebacker shouldered non talent annoying cunt.

  9. Sure her name is not Kaley Cuckoo?

  10. If I were dating a girl who started wearing an engagement ring, I’d get the hint. I’d get the hint that she’s engaged to someone else.

  11. poop

    maybe she was wearing a prop wedding ring
    because the movie is you know, the wedding ringer

  12. Polk

    A tennis player who is exhibiting no evidence of balls.

  13. Kaley Cuoco Ryan Sweeting
    Commented on this photo:

    “Weren’t you banging Henry Cavill a few months ago?”
    “Sorry…I gotta take this phone call.”

  14. Kaley Cuoco Ryan Sweeting
    Commented on this photo:

    “Let’s see how this looks.”
    “Uh Kaley, I don’t need a bluetooth.”
    “Oh no, this isn’t a bluetooth, it’s a tracking device! YOU AREN’T LEAVING ME!”

  15. JoJO

    Take the hint from Superman….he ran like hell after 2 weeks….so should you!!!!

  16. friendlystoner

    just like here looks, I was hoping she was the chilled level headed girl next door, how my hopes have been dashed! at least Johnny Galecki got his end away first!

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