Superman Dumped Kaley Cuoco Already

July 12th, 2013 // 36 Comments
Ten Days Ago
Kaley Cuoco
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“Haha, remember when we were at the deli and you made the joke about wondering who you’ll get to bang from TV next? That was so funny.”
“Haha, joke?”

If it feels like Henry Cavill only started dating Kaley Cuoco a few days ago, that’s because it was, but that’s over now, so there’s no use dwelling in the past, Kaley. Just remember the good times like how the entire Internet saw 800 pictures of you fetching him coffee every morning while he went through your TiVo and made a mental list of women whose vaginas will hopefully excite him in ways yours clearly couldn’t. No one will ever take that away from you. That was Kal-El’s gift to you.

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. FattyFatty2X4

    She didn’t want to be that Englishman’s beard!

  2. Clingers never know they are clingers.

  3. alex

    I wonder what she’s like. I mean, we all think we know what these people are like in real life but it’s mostly just an extension of their well-known television characters…so is she like Penny in real life or is she more like the phony Reese Whitherspoon?

    • emma watson's vagina

      first up if I knew what she was like in real life. I would never tell. at least until she died. take Milton Berle aka Uncle Miltie . he had a big penis. comedian Red Skelton used to joke years ago about only pulling out just enough to win as they had contests years ago like that and most of the guys were straight. that was one of the secret jokes of him dressing as a woman in certain skits. this wasn’t released until he died. another would Tony Randall. basically he was a very nice person. and he kept any pain to himself. only if someone was spying on him would you see him going into despair. usually over his first wife’s illness which lasted for year. one of the reasons no one really went at him when he hooked up with a woman 40 plus years his junior.

      but this relationship smells of publicity stunt. remember she is on a show about comic book geeks and well he is playing the first superhero in comic books. if she were dating a comic book artist I would believe it to be real unless it would be Stan Lee as he is the only comic book creator that would be in that list. then maybe Neil Gaiman but he kinda broke away from comics and go into Hollywood so that might negate it. as he was friends with Fairuza Balk and Tori Amos( I think she was the inspiration for Delerium of the Endless in the Sandman/DC vertigo series.)

  4. Henry Cavill Kaley Cuoco Together
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “You….you’re..never going to lose that double-chin are you? That’s it, IM FUCKING DONE!”

  5. Henry Cavill Kaley Cuoco Together
    Commented on this photo:

    that is one clingy bitch.

  6. And I masturbated to her during two days for nothing now.

  7. anonymous

    He Supermaned dat ho!

    I don’t blame him. In interviews she sounds full of herself. She knows how to push all the right geek buttons but it a lot of it sounds fake coming from her.

  8. Henry Cavill Kaley Cuoco Together
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks thrilled.

  9. Gina Carrano got 10 months, Kaley got 10 days. Damn, Kaley. That’s got to hurt. I bet she’s super annoying.

  10. Henry Cavill Kaley Cuoco Together
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugh, she doesn’t seem like the needy type, but then again he didn’t seem like the Simon Cowell t-shirt and douchie sunglasses tucked in his man cleavage type either.

  11. She is annoying on the show, I can only imagine she is 10 times worse in real life and in a relationship. She must give amazing blowjobs, because I have no idea how she got this far in Hollywood, not that attractive and not that funny.

    • emma watson's vagina

      she was a child actress who didn’t go the Lindsay Lohan route. also she was a TV actress and pretty much stayed on the TV and did very little movies. when she started on The Big Bang she was smoking hot. the show is funny and that annoyingness blends in with the show. after the show is over we will see how far she will go. anyone remember Deborah Messing

      • A few corrections.
        “When she started on the Big Bang Theory she was in good shape and had a total butterface but the media told everyone she was hot and the sheep said baaaaah she’s hot”

        “The show is not funny at all, try watch that tripe without the laugh track. Painfully unfunny.”

      • Sheppy

        it’s not a laughter track, it’s an audience.

      • emma watson's vagina

        guess I got low standards on faces. which means I would face fuck Rose McGowan.

      • Rose Mcgowan was gorgreous. After the car accident she had to have reconstructive surgery but her face doesnt look as bad as many of the plastic women/trannies in the industry. Her smile is a bit off but so is Sofia Vergaras and people worship her joker restalyne filler face.

      • Jenn

        I’m so glad someone else thinks Sofia looks like the Joker when she smiles. She’s scary.
        Kaley’s cute, and I like her, but she’s no Bette Davis of the acting world.

      • MakeIt

        Just because you don’t think it’s funny doesn’t mean everybody else in the world should agree with you. It is the number one comedy on television afterall. People have different senses of humor just like people have different tastes in men and women. If she got naked and told you to take her you would. Get over yourself.

  12. Henry Cavill Kaley Cuoco Together
    Commented on this photo:

    Just saw her own show for the first time.

  13. Female

    I don’t know why every hot man automatically requires a beard when it comes to The Superficial readership. However, I know exactly ZERO % of the female population would EVER turn this guy down. Count your losses Cuoco, rename your Hitachi ‘Henry’ and tone down the desperation next time. PS. I hate you.

    • Uh I would turn him down. I hate it when people say zero of the population and theyre really just speaking for themselves. He’s a good looking guy, i can admit it but I’m not really into muscular guys with the exception of Channing Tatum and Taylor Lautner. Also i dont really like white guys unless theyre a little on the nerdy side.

  14. Henry Cavill Kaley Cuoco Together
    Commented on this photo:

    Pssst: will you stop please?

  15. Female

    Moval Vida = secretly a dude

  16. Henry Cavill Kaley Cuoco Together
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did you put the heavy stuff on the bottom?”
    “Did your mouth come with an off switch?”
    “Nothing. I love you and tolerate your ugly ass outfit.”

  17. Henry Cavill Kaley Cuoco Together
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do you think we’ll be together forever?”
    “God I hope not!”

  18. Henry Cavill Kaley Cuoco Together
    Commented on this photo:

    “Remember when we had sex?”
    “Yeah. That was fun… Bye!”
    And then he was off, faster than a speeding bullet.

  19. Henry Cavill Kaley Cuoco Together
    Commented on this photo:

    you can see it here, it’s the same GOB expression: I made a huge mistake.

  20. Henry Cavill Kaley Cuoco Together
    Commented on this photo:

    ah criminy! fucked up on writing my user name: you can see it here, it’s the same GOB expression: I made a huge mistake.

  21. the_spiral

    Wait, they “dated” for like a week and spent that time schlubbing around for groceries in ugly clothes with the body language of an old married couple? Two hot celebrities who have assistants to shop and fetch coffee for them so they never have to get out of bed?

    Even in the realm of fake PR relationships, this is way off. Superman needs to fire his publicists if he’s really interested in dispelling the gay rumors.

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