Kacey Jordan: ‘Charlie Sheen Promised Me a Bentley’

Like an idiot, I assumed yesterday that porn star Kacey Jordan lawyered up because Charlie Sheen had more than likely overdosed on a briefcase full of coke. Turns out the reason was much more simple and obvious than that: Gold diggin’. RadarOnline reports:

“Ok for all the f**king haters… I’m getting a baby blue convertible Bentley next month so I dunno…HUSH fml,” the 22-year-old porn star wrote on her Twitter account Wednesday afternoon.
Sources confirmed to RadarOnline.com that the Two and a Half Men star made numerous promises to the porn stars he was partying with.
“My life has changed… Speechless :)” Kacey wrote.
Seems Kacey may have gotten her hopes up in the aftermath of Charlie’s hospitalization – just like the porn stars that came before her, she’s hired a lawyer.

Kacey is already blabbing to TMZ, but seriously, does Charlie Sheen really need to pay for these chicks’ silence at this point? For starters, I’m pretty sure having sex with four other women on a man’s coffee table while he snorts coke out of a coffee mug isn’t a legally binding contract to buy you a car, or I’d have ten by now. Second, what the hell are they going to say that people don’t already assume, if not consider irrefutable fact?

THEM: And then Charlie said if we didn’t shoot a Mexican midget in front of him, he can’t get it up. Then he made us bury it in the backyard. — Using only our hands! *sobs* He ate a sandwich the whole time and laughed when we broke our nails. Oh, God, I can still hear him chewing…
US: Wow. How entirely unexpected. *yawn*

Photos: Glamour Models Gone Bad (NSFW), INFdaily