JWoww’s New Face is Breathtaking

August 29th, 2011 // 128 Comments

What you’re looking at is JWoww hosting at PURE Nightclub on Friday with her new face that she wants people to believe is simply the result of routine weight loss through diet and exercise and not plastic surgery which is an interesting thing for someone whose thighs I could live off of for the winter to say. I’m not saying she’s lying (I am. I specifically am.), but I’m also not saying that cutting out a few carbs will immediately cause your face to get sucked into your skull like a malnourished third world orphan. If the human body worked like that, my nose would be pointing out the back of my head every time I’m trapped on a flight that only serves chicken salad. Which, for the record, is how airlines get around having to serve a meal while technically still offering one. “Chicken salad, you say? Interesting. Here’s my proposition: How ’bout I sit here and lick the bottom of my shoe, and you alert the rest of the flight staff that I’m not a goddamn terrorist so they don’t freak out? Then we all win.”

Photo: Fame, INFdaily, RETNA, Splash News

superficial

  1. I don’t know, can’t see a difference between the stupid look yesterday and the one from today.

    • Jillia

      Yea I’m not sure I see it either. She says her face looks different because she lost a bunch of weight, which is actually totally plausible. I’m like that were if I lose weight, it’s noticeable in my face. Some people it affects, some people it doesn’t.

  2. Chupacabra

    I thought she got a nose job for sure some time ago…

  3. Dan

    Her face used to be kind of cute. It now looks like she had to go into reconstructive surgery or something.

    Maybe she just botoxed the hell out of it. She was getting lines from her hard lifestyle – but that is the charm of those kinds of women because you know they are the ride em hard put em away wet types, for it is foretold.

  4. Rough rocks steady

    Can you put a star on her armpit? People around me will think I got the fou-bouef disease going around.

  5. poopsmith

    gross

  6. it had to be said

    I guess she got the artificially aged special. Worked like a charm.

  7. stratacat

    Jesus, Fish, get a fucking copy editor. This post is barely readable.

  8. Next up – vaginal rejuvenation for her sagging armpit clit.

  9. jen

    I think she looks good for a 40 year old.

    • Olsen

      No I think she looks horrid for a 40-year old. Or maybe 60-year old. But she claims to have been born 1986…

  10. terry

    Can you imagine waking up next to that shit?

  11. It’s PUR, like the hommies say in Vegas.

  12. Poison Ivy League

    Someone get that memaw her smokes and a penis colada then leave her the hell alone so she can watch her stories in quiet.

  13. DogBoy

    Apparently, the Pure Nightclub went for the “One facial expression, all night” price.

  14. JWoww Plastic Surgery
    My Left Nut
    Commented on this photo:

    I can hear the cracking noise from here!

  15. David Berkowitz

    Face got smaller , boobs stayed the same … Time to call in Sherlock Holmes !

  16. JWoww Plastic Surgery
    My Left Nut
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, we went to the same implant doctor!!

  17. Mohammed in a bikini

    Face?

  18. little turtle head

    Flawless face…

  19. boing

    shes like a greasy cabbage patch doll

  20. she’s cute either way but she really lives up to her name when standing next to her other cast members.

  21. her new mouth sucks. i mean like double literally now

  22. right

    I’m not sure which is worse. The way she looks, or the way the article was written.

  23. right

    Who’s the mental case in pic 2. Those tats look hideous.

    • Big Balls

      That BIG GIRL standing next to JWoww, with tattoos, is her identical twin sister! Believe me. JWoww didn’t see a surgeon and JAY LENO doesn’t wear a WIG!!! Get my point? Her cheeks raised to the ceiling, which left gobs & gobs of hollowness when the hag smiles, with wrinkles like JOAN RIVERS’, forehead stretched back, etc… etc… I could carry on but WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT SKANKS LIKE HER??? And to protect her from drowning in a pool, those FUN-BAGS, which she probably stole from Dolly Parton, would keep her afloat

  24. Deacon Jones

    SHe looks like she botoxed her upper lip, it doesnt smile with the rest of her face…..kind of like when you have some really, really good cocaine. memories..

  25. Clarence Beeks

    Another one who LIES about the work they had done on their face. people, we ARE NOT BLIND. Don’t even bother lying. Assholes.

  26. More like JWoww After Dentist.

  27. Richard McBeef

    She kinda reminds me Jenna Jameson, except Jenna never did anal in film.

  28. JWoww Plastic Surgery
    Throw Up
    Commented on this photo:

    LeatherFace!

  29. JWoww Plastic Surgery
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s got the dead, soulless eyes of an old whore

  30. cc

    What do her grandkids think about it?

  31. Rough rocks steady

    At least put a star on it for the “children”.

  32. cheelydawg

    Plastic surgery to have a permanent duckface should be banned in all 50 states.

  33. JWoww Plastic Surgery
    Robin
    Commented on this photo:

    I forget which movie it is but it reminds me of that line “Am I smiling?I can’t feel my face”. Botox much???? Good lord.

  34. JWoww Plastic Surgery
    Robin
    Commented on this photo:

    She doesn’t look anything like she did before, which is too bad bc she was a pretty girl. A little rough, but still atleast normal looking. Now I don’t think she can be near an open flame.

  35. JWoww Plastic Surgery
    Robin
    Commented on this photo:

    Her rack looks great though, a lot better than Lee Ann (Crypt Keeper) Rimes.

  36. Tristyn

    Who is she ? A new up and coming porn star..(pun intended)

  37. Brooke Rochon

    Who knew Mickey Rourke’s face had a love child.

  38. Bigslim

    Oh wow, just looked at her face for the first time

  39. Sheppy

    Permanent duck-face, yeah!

  40. rican

    Jmeh

  41. JWoww Plastic Surgery
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    don’t smile, it will crack.

  42. Misana

    what operation would have sucked her face in like that? serious question.

  43. mel

    looks like vomit took a shit.

  44. Racer X

    FUGLY!

  45. Venom

    She used to be semi decent looking.
    Now she just looks fucked up and dead inside.

    • Olsen

      hahaha she NEVER looked semidecent. I remember when I saw the very first episode of Jersey Shore, the very first season. Saw this 60year old street hooker, with hairextensions taped on by herself at the toilet 5 min before shoot, sounding like a homeless old crack addict. And wondered what the hell was she doing in a reality show about YOUNG italian-americans. Who did she threaten to rape to get that part???

  46. duder

    So, like, did she accidentally force strangle her true and doubly-pregnant love, only to have both her legs cut off by her mentor and be burned alive, finally awakening as a mangled plastic monstrosity who screams “NOOOOOO!” in James Earl Jones’ voice as she breaks loose from her operating table bonds…and then goes on to host at PURE? Or what?

  47. Ugh

    I’ll bet most people on here would love to look this good when they hit the big Five-Oh, too!

    What?
    Oh….

    Ew.

  48. JWoww Plastic Surgery
    rtq
    Commented on this photo:

    Botox at it’s best.

  49. What a retard

    FAKE TITS. And a ghastly ducklips face. Ugh…

  50. Do Freebird

    J-Woww truly took my breath away. It’s just impossible to breathe when you have the dry heaves

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