JWoww in a Bikini

April 22nd, 2010 // 107 Comments

Finally, here’s JWoww in a bikini to cleanse your palate of Snarf-ass and bring Bikini Morning to its inevitable, fake-breasted close. I don’t really have much to say here about JWoww but I’m sure she has a wonderful personality that no one will ever make eye contact with ultimately resulting in a lonely middle-aged existence giving BJs with her trach hole.

*opens eyes*

What the? Blacked out there for a second which means I accurately predicted the future again, didn’t I? Dammit! Tell me it at least involves me banging a Martian, I don’t want to look back and find out I die making toast.

superficial

  1. nasty

    wtf is this nasty ass bitch doin

  2. Ego

    EEEWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwww… i’d hit it =x

  3. cc

    Sure will be glad when these cows 15 minutes are up! Last! scratch that. never!

  4. Rex Kramer-Danger Seeker

    Mmmmmm sweater meat.

  5. Tek

    This is the only one out to the group that can get it. And it sure as hell isn’t because of the bolt-ons. Face-wise she’s not as ugly as the rest (not saying she’s pretty, but you know…) and apart from the botched boob job she has a pretty nice body, in my opinon. No booty shots = FAIL, though.

  6. Bow-Wow-Wow

    Her real nickname is Bow Wow

  7. Whale Wars

    She better watch out, some Japaneese guy might harpoon her….

  8. Movieskank

    Wow, seriously Superfish?? This is the 4th post in a row about these NJ skanks. Super lame.

  9. vlad m.

    i used to love this site. i miss the original editor. he/she really was smart-funny. now, it seems youre just a random vehicle for promoting.. well, wahatever youre promoting. i mean, for gods sake, your last four posts are with ugly girls that are in a show i never even knew existed!
    i am throughly dissapointed!

  10. farles chew

    Is there not a single attractive woman in a bikini today?! Oh mighty SuperficialWriter, what have we done to offend thee?

  11. UGH

    Three Jersey Shore posts in a row showing chubby girls in bikinis???!

    Sorry, but The Superficial has officially jumped the shark.

  12. victory

    How depressing.

    4 posts in a row about jersey cows in bikinis.

    Did you go off your Prozac today or something?

  13. Sherry

    She really looks like a skank..all the time. From the cheap tacky sunglasses and earrrings, the lovely beast tatoo on her side. And those breasts. They look bigger then before and why oh why would you get them so they look so unnatural looking?

  14. stupidass

    nothin’ cool about these dumb ugly broads

  15. beep beep

    If I wanted to see fat chicks, I’d go to Walmart or KFC. This site has been sucking a big floppy donkey dick as of late.

  16. J-Meh = FishFAIL. Bad form, friend.

  17. chuck

    What the fuck is your obsession with these dirtbags from this show that no one watches? These girls are some of the most unattractive whores I have ever seen.
    I don’t even think Jesse James would fuck em. I agree you have jumped the shark

  18. your mom

    are you gang banging these girls or what??? WHY THE FUCK do you keep posting pics of them????

    YOU SUCK – that is until you post something worth looking at.

    good day

  19. vicky

    I think she has a pretty face and nice body.. but i’m not digging the big pink earrings and sunglasses..it just looks cheap

  20. guy rossi

    i didnt know bret Hart had a trampy daughter

  21. Beeotch

    Hello, JWhatever……this is 1980 calling and we want our earrings back!!! please and thank you!!!

  22. Mungbean

    She’s right on the edge of being fat.

  23. Azrael

    how many times can you post about NJ seacows that somehow made it back into the water and got to Miami? My only guess’ are you have a fat ‘n ugly fetish, or MTV is paying you to show their jersey cows. either way… FAIL!

  24. TS

    Why the hell would you keep referring her by that stupid name JWoww? At least call her by whatever her real name is. Quit encouraging this greasball, skanky, fist pumping, smoker douchebag.

