Justin #Bbare Hotboxed A Private Jet, Dem Panties

February 6th, 2014 // 40 Comments
Gettin' Right With Gahd
Justin Bieber
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Ya know how ya got off work at Applebee’s, and ya boys all like, “Buzz cruise, son!” and ya ride around in ya mom’s Subaru thinkin’ ya the pimps of Tinytown? Well, fuck yo’ shit, B-Bare clambakes PLANES. Flap, flap, bitch. Peacock that shit, NBC News:

According to multiple law enforcement sources, the leased, luxurious Gulfstream IV on which the 19-year-old Canadian pop star, his father and an entourage of 10 friends traveled was so full of marijuana smoke that the pilots were forced to wear oxygen masks.
“The captain of the flight stated that he warned the passengers, including Bieber, on several occasions to stop smoking marijuana,” says the official report of the incident. “The captain also stated he needed to request that the passengers stop their harassing behavior toward the flight attendant and after several warnings asked the flight attendant to stay with him near the cockpit to avoid any further abuse.”

You wanna ride with the B-Bare, ya best get your panties shield on, gnome sayin? As for how hard my little jigga is, he straight up knew he’d be gettin’ snatched up by customs, and my boy did not give a FUCK. They say if you looked into B-Bare’s eyes that day, all you’d see is a tiger holdin’ a gun tellin’ ya get to your grandmama’s house ’cause shit’s about to fly out here on da #STREETZ

Officials decided to question Bieber separately from the other passengers, said the report, because “in past examinations, Bieber had become argumentative and abusive when together with his security team.”
When interviewed at Teterboro, Bieber admitted smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol, but stated that he did not have any additional marijuana.

Dopey mothafuckas with dem clipboards think they gonna bring down B-Bare? #DISNIGGA’S THE RE-CARNATION INSTANT BREAKFAST OF SCARFACE, SON.

The two drug dogs also alerted handlers to the possible presence of drugs in three pieces of luggage. “One bag was labeled as belonging to Justin Bieber, one was listed as belonging to his personal assistant … and one [was] labeled as belonging to his personal trainer.”
The trainer and the assistant “disavowed knowledge of the contents of the bags and stated they were actually Bieber’s bags, but they were forced to place their names on the bags,” according to the report. No “contraband” was found, however.

And with dat, my boy B-Bare vanished into the night, his darken skin making him impervertous to the prying eyes of the poh-leese. What crimes and mista meaners would he get into next? Y’all mothafuckas don’t want to know, but if I had to wafer a guess, it’d be a 187 in da heart of Pussy-town. #BBAREgonGIVEit2u

Photos: Instagram / Splash News


  1. Beltliner

    Too bad the flight crew didn’t parachute out the emergency exit and send that bitch into the nearest body of open water.

  2. Hugh G. Rection

    Does Justin understand that when he’s not around, the brothers are laughing their asses off at him?

  3. dude

    man, I love this writeup. Flap, flap bitch. Laughing so hawd.

    • cmonreally

      Yesterday it was “prostate cancer.” Today it’s ” RE-CARNATION INSTANT BREAKFAST.”


  4. “Officials decided to question Bieber separately from the other passengers, said the report, because “in past examinations, Bieber had become argumentative and abusive when together with his security team.”

    It’s amazing what happens when you’re suddenly not being backed up by the defensive line from the Oklahoma Sooners 2008 Fiesta Bowl team.

  5. dude

    damn i’m laughing at loud. Nice work Fish, these B-bare write ups are da BOM

  6. meeps!

    So, where are we on this whole deportation petition business…?

  7. Bonky

    This kid is going to go down in flames. He’s high 24 hours a day now.
    When he was stopped for that DUI the cops reported that no matter
    how hard he tried he could not blow into the brethalizyer long
    enough to get it to register, the boy has no lung capacity anymore
    from smoking all the time. He looks like he is on roids, he is walking
    away from his meal ticket and wants to be a rapper and nobody
    wants him to do that. I give it one year before he crashes, maybe less.

  8. Deepass Chumpra

    So this little fuckhead’s best friends are a bunch of street apes? No wait, let’s reverse that…what do they gain by being seen with this Vanilla Ice clone?

    How’s that jesus thing working out ya little shit?

  9. Rasuptin's Evil Twin

    This little clown’s crash-and-burn will be wonderful to see. Popcorn, anyone?

