Justin Bieber’s Mom Thinks He’s Jesus. No, Really.

I’m going to be honest here. As much as I joke about Justin Bieber, I really didn’t think he was much more than just some kid shoved into the pop star machine and might actually be alright if you got a chance to talk to him. Then I read his Vanity Fair interview and realized this kid is going to explode all over our faces which is literally the only way to transition to a quote about Michael Jackson. I Googled it:

- “Michael [Jackson] was able to reach audiences from young to old; he never limited himself. He was so broad, everybody loved him, and that’s what my goal is.”
– “Not trying to be arrogant, but if I walked down the street and a girl saw me, she might take a look back because maybe I’m good-looking, right?”
– “For younger guys, it’s like [they think] they’re not cool if they come to my concert. That’ll [change], I think; it’ll happen, maybe when I’m 18. But meanwhile all their girlfriends are coming to watch me.”

If that’s not bad enough, check out what his mom Pattie Lynn Mallette has to say about her little angel, sent from above to cleanse us of our sins:

Mallette also tells Robinson that, after a personal encounter with God, she believes that she and Justin have been put on earth to bring light and inspiration to the world. But Mallette is wary of show business and its potential consequences: “We don’t have yes-men around him. I don’t want him being a diva.”

We don’t want him “being a diva.” Right, because telling a kid he’s the fucking Messiah is way more grounded. Let’s not spoil him with free iPads, but make sure he knows the creator of the entire universe sent him here to bring joy to us little people and our small, insignificant lives. That should end well.

PATTIE: Why are you killing all these people in the basement?!
JUSTIN: Duh, mom, Revelations. Sheesh.

Photos: Splash News