‘JWoww Tried To Kill Herself’
Says Ex-Boyfriend (Read: She Didn’t)

May 2nd, 2011 // 40 Comments

Posted by Photo Boy

In what is surely a one, two punch of truth, being that this story is not only reported by Radar but also contains statements made by JWoww‘s jilted ex-lover Tom Lippolis, supposedly the Jersey Shore star tried to kill herself after the first season because she was “upset over how she was portrayed on television.” Heroically, he claims to have come to her rescue by “talking her out of the bathroom”, but not before essentially calling her a whore and then subsequently pointing out that she is a liar. Granted, suicide is not a light subject even if it’s off of the lips of a chinstrap beard-wearing douche, but if this guy was so pissed off at her, couldn’t he have done us all a favor and just given her a little nudge? *knock knock* “Jenni? It’s Tom.. no, no, you didn’t look so bad on the show. I mean, your mother cried for days after she saw you humping a bunch of strangers and pee on a curb, but you know parents can be so old-fashioned.”

Photo: Getty, Splash News, WENN

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  1. It wasn’t until the second season that she peed on the floor of a bar. I can understand how in the first season she was upset about being portrayed as such a prude. Sometimes death is the only answer.

    • Nancy Pelosi

      Someone from the Jersey Shore surfaced. They said the threat level was going up, but I never thought the terrorists would go this far. Let’s just hope Al-Qaida doesn’t unleash Lindsays(TM) of Mass Destruction or a Dirty Bieber. We may have to call on the Delta Force to storm Snookies va-jay-jay to rescue all the juice head guidos held captive.

      Help me find my car keys and I’ll drive you out! Ca-Ching.

  2. Maybe she was upset that she’s 25 and looks 45?

    Is “Ab Cuts” a product she’s endorsing, or was that the retarded method of her attempted suicide?

  3. JWoww Suicide Attempt
    Commented on this photo:

    Is “promoting” a synonym for “looking bored” now?

  4. youcandieNOW

    (Read: the whole damn cast and everyone associated with MTV should)

  5. Is that a carrot in a lepard or what?

  6. The Critical Crassness

    While attempted suicide is a terrible thing….I didn’t know plastics could be killed!

  7. It had to be said

    Put a gag in her mouth, a bag on her head, a condom on, and go to town. ‘Nuff said.

    • JC

      Or kill two birds with one stone by putting one of those leather gimp masks with the zipper over the mouth on her.

  8. JOSH

    maybe she cant stand lugging around those plastic bags of silicone anymore, fake tits SUCK…they arent even boobs, they are bags of silicone!

    • Inmate 12236969

      Agree fake tits suck.

    • Rancid

      Third that. I don’t care if they’re small or sloppy. Make ‘em real or GTFOOH

    • Nancy Pelosi

      You guys are jealous cause your tiny cocks would look even smaller between those giant fun bags. As if any of you “winners” has a frame of reference. You need to see/feel a real boob and a fake boob at least once in your lives to compare. And gropping your cousin in the coatroom at your grandparents golden anniversary party at the Moose lodge doesn’t count. Err…maybe it does.

  9. eww

    Gross, Photoboy. Please no more posts from this guy. Pictures sure.

    How about a fucking funny woman as guest commentator.

  10. yeah...

    I know someone related to her who has told me “Tom just wants to be in the spotlight, he’s pathetic.” So yeah basically he’s getting what he wants by all the gossip sites talking about it.

  11. Neen

    WHY DID HE STOP HER!!??!

  12. That explains the gravelly voice.

  13. This crap reminds me when I was little and threw temper tantrums & locked myself in my bathroom for attention too. Except my parents called my bluff & let me sit there for hours. I was mad I didn’t bring a book bc not killing yourself gets boring after 10 mins. So I read shampoo bottle ingredients. Then dinner came; it was spaghetti. I liked spaghetti. So I put off not killing myself til the next day when it was something gross like meatloaf & I wouldn’t miss it…The point of my story is that it was damn pathetic when I was 7, & it’s even more pathethic when she’s 25, getting paid thousands to be the exact same skank she was before MTV rolled around.

  14. JWoww Suicide Attempt
    dailychicken
    Commented on this photo:

    forget about the alleged wish to commit suicide…what the hell is going on with her makeup here? Is she going for the Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer look or something???

  15. LA Juice

    man she can’t stop itching, even for the cameras! Crabs are nothing to take lightly, lesson LEARNED!

  16. You know this story is a lie because it implies that a member of The Jersey Shore has the capacity to feel shame.

  17. cc

    Hasn’t she posed nude yet? That’s next right?

  18. spookyfish

    How in the hell is it possible to have three different skin shades?

  19. Shari

    I cannot believe just how mean and inconsiderate everyone is. She is still a person. Cyber bullying regardless of age. Have your parents not taught you anything? How can someone say………. Should have let her do it? Knowing if you were there like MOST individuals you would have stopped it yourself! Grow up people…..words do hurt. But when they hurt so much to the point of a break down then you try to tear them down further. Why kick someone when they are down!

    • Uncle Caw-yin

      Their entire show revolves around ostracizing and polarizing those who don’t have the same money or looks they do.

      She and the others revel in hurting and mocking others.

  20. the captain

    ………I CAN HELP NEXT TIME?
    (it would be my pleasure)

  21. keijo

    She’s so HOT!! So plz tell what’s wrong with me.

  22. Donald Trump

    Someone needs to put a pillow over this girls face. She’s ugly. And those boobs are a nightmare! While you’re at it – put her surgeon out of his misery too.

  23. Amanda

    She needs to remember that the phrase “just spray it on my tits” does not work at the spray tan salon like it does everywhere else.

  24. George Mills

    the best j-woww storry is at http://www.ripashot.com/?page_id=44 >>>every bf she has had says she out of her mind.

  25. JWoww Suicide Attempt
    647-PARKER ECKMAN
    Commented on this photo:

    Commiting sucide isn’t wise, JWoww fans=highly-stress thing, but many end up let go and move on.

  26. torque

    Keep trying baby!! You’ll get it right eventually.

  27. 647-PARKER ECKMAN

    I don’t believe that, trying to committing sucide, NOT wise.

  28. JWoww Suicide Attempt
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks good in this pic

  29. JWoww Suicide Attempt
    Commented on this photo:

    pretty girl

  30. for some reason i believe this. well, thats sad i like jwow she’s my fav on the show.

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