JWoww Is The Future Of Cleavage

October 20th, 2011 // 63 Comments

If you’re thinking this is JWoww getting a jump on Halloween as Slutty Robocop, she’s actually being paid to be SVEDKA_GRL the new “spokes_bot” for SVEDKA Vodka because apparently it’s the brand that truly understands the positives of alcohol induced time travel. For example, thanks to this post I now know to stockpile penicillin and start learning how to have sex with a tucked penis after the robo-trannies win the Great Vagina War of 2036. On that note, someone alert John Connor that puppies are their weakness. Repeat. Puppies are their weakness. Also, don’t send someone back to bang my mom. Shit’s creepy.

Photos: Michael Simon/StarTraks


  1. zzzzz…. japanese chicks do this soooo much better

  2. Do_FreeBird

    She has a perpetual, stupid, moronic look on her face, and she probably has an underlying, not very pleasant smell, but I would still fuck her until her ears bled.

  3. Richard McBeef

    That’s pretty well done photography considering they only had a few minutes between Jwoww donning the suit and the crotch decaying and falling out.

  4. …And the poster child for broken faces. No biggie, a Hefty Steel Sack should do the trick.

  5. it had to be said

    Give credit where it is due. Some surgeon put nice tits on this broad.

  6. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    Are we really supposed to be noticing the vodka in these pictures? Because all I can think of is milk. (Maybe if they had some Kahlúa…)

  7. Frank Burns

    Oh, I get it. Svedka’s motto is “New Svedka anti-bacterial vodka: Pour it down her throat for easy sex, then pour it on your crotch afters to keep the cooties away”.

    • it had to be said

      Actually, disinfecting her throat first will keep you from infection and her from pregnancy . . .

  8. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    Awww! Look at him mugging for the camera! Who says pets don’t take after their owners?

  9. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    hopefully she’ll be able to capitalize on her 15 minutes a little better then the other fucksticks, looks like she’s doing a great job so far

  10. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    King Billy
    Commented on this photo:

    I certainly would smash her back doors in!

  11. Coyote

    I now know to never drink SVEDKA Vodka; no matter what.

  12. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Randolph Duke
    Commented on this photo:

    i’d like to stroke her pussy. with a rubber glove on, of course….

  13. JC

    I don’t know about the future of cleavage, but she’s still in the running to be patient zero for the Jersey Shore-created super-STD of the future.

  14. sc4play

    You can’t deny the titty fairies (or doctors in this case) were good to this girl.

  15. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    Puppy does not look pleased, but it willing to do his duty for the sake of humanity.

  16. Titty Fairy

    6.02×10^23 times hotter than any of the other broads on that godforsaken shit show.

  17. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    In every photo like this, there is a fluffy white dog (or two) saying it all with their eyes…..

  18. Deacon Jones

    Barring the fact she’s from Jersey SHore, if she was some random chick that walked into a Halloween party, every guy in the place would be fawning over her.

    And every girl in the place would be simultaneously frowning / looking hatingly at their boyfriend.

  19. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    How much spackle did it take to fill in that cameltoe? I remember just this summer, when I rode a burro down into it and took a group of underprivileged children white water rafting in her uterus.

  20. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    I love pic 8…a split second before leg humping commenced.

  21. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    The ads work. After looking at this nasty skank, I need a drink.

  22. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    shes not even sexy at all, shes like 40 pretending to be 23

  23. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait a sec… you’re saying it was HOW long????? I don’t see how it’s possible.

  24. bonerfest2011

    this chick is my guilty pleasure
    i apologize for nothing

  25. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Guy Smiley
    Commented on this photo:

    the future of cleavage is fake and used by many?! kill me now, then

  26. Judge Hershey


  27. boing

    “here, drink this — ill look much better after a few”

  28. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Snooki's Taint
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t I see this scene in Boardwalk Empire where Nucky’s girlfriend got naked in front of Nucky’s other girlfriend?

  29. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Snooki's Taint
    Commented on this photo:

    Cute dog. Fugly pussy.

  30. Is Svedka vodka what’s making her skin look like an old saddle?

  31. Venom

    She used to look pretty good and now her face just looks fucked up and she looks empty and dead inside.

    • karlito

      always thought she was ugly from the beggining because she’s a classless moron but she’s even uglier because of the botched up plastic surgery. they’re all ugly and stupid. drop this dumbass show and stop dumbing down America.

  32. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    You think she blew her manager for this job? I mean she’s wearing a bad cosplay costume, has a sucker in her yap, some dollar store hollowe’en decorations, vodka no one gives a fuck about and seems to be posing in some guy’s basement while his fat sister, who still has her cherry at 33, pretends to be his assistant. If they’re cannibals, someone better warn them not to eat the white meat, it’s full of chemicals.

  33. Hugh Johnson

    I’d pound her into a fine red powder, and then snort the powder.

  34. JWowwCop: “Clarence Boddicker, you are under arrest. You have the right to remain silent…”
    Red Foreman: “I work for Dick Jones!”

  35. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:


  36. Admiral Hackbar

    She has that look like someone literally fucked her brains out.

  37. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to leave her face alone- starting to look like Octomom!!

  38. Carlton Banks

    Nope, I’d hit that.

  39. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    We’re gonna need a bigger boat

  40. Who me?

    Someone has already had some lip injections and something injected into her face… It’s all down hill for her now!!

  41. Fish Monger

    She looks vapid because the botox paralyzed her facial expressions such as between the eyebrows and around eyes to stop squinting crow’s feet when she smiles & to stop the knitting of eyebrows, plus looks like filler injected in laugh lines, she’s a pin cushion face with a raspy old barmaid voice.

  42. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    She kind of looks like a Tron Rape Baby.

  43. Luty

    I love her. She is my personal hero.

  44. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    Is her leg bending backwards?

  45. frankie

    if she were some random chick at a club I would def hit that… her tits are amazing..

  46. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Pippy Longcockings
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet she could fit both those dogs up her snatch.

  47. Haters gonna hate but she’s hot !!!!

  48. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s admitted to the boob job, now she needs to admit to the face lift. She’s cleaaarly had work done on that face of hers.

  49. JWoww Boobs Cleavage Svedka
    Commented on this photo:

    You too, can now smell like cunt.

Leave A Comment