JWoww’s Pregnant If Anyone Gives A Shit

December 27th, 2013 // 19 Comments

On an episode of Jersey Shore, JWoww‘s fiance Roger Matthews once shoved her to the ground during a drunken night out, so it’ll probably warm your Christmas heart to know that they’re having a baby! Hurray! Because if there’s one thing having kids does it’s make every single moment of every single day relaxing and non-conducive to violence. It’s like having a stress ball fall out of your vagina.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto


  1. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that all infants be breastfed for at least six mon….but…what…the mother has had what done to them…you have a picture?….oh no….FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T GET THOSE THINGS ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR BABY!

  2. JC

    “On an episode of Jersey Shore, x once/twice/often assaulted y during a drunken night out, where x and y are any two people ever appearing on that show…”

    Fixed it.

  3. Crb

    Before I got over my dyslexia, I thought she was standing in front of a sign that said ducksack.com.

  4. Jennifer Lawrence's Butt Plug Collection

    Ha ha! Fish! That’s so funny! How can a sack of plastic and herpes give birth?!?
    Wait, Snookie did it,

    Shit we’re doomed.

  5. Can we stop calling this train wreck JWoww and call her by her proper name, JWTF?

    • Jennifer Lawrence's Butt Plug Collection

      J Bow-Wow has its charms. We always though the “D” in Pauly D stood for “Douchebag
      Also, calling the other tool “The Revolting Development” seemed right. Is he doing gay porn yet?

  6. To be fair, the news is more “she’s keeping this one” than “she’s pregnant”. I’m sure her Planned Parenthood punchcard is pretty close to getting a free one.

  7. I don’t give a shit.

  8. JWoww Side Boob Dusk Night Club
    Commented on this photo:

    The baby is going to get silicon poisoning.

  9. uglynfatashell

    Will be one ugly ass baby!

  10. JWoww Side Boob Dusk Night Club
    Interred Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    If whatever falls out of her J-Hole is somehow able to mate with the demon offspring of Snookie, and produces something that can exist outside the womb, Earth will be left in tiny shards within days. Nostradamus is crapping/doing backflips in his grave for missing this one………

  11. mt

    On top of being an STD peitri dish, this pig is a chain smoker too.
    I wonder if she has any idea who shacked her up?

  12. JWoww Side Boob Dusk Night Club
    Fancy Face
    Commented on this photo:

    This post brought to you by JWoww’s impressive looking implant scar. That thing is so big it’s getting its own reality spin off.

    • mt

      You know you’ve purchased a really high quality breast implant,
      when there is a hard, almost rectangular bump next to the scar.
      What did they use, zip lock bags?

  13. JWoww Side Boob Dusk Night Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she just need to take a bath and scrub,
    or is that a tattoo of a flaming sperm on her gut,
    shooting through bacteria and STDs into the hole.
    Perhaps it’s a visual aid for her partner?

  14. JWoww Side Boob Dusk Night Club
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s right kids, when the lice and STDs get so bad you can’t
    grow hair any longer, you have it sewn on. Goes with the rest of
    the whole “I got ready in 60 seconds” Jersey look.

  15. JWoww Side Boob Dusk Night Club
    Commented on this photo:

    She has bigger forearms and shoulders than most guys.
    Add to that an expressionless face and skanky skin art.
    At least she matched her lipstick to her belt.

  16. cc

    This should make ‘Rosemary’s Baby’ look like a rom-com.

  17. JWoww Side Boob Dusk Night Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Her closed mouth “smile” is fucking annoying. She must hate her smile.

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