JWoww understands television

February 9th, 2010 // 51 Comments

Like any woman with fake tits and absolutely zero redeeming personal qualities, Jersey Shore’s JWoww reached the inevitable conclusion that they should probably be bigger. Page Six reports:

She was spotted Friday visiting the Long Island offices of plastic surgeon Dr. Stephen Greenberg, a breast specialist who also has offices on Park Avenue. A source told us, “She wants to get it done as soon as possible to be ready for the new season.”

You know what? Good for her. If you shouldn’t have even been on TV the first time, at least have the decency to make your tits a goddamn freak of nature the second time. And not just because that little Ewok thing will get stuck in them and no one notices until her tiny skeleton falls out during the reunion show clutching no less than 500 condoms. — I swear, It’s like I can see the future.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Dave ain't here man

    If only they were real….

  2. Waffle

    So, am I the only one who’s never heard of Jersey Shore outside of gossip sites?

  3. Richard McBeef

    i would it before i would that snooki thing. i would watch them all die in a grease fire before i would anyone though.

  4. Bob Vila

    @ Waffle –

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure at this point you’re the only person who hasn’t heard of Jersey Shore outside of gossip sites.

    Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that knowing Jersey Shore is cool. BUT, if you’re the sort of person who reads multiple gossip sites, you really don’t have any excuse to not have heard of/seen every episode of Jersey Shore.

  5. JWoww TA FUK is that… she’s Butt ugly but those boobies do look nice.. That is too bad there fake..

  6. sensitive guy

    I hate to admit it… but shit, I think she’s HOT!

  7. pimp

    bitch got a busted face…i’d like to bust the spokes on her asshole…

  8. Minister Hempf

    Is she married to Vince ShamWOW?

  9. The Pig on the Internet

    I’d love to see Snooki fist her.

    She just might squirt.

  10. Ego

    I’m all about safe sex so,
    I’d brown bag it then hit it.

  11. Boxy Brown

    Her tits look like if I touched them, they would feel like 2 tupperware bowls shoved under her skin.

  12. Cheryl

    As if they aren’t big enough already? Please tell me she’s getting them smaller. How much bigger can you get them until you look like a freak of nature..

  13. SO RIGHT

    Ladies — please listen. Take it from the Victoria’s Secret Models and natural beauties like Cindy Crawford — too big IS NOT ATTRACTIVE!!! The only men who are going to like you more are gross perverts! Honestly, none of the Victoria’s Secret models have DOUBLE D’s! They have beautiful B’s & C’s and that’s because they’re in shape and REAL. NOW STOP!

  14. Bob Vila

    @ Cheryl -

    Maybe she isn’t getting them bigger or smaller, just less shitty.

    Those things she had bolted onto her chest in the 1st season were fucking hideous, I have to believe with the money/fame she has now she could get a better pair attached.

  15. JJ Daddy-O

    How big is she going to go? She’s got to be DD now and any bigger and she’ll like a balloon escaped from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

  16. I have blown more loads to The Situation than Jwowww.

    I can’t even get a chubby when Snooki is on the screen and I can blow a load to just about anything. That cow makes me limper than a piece of overcooked spaghetti.

    Later,

    Mitch

  17. havoc

    WTF is up with her face?

    Gah…..

    .

  18. MM

    She oughta get that busted face worked on…

  19. No problem

    She’s like every other Irish/Italian chick in the Tri-State area.. a fuckin’ SKANK!

  20. no dice

    She needs my nut butter………..

  21. Rougher than rocco

    I believe she will get them bigger. This chick is tackier than a bride-to-be coming from her Bachelorette party brandishing a giant dildo while bar hopping…

  22. JackInTheBox

    Jwoww you’re ugly!

  23. rien

    PIZZAFACE!!!

  24. richard

    ARRGH KILL IT WIHT FIRE

  25. Hank

    I’ll admit the breast thing, but what is all this about her face? It doesn’t look busted… What would you prefer, Heidi Montag? What is wrong with you all, you have a doll fetish?

  26. She needs a face lift, not bigger tits. Right now she looks like a man with breast implants. Her current plan sounds like she will end up looking like a man with bigger breast implants.

  27. dancy

    I am just a bit curious..the magazine HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP reported his profile was found on the famous rich men seeking affairs site !!!(plusflirt.com) last week and he was seeking his woman there. wow!!

  28. I’ve not seen the show. What do these trolls actually do?

  29. schnib

    J WOWW that’s a butterface

  30. kp

    She went to the doctor for some chemical facial peel, not a boob job consultation, according to her Twitter.

  31. Perfect Double Tapered

    I wonder if she blows out her bush Paulie D style.

  32. jenny

    “She went to the doctor for some chemical facial peel, not a boob job consultation, according to her Twitter.”

    no boobs guys, sorry.

    why must everyone believe hollywood gossip.

  33. Bosco

    She needs to chemically peel off her face and replace it….

  34. Jeff

    i hate to admit it but this broad is pretty sexy

    her face is a lil too hairy though, but what ya expect with them italians

  35. Frank

    JWwoww is JCCoww – mooooooo – soooooey!!!

  36. She’s basically shown everything on Jersey Shore already. No idea why someone would then pay to see what’s been on MTV for free.

  37. lily

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  38. shes getting ready for her first porn shoot!

  39. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Kudos to MTV for inventing sigle question IQ test! “Do you wantch Jersey Shore?”- positive =moron

  40. boob

    Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at- Agemingle @ c o m a nice and free site for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to- interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends.

  41. Ralphie

    Because the world dosnt have enough, fake tanned, fake breasted, gargoyle faced, Ed Hardy clad, life supports for a vagina. Hey ladies, thank J-Cow for taking your entire sex down a few pegs.
    If it makes you feel any better, the Situation set men back like 50 years.

  42. Imagination

    The link “View Full Size” was never more relevant.

  43. Rabbit

    She is a fugly little Gnome, but damn I like those tits!

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  45. uhmmm firrsstt off allllll jwoww iss hottttttttttttttttttttt shuttt uppp she doesntt needd a faceliftt thats grossss. ndd herrr boobbsss areee hottt nd even biggerr ones are better lmao sooo shushh uu monkeeyy imm getttinn my titss doneee toooo;]] yummm canntttttt waittttttttt lmao dont hatee on herrr i wouldd so fuck her tooooooooooo=) lmao

  46. uhmmm firrsstt off allllll jwoww iss hottttttttttttttttttttt shuttt uppp she doesntt needd a faceliftt thats grossss. ndd herrr boobbsss areee hottt nd even biggerr ones are better lmao sooo shushh uu monkeeyy imm getttinn my titss doneee toooo;]] yummm canntttttt waittttttttt lmao dont hatee on herrr i wouldd so fuck her tooooooooooo=) lmao

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