Justin Bieber’s Mom Thinks He’s Jesus. No, Really.

January 4th, 2011 // 97 Comments

I’m going to be honest here. As much as I joke about Justin Bieber, I really didn’t think he was much more than just some kid shoved into the pop star machine and might actually be alright if you got a chance to talk to him. Then I read his Vanity Fair interview and realized this kid is going to explode all over our faces which is literally the only way to transition to a quote about Michael Jackson. I Googled it:

- “Michael [Jackson] was able to reach audiences from young to old; he never limited himself. He was so broad, everybody loved him, and that’s what my goal is.”
- “Not trying to be arrogant, but if I walked down the street and a girl saw me, she might take a look back because maybe I’m good-looking, right?”
- “For younger guys, it’s like [they think] they’re not cool if they come to my concert. That’ll [change], I think; it’ll happen, maybe when I’m 18. But meanwhile all their girlfriends are coming to watch me.”

If that’s not bad enough, check out what his mom Pattie Lynn Mallette has to say about her little angel, sent from above to cleanse us of our sins:

Mallette also tells Robinson that, after a personal encounter with God, she believes that she and Justin have been put on earth to bring light and inspiration to the world. But Mallette is wary of show business and its potential consequences: “We don’t have yes-men around him. I don’t want him being a diva.”

We don’t want him “being a diva.” Right, because telling a kid he’s the fucking Messiah is way more grounded. Let’s not spoil him with free iPads, but make sure he knows the creator of the entire universe sent him here to bring joy to us little people and our small, insignificant lives. That should end well.

PATTIE: Why are you killing all these people in the basement?!
JUSTIN: Duh, mom, Revelations. Sheesh.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Mama Pinkus

    LOL, he thinks guys will dig him when he turns 18? Holy shit.

  2. uncle bill

    BeeWeeBieber didn’t met the C*CKS of west hollywood?

  3. Kerri

    honest to god – i have NEVER heard him sing. i am from toronto and you’d think i would be proud of this home grown kid…i am horrified. if i saw him at a mall…i would trip him. so embarrassed, sorry everyone for what we have ‘created’.

  4. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you think he even knows what those things on his neck and face are?

  5. What a corporate manufactured tool. I hope his mom didn’t have to redo those kiss marks too many times during the shoot.

  6. I so utterly, completely hope he turns 18, brushes his hair back like a normal human being, clears his voice, and then goes on to star in and make the brutal metal soundtrack to a movie about a sadistic, psychopathic killer who tortures and disembowels young girls before fucking their headless corpses while nomming on their uterii.

    That would *so* make my day.

  7. Tougher than the losers above my name

    I normally agree w this stuff…i only check it cause I wanna see hot chicks in bthin suits, but really guys???? He’s livin the life we all want…I work at a medium small sized bar outside Barrington and I get laid all the time..not cause I’m great looking but b/c I’m a big fish in a small sea…the worlds his sea at a young age…don’t hate him for it…hes in front of a camera at an age when we were poppin zits and cryin to :g’f's” on the phone, even though we couldn’t drive yet….I think his music sucks, i am 24 though, but he’s doin what every guy wants and hes not legal yet…..good for him….TMZ, he’s accomplishing what every middle 20s guy wants, and thats being lusted buy every female around…he’s doin a good job from all accounts lets let him rock

  8. Yu Lee

    PROOF that Justin Bieber is the MESSIAH

    1. Friendly to all regardless of color, race, religion. Greets with a warm hug
    2. Upbeat, positive, energetic yet cool, calm, controlled
    3. Self-confident, disciplined, rarely gets angry, very mature for his age
    4. Fun loving, joker, prankster
    5. Grateful, says Thank You, a real gentleman
    6. Respects his Mom & his Grandparents
    7. Beliebes & prays to God, never swears
    8. Sings, dances, good at most sports
    9. Never ever arrogant but amazingly modest & humble despite millions of fans on Twitter, Facebook, etc.
    10. Has girls screaming across the globe!

  9. Mickey Mouse


    Where would you be without me, Justin Beaver? Haha. Your music sucks and you know it! Haha. It’s because you make little girls’ ‘ginies tickle! And when little girls’ ‘ginies tickle, I make money! Haha. And that’s because little girls are fucking stupid! Haha.

  10. paco

    i know this joke from before, but it was called “Aron carter” instead.

  11. Ash

    this disturbs the crap out of me; if we dyed my nieces hair brow and darkened her skin, she would look EXACTLY like him…. oh sis, your genes have failed my family T,T

    personally, when i was in my teens, i did love johnny depp, still do- he looks so good for his age! XD

    yeah, my niece was into his music, it burned my ears! i think i actually get upset hearing any of his songs- much like how the word twilight will never be the same… a few moments before that damned stuff showed up twilight meant Zelda: Twilight Princess! and now at this point, with the name justin with automatically go to justin beiber, instead of someone like justin timberlake and such- the guys that look like guys.

    honestly, jesus hasnt brought light and inspiration to me, maybe not for a lot of people too, but using that as a reference as this person’s assumption that jusin beiber would be the next massiah is just jumping the guns too.

    lol, i dont very often follow the celeb news update things (i found this link on a meme base lol) but i think it was on the radio that people were saying that justin beiber can be such a diva, dropping the f-bomb on people for just touching him on the shoulder (i think this happened in a radio station with someone trying to give him the little tour and instructions)

  12. I would like to set the record straight. Justin Bieber’s mom, Patty Lynn Mallette, has never thought or said that her son, Justin, is JESUS CHRIST, the MESSIAH. That is plain ridiculous and an ouright lie. She does believe that she and Justin have been put on earth to bring light and inspiration to the world. That is the TRUTH for all Christians [believers and followers of JESUS CHRIST.]

    In Matthew 5:14-15 (NIV), JESUS CHRIST plainly states, “You [Christians] are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.”

    In Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV), Paul writes, “For it is by grace you [Christians] have been saved, through faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of GOD— not by works, so that no one can boast.”

    Bottom line: Every single Christian, with absolutely no exceptions, is a sinner, saved by the amazing grace of GOD, through HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, JESUS CHRIST, our eternal SAVIOUR and LORD. Peace!!

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