Justin Bieber Wrote A Sizzurp Carol

April 30th, 2014 // 27 Comments
Arrogant Little Shitbag
Justin Bieber Deposition
How The Bailiff Didn't Shoot Him, I'll Never Know Read More »

Posted by Photo Boy

For the past few days I’ve been meaning to run this set of Selena Gomez getting herself drunk enough to revenge bang Orlando Bloom‘s greasy little elf dick, but I kept getting distracted. So, what better time than now, as we celebrate the release of Justin Bieber‘s new song in which he finally professes his love for the purple drank.

but the boys and the girls
they don’t know
what love is like
love is like appreciation
mixed in a double cup of sprite

According to TMZ, he’s long been accused of using sizzurp, but this is the first sort of confirmation. Some others are also linking Justin and Selena’s falling out to their recent interactions with the Jenner spawn, which is all just speculation really, by people (myself included) who should die in a dumpster fire. I can’t imagine how that could be any more tragic than using one more second of human life to contemplate Justin Bieber song lyrics.

Photo: Fame/Flynet, HEDO/AKM-GSI, Splash News

superficial

  1. Selena Gomez Banging Orlando Bloom Chelsea Handler Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Is everyone associated with Chelsea Handler a stinking drunk?

    • Marketing Mike

      It usually happens right after they’ve been on her show.
      God knows what goes on in that Green Room…

  2. Selena Gomez Banging Orlando Bloom Chelsea Handler Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a Sizzurp cup that Selena Gomez is reaching for? And why is she sitting right next to that wino trying to take a crap in the gutter?

  3. Why is Corey Feldman about to give Selena Gomez a Hot Carl?

    • I thought it was corey too. I had to read and look back at the pic to make the connection and I think Bloom is pretty good looking, or was. Even so, he is WAY out of selena’s league. He was with total hotness Miranda Ker. Selena is more like a cute little maid. What is a double cup of Sprite, 2 servings of soft drink? And what is sizzurp?

  4. Selena Gomez Banging Orlando Bloom Chelsea Handler Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Selena. Another douche bag boy friend she’s embarrassed to be seen with.

    • she wishes. Let us be honest, her and beiber are two annoying as hell tards that are not particularly attractive. One is a young lesbian struggling to come out and the other looks like she as 2 burritos hidden in her cheeks. And neither can sing. I think Bloom was wasted and thought selena was the public restroom.

  5. Selena Gomez Banging Orlando Bloom Chelsea Handler Show
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    I always wanted to see a giant toddler puke in the gutter while Corey Feldman danced a jig nearby.

  6. Selena Gomez Banging Orlando Bloom Chelsea Handler Show
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    -”Oh my God…that is just…Oh my God!”
    -”Breathe it in, breathe it in.”

  7. Selena Gomez Banging Orlando Bloom Chelsea Handler Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, the good ol’ hit it and quit it

  8. Selena Gomez Banging Orlando Bloom Chelsea Handler Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Orlando looks more interested in Pauly Shore than Gomez.

  9. Selena Gomez Banging Orlando Bloom Chelsea Handler Show
    Roe
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t see her as attractive she still looks like the chubby round faced sunday school kid

  10. Annette

    Nice

  11. “Love is like appreciation mixed in a double cup of sprite.” Oh, how I thrill to this bard’s magnificent command of language and symbol.

  12. JimBB

    And when the beautiful girl said the magical phrase “I’m soooo drunk,” a delightful elf appeared….

  13. Selena Gomez Banging Orlando Bloom Chelsea Handler Show
    Commented on this photo:

    This chick is just a fucking mess and he is just a fucking douche.

  14. I thought he was cute as Legolas, but this just oozes skeeze.

    Gross.

  15. Selena Gomez Banging Orlando Bloom Chelsea Handler Show
    Chris Hansen
    Commented on this photo:

    uh, excuse me, sir?
    you- with the cigarette–
    why don’t you come in and have a seat.

  16. Selena Gomez Banging Orlando Bloom Chelsea Handler Show
    Dirk Diggler
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice panties !

  17. anonymous

    I know it’s wrong but the look of deep shame Selena is putting out in these photos are hilarious. Nothing better that a young girl can do to get back at her young boyfriend than to let an old man tap it. LOL

  18. kery

    Selena is a joke. She doesn’t sing, dance, act but maybe is a “good girl” with the executives.

  19. I wear women's shoes

    I am surprised this article didn’t mention that Justine posted that new song to his soundcloud account under the name “Sir Bizzle.” I believe Fish will have a field day writing up the next installment for us knowing Justine has placed that upon himself.

  20. ok, sizzurp is cough syrup. People have been drinking cough syrup straight out of the bottle forever. Both Robitussin and rx strength. It is the codeine and antihistamine that people can get a little buzz off of if they take large doses. Apparently giving it a cute little name, using a Styrofoam cup, not plastic or glass folks, and adding jolly ranchers and sprite to the mix makes it…..sizzurp! Purple dank! What poseurs and losers.

  21. Selena Gomez Banging Orlando Bloom Chelsea Handler Show
    Alex
    Commented on this photo:

    If you just kind of glance at the picture it looks like he’s zipping up his pants while she’s sitting there already overcome with remorse…

  22. What’s with the disgusting cancer stick?

  23. Selena Gomez Banging Orlando Bloom Chelsea Handler Show
    TheGhost
    Commented on this photo:

    I can see her panties through her pants

Leave A Comment