  25. TS

    Why the hell would you keep referring her by that stupid name JWoww? At least call her by whatever her real name is. Quit encouraging this greasball, skanky, fist pumping, smoker douchebag.

  26. grizzly bear

    I miss the Superficial site circa 2007 and 2008. The writer used to be so funny then. I don’t know if s/he quit the job or what, but FUCK DAMN. Four consecutive posts of ugly stupid fat whores on a show that no one apparently watches? You must be on serious meds or something, because your thoughts are clearly taking long medicated journeys through Planet WTF.

  27. Pass

    This chick is absolutely nothing but a pair of fake tits. Ugly face, ugly personality, tree trunk legs, thunder thighs, fat ass. If not for her silicone titty bags, she’d be 100% disgusting…

  28. bar room hero

    what a cooze…

  29. Gigi

    There is something not quite right about having a Christian cross as your belly button piercing.

  30. JuliusPeckers

    FISHWriter,

    You do know that April Fools is on the 1st day of the month, right?

    WTF is up with all the Jersey Whores?

  31. armpit vigina

    Check out the main photo – Now draw a box around her armpit.

  32. grizzly bear

    By the way, Fish, where is the survey that you promised us about a month ago, in regards to the ways that your audience can help you improve this site? Remember how the initial link to your survey was broken and would kick everyone out who tried to provide you with honest feedback? Ironically, the broken link demonstrated how poor in quality this site has actually become. You apparently never got around to fixing the broken link because I frankly think you never really cared to hear our suggestions at all in the first place. Your loss. You also might want to take notes from the Dlisted writer who is actually funny, since you’ve clearly lost your mojo along the way somewhere.

  33. Captain_Insano

    JESUS FUCKING CHRIST SUPERFICIAL. FUCK OFF WITH ALL THE JERSEY SHORE POSTS. YOU ARE WHAT GETS WASTES OF SKIN LIKE THIS FAMOUS YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111

  34. the only opinion that matterse

    Don’t waste my effing time with this shit. Who cares about a bunch of ugly little losers. How much is this site getting paid to post these pics? Media whores.

  35. ing

    fish must be sweatin some jersey puss

  36. Vlad M.

    hell yeah! ti seems that i’not the only one dissatisfied woth the quakity of youre sire as of late!

  37. James

    Ewww… look at those fat armpits and the horrific boobjob….

  38. Attention Whore

    If I wanted to see a fat cow I’d look at my wife……

  39. justifiable

    So which one is going to reach her knees first – her tits or her earlobes?

  40. justifiable

    So which one is going to reach her knees first – her tits or her earlobes?

  41. JN

    These Jersey Shore skanks must be all you “mainstream” entertainment blogs have going for you. Too sad.

  42. Cash

    Do none of these bitches work out? I’ve been to Jersey, they do have gyms there, so what the fuck? If you do it without wrapping a sarong around your fat ass, you have no business walking around in a bikini. Period. JWhore.

  43. Swank

    “ultimately resulting in a lonely middle-aged existence giving BJs with her trach hole.”

    Epic, just epic.

  44. etc

    holy tummy tuck; absolutely no muscle definition yet it appears flat; it looks worse than a normal tummy with some fat on it.

  45. lololololol

    you could’ve covered this “story” with one post but you stretched it out to 4. slow news day?

  46. small asian penis

    It’s so sad when you see pretty girls, go and get ridiculous boob jobs, it dumbs them down. The whole pink glasses, earrings and that bathing suit = white trash.

  47. Sardonic

    Can we get a radical Muslim website to take offense to all NJ reality shows and their cartoon characters and permanently ‘censor’ them for their own safety?

  48. Dank

    I wonder if she knows how fucking retarded those earrings look. I could put my hand through those. No, screw that, i could put my cock through those. Now those are obnoxiously giant!

  49. Woof woof

    New Jersey doesn’t have leash laws?

  50. chuck

    armpit vigina is right That’s the only thing on her body I would fuck

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