JWoww Models Bikinis Now

December 22nd, 2011 // 83 Comments

Here’s JWoww modeling her new bikini line “JWoww by Perfect Tan Bikini,” and whoever airbrushed these deserves the goddamn Nobel Prize because this is way better work than her Maxim cover and Lindsay’s Playboy spread. Instead of recoiling in horror/immediately scheduling an appointment to have my urethra swabbed, I actually looked at these and went, “Wow, there’s an attractive woman I’d enjoy having intercourse with.” Which is really the whole reason Photoshop was invented, wasn’t it? “While these photographs are satisfactory, what if we could turn them into blemish-free automatons that give people boners?” I believe were Benjamin Franklin’s words. That or, “Note to self: Do NOT attach kite and key to genitals. Prior calculations were incorrect.”

Photos: JWOWW by PerfectTanBikini/Splash News


  1. RONCO

    She looked so bad in Maxim. It was astounding how bad she looked.

  2. Satan's bitch

    At the risk of sounding like Fish’s grandmother: That’s not a bikini you wear into the water.

    Let me know when they invent a Photoshop program that follows you around in real life, airbrushing everyone’s eyes.

  3. karlito

    see looks like a biker chick that’s been passed around from guy to guy in the gang. she’s not a looker…very cheap. $10 BJ in the back alley type.

  4. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, that just isn’t going to work, guys.

  5. karlito

    hey Stephanie Harper get lost with your scam internet cash maker.

  6. celebutard

    The only flaw Photoshop cannot remove? Skank.

  7. Taylor Swift's Tampon String

    I have an odd feeling that her twat reeks of an old leather baseball mitt

  8. JWoww Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Computers can fix anything.

  9. Jim Bob

    Jessica Rabbit looks good as a brunette.

  10. Cleavon Little

    Excuse me miss, you forgot to wash some shit off your left side…

  11. Weirdo

    I don’t care what you guys say. I’d snack on her crack,front to back! I’d eat her ass with a spoon!

    • dah

      Thank you for weighing in on behalf of degenerate perverts with no taste and presumably poor vision

    • CranAppleSnapple

      I remember that poem. The little dog laughed at some point, right?

    • “On behalf of degenerate perverts with no taste and presumably poor vision”, I don’t remember her looking this good in the past. Weirdo, if you eat her crack and get a mouthful of hair then it’s because you’re licking the back of my head.

      “The little dog laughed to see such sport and frightened Miss Muffett away.”

  12. EricLr

    I’ll bet the wardrobe guy was like “No….we won’t need those back…you just go ahead and keep them.”

  13. Deacon Jones

    My girlf…., wife (still getting used to that) has to photoshop models as part of her job for two makeup companies, the before/after pics are insane! She puts them side by side and I laugh my ass off, all these women are so fake anymore its not even funny.

    Biggest culprit in the unedited bikini/underwear shots? The cameltoe, followed by moles.

  14. Venom

    Didn’t someone invent a program that shows what parts of photographs are Photoshopped? I would love to see these photos run through it. They are probably 80% shopped.

  15. JWoww Bikini
    little turtle head
    Commented on this photo:


  16. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Not photoshoped at all!

  17. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    That looks rill!!!

  18. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    The body is good enough to distract from the face.

  19. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup, that body is defeinately good enough to let that face be ignored.

  20. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    A truck driver in a bikini…whodathunkit?

  21. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She was the perfect choice for modeling this line because her boobs are naturally sticky.

  22. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Most women would need to apply a non-toxic contact adhesive to keep this top on, but not JWoww. A light misting with water re-activates her patina layers of spray tan, vomit, semen, and acne makeup, which produces one of the most powerful adhesives known to man.

  23. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    True story: The ShamWOW was actually named after her, having been developed when all other absorbent sheets proved unable to soak up even a mild Thursday nights worth of fluids off her body.

  24. Are you sure she isn’t opening a Bob’s Big Boy?

  25. Jaba


    You sold your soul, you cunt.

  26. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like she had a tummy tuck, that belly button is thatof a tummy tuck.

    • cp3

      The problem here is they over-airbrushed her belly then had to draw the belly-button back on, too small and too low. I agree. Looks totally wierd.

  27. cc

    These are as close to real pics of JWow as The Hobbit is to documentary film-making.

  28. Bah, Humbug!

    I would totally do her!

  29. At first, I thought these were not too bad, then I realized I was on the slippery slope to beating off to Jasmine from “Aladdin.”

  30. JWoww Bikini
    68-Shane Sewell
    Commented on this photo:

    Glad no photoshop, past recent years, photoshop has been big job issue with inexperienced guys.

  31. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Could that photo BE any more Photoshopped? Sheesh!

  32. r

    wheres her belly button gone?

  33. awhitedude

    How are those tops staying on?

  34. TheListener

    She looks great in a bikini, but I hate it when a pretty girl has a tattoo. It’s like scribbling on a beautiful work of art.

  35. Jackie

    Either her surgeon or her photoshopper needs to take an anatomy class ’cause I don’t think her bellybutton has ever appeared in the right spot.

  36. AnnaDraconida

    Her entire midsection looks computer generated. FAIL.

  37. Tattoos are just plain trashy.

  38. Ruby

    And her bottom half.. the photoshops given her the exact proportions of that genie from aladdin. http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100524195607/disney/images/a/a7/Aladdin_genie.jpg Theres always been talk of disney promoting unhealthy body image to vulnerable young women but this was a totally unexpected animated beauty icon. yay for photoshop i guess.

  39. ME

    She looks hot.

  40. What a WHORE

    Ugh; busted ugly face, ginormous fake bolt on titties. If she didn’t have those artificial funbags, no one would pay any attention to her…

  41. wee/man :o))

    While staring intently at her in all the photos. My little jimmy is still hanging to the floor.

  42. karrots

    skanky bikinis for a skank…

  43. forrest gump

    being slim in america means alot to your account……….

  44. Bee Bee

    Lol @ the bellybutton

  45. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, C’MON. This is more fake than Octomom’s Photoshopped ass.

  46. James

    She resembles one of the L.A. plastic surgery monsters from ‘Escape from L.A.’

  47. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:


  48. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    McFeely, you never disappoint.

  49. JWoww Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Just say NO to fakes tits.

  50. ThighHighs

    She needs to do something about her face.

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