Because an earthquake on the east coast followed by a hurricane wasn’t a large enough sign of the apocalypse, Justin Bieber essentially proclaimed himself the anti-Maple Christ by arriving to the VMAs tonight wielding a goddamn serpent. On top of that, the snake’s name is Johnson because earlier today someone told Justin it means penis and he giggled until milk came out of his nose. It was cute until he looked around and went, “You know, sometimes I wish I could just shove my penis into whoever I wanted. But this snake’ll do.”
Photos: Getty
He looks like such a girl.
He looks like a young Ellen Degeneres
+1 on this… for some reason younger girls like guys who look like girls. And then they grow up and like bad boys. So if you are a normal looking guy you don’t get attention until the women want someone to take care of them and their kids from a previous relationship with some tattooed asshole.
That is the way of the world.
“He” reportedly just bought a $25,000 necklace. Totally heterosexual.
who is that girl?
that is demi lovato!!
Nice side boob.
Me look smart now.
I had forgotten blinged-out lesbians were possible, let alone in fashion. I feel so behind the times. I guess I will have to get my lesbian friend Amber a snake so she stays on the pulse.
his head to body ratio is like 40:1
Aren’t snakes really sensitive to sound? So bringing one to a giant public musical event is not just douchey, but also abusive.
Dr. Watson claimed snakes were deaf, that’s why it’s the best animal that could be brought along.
But they’re sensitive to (ground) vibrations although I don’t know if that’s a problem when held in the air. It’s still a douchey thing to do.
Most dudes are banging girls that look more like men than this guy looks.
what.the.hell. why??
What the hell are they injecting him with that makes his skin so smooth and flawless? He has the visage of a young, preteen girl. It’s freaky.
Bukake facials
Seriously, this guy looks more like a girl every day
I thought the exact same thing when I saw this photo.
maybe they’re preparing his legion of fans for his coming out party
He really, really does. Last night I said while I watching this, “He looks more and more like a lesbian everyday,” to my girlfriend. We were laughing our fuckin tits off at that outfit. Does he seriously not realize how he looks? Sweet baby Jesus, its just sad…
This is just what we need. 13 yearold girls carrying around pet snakes. Thank you Justin, The school boards across the globe are gonna thank you for this move
yep that’s his johnson
It is bad enough that he looks like a bitch, but then his girlfriend being like a foot taller than him makes it ten times worse.
Selena must die a little inside every time she has to kiss or hold hands with Chaz Bono Jr. here.
Weird affectation.
Hope it bites him.
How long did he cart the poor little snakelet around?
I hate the animals as accessories thing. This is further proof Beiber might actually be a chick.
He looks like a dyke from the 80′s.
Samuel L. Jackson was overheard saying, “What that white mother f**ker doing wit that damn snake up in here? He a snake handler now? Mother F**ker better not bring that snake up to me! I’ll whip his lily white ass! Him and dat damn snake. Snakes got no business up in here and they sho’ don’t have no business on a plane! Mother F**ker!
LOL
Who is that hot lesbian?
His first choice was to name it Usher’s Penis
I imagine that snake it tired of having to battle his way out of anus day after day.
deeeeeeeeeemi s2
Are snakes this decades gerbils for the gays?
Then she is a slut. Got any pictures?? :)-
Buzzfeed has a pic of this showing him wearing red pants and LEOPARD PRINT SHOES! Haha he’s seriously gay and not doing a very successful job of hiding it.
Selena Gomez is just covering for him. Once his tween fan base learns/realizes he’s fruity it will end his career.
This kid is a joke. I don’t know why people like him, he is the biggest tool out there at the moment.
“He’s” the most stylish transgender person I’ve ever seen, personally.
The site must not be very successful if you have to spam the link on a celeb tabloid sites.
One step away from having a pet penis.
Selena rarely touches Justin
yah ok…have u seen pics of like the beach and every where else they r always all over each other
It’s pretty damn cruel and irresponsible to bring a snake to a public event as some kind of retarded fashion accessory. They’re not fucking bracelets. That poor thing isn’t even full grown. What a waste of air this kid is.
He told Usher, “Let my contract go!” then threw a stick down and it turned into that snake.
hahahaha best comment this week
Those glasses are as necessary as that snake.
I want to fuck that girl SOOO bad!
Nice Ella-the-secretary glasses dipshit.
you mean the outbourd engine like Mercury & Evinrude?
What a fucking douche.
Hipster Bieber? Is that snake suppose to make him ironic?
overplucked eyebrows much?
Wow hard core toddler this Justin Bieber is. Looks like a douchebag with those glasses.
I bet the suicide hotline has never called by a snake before.
Ha!
just like in every other picture, there’s always a weird, pallid, waxy demony woman saying it with her eye.
Snakes will be trendy mañana.
So this is a gay Harry Potter?
He’s not looking at the boobs? This must really be Hillary Swank.
Hahaha what a queer!
Rachel Maddow got a face lift!
He’s a damn embarassment to Canada. You guys can keep the little idiot down there if you want – we don’t want him back….
Oh, fuck you, you pulled that shit once before with Celine Dion. Never again.
Isn’t she supposed to be with Mikey and the other Goonies looking for One Eyed Willy’s treasure?
He already found it. It was in Usher’s pants.
how old is Ms Lovato???
19
Is it just me or…He reminds me of that girl from the Color Of the Night movie
Oh take that back. I fapped to her so many times in my youth and now you’re going to scar all of those good memories!
Hilary swank was a more convincing dude.