  10. Lord Helmet

    Fish needs to stop smoking so much Canadian bacon. I literally don’t understand a word when he gets possessed and starts speaking in Bieber tongue. As I understand for the intervention we’ll need a shaman, a pig farmer, and a wiffle bat.

  11. Our little man is growing up *sniff* , wait he still has his shirt on in front of the other guys, he’ll never get a date with the guys if he keeps his shirt on.

  12. ” #DISNIGGA’S THE RE-CARNATION INSTANT BREAKFAST OF SCARFACE, SON.” < This.. hub jumped out of the shower cause LOLing so hard &spastic !

  13. Fish, dude srsly, only THIS guy can match your in da streetz echoomukated stylings:


  14. Cock Dr

    “What crimes and mista meaners would he get into next?”
    Small doses of this shit is all it takes to send me into a giggle fit.

  15. Justin Bieber Flashing West Coast Sign Posing With Fans
    drunk at noon
    Commented on this photo:

    Here he is doing what he does best: both giving, and taking.

  16. Every one of these I read in the voice of Jesse Pinkman.

  17. JC

    Is it too much to ask that Biebs moves on to heroin soon? Or at least starts partying with the Olsen twins? Either way could be a solution to our problems. #vodkaambienpartydog

  18. now politicians who are anti marijuana legalization can pint to this guy and say “look how it corrupts the youth.” ~although it is turning out to be so lucrative that money will override that inanity.

  19. Bow down to the almighty dollar

    Another perspective: this story is really about the power of money. If a normal passenger in, I don’t know, coach pulled any of these stunts (i.e., being abusive to crew, smoking up., etc.) the CAPTAIN would have landed the plane early. But no, the captain has his team wear oxygen masks and just takes this little snot bucket’s shit.

    Very stupid.

    • cmonreally

      I was wondering, can the FAA come after the pilot for not landing the plane in this situation (the drug situation and having to use oxygen masks, I mean)?

    • Did you both miss the part where they mentioned having rented the plane (and therefore the flight crew as well)?

      • cmonreally

        Hi Fart!

        That was a retarded statement! Why? Because it doesn’t matter if a plane is rented or not – pilots are held accountable to the activities occurring on their plane, and their actions are highly regulated by the FAA. Renting a plane means shit nothing if you put the crew (especially the pilot) in danger – and danger includes having to use an oxygen mask in order not to get high and operate a plane under any sort of influence (regulation says that pilots aren’t allowed to have alcohol 18 hours before their flight – although who knows how well that is followed). Source: husband is a pilot.

        So my question was answered – FAA could come after him if he knew about the circumstances (and he did) and didn’t land the plane immediately at an airport that could accommodate the plane’s weight and size.

  20. right

    Deport this lil shit back to Canada. Living in the USA is a privilege, not a right.

  21. Justin Bieber Flashing West Coast Sign Posing With Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet acne yo!!!

    You would think with all of the millions of dollars #disnigga could afford some Proactive

  22. Justin Bieber Flashing West Coast Sign Posing With Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t tell. Does he have his nose of that dude’s ass or is he blowing him? Or both?

  23. Justin Bieber Flashing West Coast Sign Posing With Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wipe that jizz off your mouth, you dumb cracker.”

  24. Justin Bieber Flashing West Coast Sign Posing With Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    “This won’t hurt a bit!”

  25. Justin Bieber Flashing West Coast Sign Posing With Fans
    Anita Buttplug
    Commented on this photo:

    I had no idea Baby Gap carried such “urban” clothes!

  26. If I was the pilot I would have put it in a nosedive and let Biebs and his homies lose their lunch all over the cabin. As far as the FAA is concerned, as long as the piolts on a private flight are sober, they don’t care what the passengers do as long as they leave the pilots alone and do not hamper the operation of the plane. That is how it works on private flights.

    I t would be nice though to have see the pilots dive that plane into the ocean after parachuting out of course and let the Biebs go down in real flames.

  27. I hate this little bitch. How can he not know he sucks? He is nothing that he thinks he is: singer? Wrong. Dancer? Wrong. Handsome? Wrong. Black? Wrong. And I would toss him onto the pile of losers whose delusions of grandeur got the best of them, i.e. facebook. But he is in my face! Get off the radio you little bastard!!!!!!!!

  28. Justin Bieber Flashing West Coast Sign Posing With Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a “w,” as in “WIGGER.”

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