Justin Bieber Wrote A Sizzurp Carol

Posted by Photo Boy

For the past few days I’ve been meaning to run this set of Selena Gomez getting herself drunk enough to revenge bang Orlando Bloom’s greasy little elf dick, but I kept getting distracted. So, what better time than now, as we celebrate the release of Justin Bieber’s new song in which he finally professes his love for the purple drank.

but the boys and the girls
they don’t know
what love is like
love is like appreciation
mixed in a double cup of sprite

According to TMZ, he’s long been accused of using sizzurp, but this is the first sort of confirmation. Some others are also linking Justin and Selena’s falling out to their recent interactions with the Jenner spawn, which is all just speculation really, by people (myself included) who should die in a dumpster fire. I can’t imagine how that could be any more tragic than using one more second of human life to contemplate Justin Bieber song lyrics.

Photo: Fame/Flynet, HEDO/AKM-GSI, Splash News