So Kai The Hitchhiking Hatchet Hero Allegedly Murdered An Attorney For Allegedly Raping Him

May 17th, 2013 // 22 Comments
Kai Autotune
WATCH: The Autotune You Knew Was Coming
'I'm The Anti-Christ'
Kai Homeless Hatchet Hero
Okay, So Maybe This Should've Been A Red Flag Read More »

Should I really have included the autotune? Probably.

So remember Kai The Homeless Hitchhiking Hero who saved a woman’s life by beating a crazy man who thought he was Jesus in the head with a hatchet? He, uh, he may have taken his love of hatcheting skulls too far. Via Gawker:

Galfy was discovered beaten to death in his Clark, New Jersey, residence on Monday, and today police issued a warrant for [Caleb "Kai" Lawrence] McGillvary’s arrest. The 24-year-old drifter, who says he is not homeless but “home free,” was captured at a Greyhound bus station in Philadelphia.
According to Philadelphia’s NBC 10, authorities believe Galfy picked up McGillvary in Times Square Saturday night before taking him to his house. They also believe the two had a “sexual encounter.”

And by sexual encounter, Kai would have you to believe that was rape because he allegedly posted this to Facebook on Tuesday:

what would you do if you woke up with a groggy head, metallic taste in your mouth, in a strangers house… walked to the mirror and seen come dripping from the side of your face from your mouth, and started wretching, realizing that someone had drugged, raped, and blown their f*ckin load in you? what would you do?

Ha! Just like the day I hired Photo Boy. But, no, seriously, what would I do? Probably re-examine my life and all the choices that led me to this moment starting with eating a fistful of acid and going, “No, man, it’ll be more like home-free.” From there, hope to God the police – I’m sorry, “policy enforcers.” – will believe me and enforce some policies on this dude’s anus. But going on a killing spree works, too, I guess. And in your defense, you were already famous for saying, “Well, I’m the Anti-Christ!” to a man you hit in the head with a hatchet after he said he’s Jesus while trying to run a woman over. Society gave you no choice.

superficial

  1. Damn! Someone better start keeping tabs on Charles Ramsey.

  2. What a fucked up world we live in.

  3. If Kai doesn’t enjoy waking up that way, he’s really going to hate prison.

  4. Really though — is there anything that can’t be solved by eating a fistful of acid?

  5. They need to a ppv cage match with him and Jodi Arias. Loser gets the electric chair. Winner gets their own reality show. Im betting on Jodi.

  6. DeucePickle

    Fuck is cool, that guy ain’t

  7. Yeah I’m sure with him being a hitchhiker and “home free” this is the first time that’s happened to him.

  8. barney

    Dude snuck up on Kai’s b-hole and went smash smaash saasmaassh

  9. So we live in a world where homeless, hatchet-wielding acid freaks who clearly see sanity only in the rear view mirror cannot be trusted to use their hatchet powers strictly for good?

  10. Dude Hitchhiker took his axe
    and gave some lawyer forty whacks.
    His story, and he’s sticking to it:
    a roofie facial made him do it.

  11. Randal(l)

    I refuse to live in a world where an internet famous mentally unstable drifter on acid whose known for sumashing people in the head with a weapon can be accused of a misdeed.

    Randal(l)

    • I cannot help but sense a connection between his past actions, clear mental instability, and fondness for tomahawks. It’s what the Germans termed “lysergicdrifterhatchetfrude.”

  12. Why do I get the feeling the first guy he hit just happened to be doing something bad at the time?

  13. The guys in the cellblock ought to love this guy. He’s already about 80% looking like a woman. Run a brush through his mop, wash him up, a little talcum powder in strategic areas…SHAZAM!…it’s Julia Roberts.

  14. I don’t know, just because he’s a hitchhiker(and a bit, uh colorful)doesn’t mean that guy didn’t assault him, however, he should’ve gone to to police, not gone smash with his hatchet.

  15. Alexis

    Noooooooo!

  16. Brandon

    He beat someone to death with a hatchet? He’s not very good at using a hatchet.

  17. Stewie

    The State of New Jersey will be making sure that he isn’t home free anymore. He might want to get use to waking up with cum dripping out of him.

  18. I’d probably have done the same, wouldn’t have told everyone about it though!

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