Goddammit, Rocky, Your Mom Cher Said Not To Leave The House

August 19th, 2014 // 38 Comments

I would’ve also accepted, “Wait, where’s his little red tricycle?” which was Photo Boy’s contribution:

Billy The Puppet Saw

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photo: Splash News

superficial

  1. Not even 30 yet, and she has to walk around wearing that monstrous mask the rest of her life…

  2. Rasputin's Evil Twin

    Who is this? Besides someone that can give us nightmares?

  3. JWoww Plastic Surgery Face
    brick
    Commented on this photo:

    List of redeeming qualities:
    1. She’s not on TV anymore
    2. Her purse could be worse, I guess
    3. umm ?

  4. JWoww Plastic Surgery Face
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    I think we all know that Don Zaloog still would.

  5. JWoww Plastic Surgery Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Wayne Newton looks so weird without a mustache.

  6. JWoww Plastic Surgery Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like one of those Conan O’Brien Celebrity Face Mash-ups between Cher and Sylvester Stallone.

  7. Not So Sure I agree dare, Fish

    Monsters aren’t real…monsters aren’t real….monsters aren’t real..monster’s aren’t real…monsters aren’t real…monsters aren’t real…

  8. Fish, this might be the funniest headline in the history of the Internet. You’re a national — nay — an INTERnational treasure. Never die or go away.

  9. it had to be said

    Awesome headline, although probably funnier for the older end of your audience . . .

  10. Derek Zoolander

    Huh. JWoww is now JWhoa

  11. Cock Dr

    Are those mismatched hair extensions or did she do her own hair coloring while tripping on acid?
    I think the J-Wow glory days of paid club & party appearances may now be over. When the Snookie is looking way hotter than you it’s time to retire.

  12. GwynethPaltrowsSenseofEntitlement

    We have GOT to get this girl and Mickey Rourke together. Wouldn’t they just be the CUTEST couple?

  13. JWoww Plastic Surgery Face
    derp
    Commented on this photo:

    This chick is fucking horrifying. I’ll never stop being amazed at how many women would rather look disfigured than old.

  14. This is less ‘hitting the wall’ than ‘plowing face-first through a ten-foot barrier made of radioactive potatoes’.

  15. Guest

    I thought that was her pregnancy face, but It’s stuck that way? Oh my.

  16. ever see video of that fat asian kid they claimed was magnetic because stuff would stick to him, and you were pretty sure he was just sticky. J-Woww looks like you could stick a refrigerator to her face.

  17. JWoww Plastic Surgery Face
    Commented on this photo:

    More like J-Whoa.

  18. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    Holy Fuck. Some women just shouldn’t have children.

  19. Stinky

    “Heidi, you must give me the name of your plastic surgeon.”

  20. Don Draper's Dad

    Don’t worry, Mr. Simms. I look weird, but otherwise I’m real normal. Everything’ll be cool.

  21. Cletus

    Wow… somebody beat her with an uglier stick.

  22. JWoww Plastic Surgery Face
    RichPort
    Commented on this photo:

    Lil Kim needs to ease up on the Whitenicious… she’s starting to look like that Jersey Shore chick.

  23. JWoww Plastic Surgery Face
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh dat Paddlefoot, he funny silly dog. He thinks totem pole alive!”

  24. JWoww Plastic Surgery Face
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s morphing into Jocelyn Wildenstein.

  25. Jess L

    oh, no, I’m speechless, way too much plastic surgery. She looks freakish and scary

  26. So what happens if you were to just accidentally glance into the Ark of the Covenant?

  27. anonymous

    First, I don’t think JWoww is an applicable moniker for her unless wowing about how different she looks. And second, no way this chick is in her late twenties–ore like late 30′s or 40′s.

  28. JWoww Plastic Surgery Face
    Darkwing duck
    Commented on this photo:

    Buzz, your girlfriend….WOOF!

  29. JWoww Plastic Surgery Face
    Jagul
    Commented on this photo:

    Jocelyn Wildenstein has found a Lazarus Pit. May god have mercy on us all.

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