Kacey Jordan: ‘Charlie Sheen Promised Me a Bentley’

January 28th, 2011 // 77 Comments

Like an idiot, I assumed yesterday that porn star Kacey Jordan lawyered up because Charlie Sheen had more than likely overdosed on a briefcase full of coke. Turns out the reason was much more simple and obvious than that: Gold diggin’. RadarOnline reports:

“Ok for all the f**king haters… I’m getting a baby blue convertible Bentley next month so I dunno…HUSH fml,” the 22-year-old porn star wrote on her Twitter account Wednesday afternoon.
Sources confirmed to RadarOnline.com that the Two and a Half Men star made numerous promises to the porn stars he was partying with.
“My life has changed… Speechless :)” Kacey wrote.
Seems Kacey may have gotten her hopes up in the aftermath of Charlie’s hospitalization – just like the porn stars that came before her, she’s hired a lawyer.

Kacey is already blabbing to TMZ, but seriously, does Charlie Sheen really need to pay for these chicks’ silence at this point? For starters, I’m pretty sure having sex with four other women on a man’s coffee table while he snorts coke out of a coffee mug isn’t a legally binding contract to buy you a car, or I’d have ten by now. Second, what the hell are they going to say that people don’t already assume, if not consider irrefutable fact?

THEM: And then Charlie said if we didn’t shoot a Mexican midget in front of him, he can’t get it up. Then he made us bury it in the backyard. — Using only our hands! *sobs* He ate a sandwich the whole time and laughed when we broke our nails. Oh, God, I can still hear him chewing…
US: Wow. How entirely unexpected. *yawn*

Photos: Glamour Models Gone Bad (NSFW), INFdaily


  1. Kacey Jordan
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d make that face, too, if I had to have sex with Charlie Sheen.

  2. bitingontinfoil

    …wow…that honker explains the suitcase of coke. $2 million an episode and he rents a female version of Karl Malden?

  3. Kacey Jordan
    Commented on this photo:

    ya, because someone from the itty bitty titty committee has scored a bentley from a dude. At least a ‘c’ to rep bitch.

  4. Rachel

    I already hate this bitch’s face… I don’t even have to know what she did…

  5. Kacey Jordan
    Commented on this photo:

    Saw her original on a website alsscan. Not a bad looking girl. terrible, terrible Nose


  6. Danielle

    holy s**t! That is on fugly looking biotch!

  7. Kacey Jordan
    Commented on this photo:

    you know how they say you can judge a guy’s size, by the size of his hands? I think that works with a woman’s nose. This woman’s twat is HUGE. She has a nice toned body, but that thing looks like it’s swoled to about 3 times its actual size.

  8. Kacey Jordan
    Commented on this photo:

    the problem with this is we’ve all already seen her naked, why bother wearing underwear now?

  9. Dallas,tx

    Seems like these dam pornstars cant seem to keep their dam mouth $hut on and off the cameras!!!

  10. Kacey Jordan
    Commented on this photo:

    Truckstop Whore!

  11. Kacey Jordan
    Commented on this photo:

    Where did her hips go?

  12. Kacey Jordan
    Commented on this photo:

    Airing out her snatch, I guess

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