Justin Bieber Told a Lie

March 22nd, 2011 // 61 Comments

After all this talk of Chris Brown having a violent outburst and Paris Hilton being as racist as you’d imagine a white, vapid rich blonde would be, it’s time to take a minute and focus on something really important: Namely Justin Bieber saying he met Robert Pattinson when he like so totally didn’t. E! News reports:

First things first, here’s what Bieber supposedly said.
“One day Robert Pattinson came up to me at a party and said, ‘For whatever reason, people love our hair and it’s always a great ice-breaker with girls,’ ” Justin is quoted in The People. “He is like, ‘Hey my name’s Robert. Want to touch my hair?’ I thought he was joking, but it really works.”
But according to R.Pattz, he has never even met Justin! And he was totally weirded out when he heard J.B. claim he got flirting tips from the Twilight star himself.
When asked about the comments, Rob countered on Friday:
“I’ve never met this guy. I saw that as well. I was like, ‘You’re really famous, man—what are you doing? You don’t need to use me to make up stories!’”

This story later ends with the two of them becoming best friends before softly tonguing each other’s sparkly buttholes in a field until a werewolf shows up at school and won’t let them try out for football. Only after one of them dry-humps the new autistic girl in town does he relent and they all get married in a castle which is odd considering a Mormon came up with the whole idea. Granted, that’ve might been an entire synopsis of The Twilight Saga, there’s no way anything that stupid became a national phenomenon, so let’s assume it was real. Next, you’ll probably tell me people sit around watching teenagers get pregnant whenever a miniature Chilean water buffalo pretending it’s an Italian beauty queen isn’t on.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. Skillette

    Oh snap!!

  2. Karina

    BAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHA golden goodness.

  3. AteIsEnough

    Oh-Oh…here comes the fucking crazy.

  4. Mormons are no strangers to castles. Check the tabernacle on the capitol beltway, it looks like the Cinderella castle at DisneyLand

  5. Usher, in a display of his awesome power, use his Crotch Force powers to pull Bieber towards him back stage.

  6. Steve

    Keep lying. Maybe your penis will grow. Then Selena Gomez won’t call you little

  7. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    Commented on this photo:

    Ruby slippers huh? Nothing gay about that at all

  8. slowly but surely Justin Bieber and Emma Watson are becoming one.

  9. Panda Thunder

    Haha, I would walk like that too if I had been fucked in the ass by Usher.

  10. JC

    Bieber’s lies make Baby Jesus cry.

  11. Nate

    Hey Bieber was that before or after sucking him off? ha! no wonder Rob denies it. Dude you sucked his dick, he doesn’t want to be reminded of it.

  12. Deacon Jones

    Fish,

    Is this website now an extension “Seventeen Magazine”?

    L, OMG!

  13. All that is rough in the world

    Hair?Sure sign he is abnormal. That’s an age to start lying about how many chicks he’s banged, and never to shed the habit no matter age cripped up on ya…
    Oh the good times…

  14. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    People doing the light-in-the-loafers limbo should look happier.

  15. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m going to prison for just looking at this picture.

  16. Eric

    You know, say what you want, but the little fucker made 100 million last year.

  17. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    gigi
    Commented on this photo:

    shame, looks like that kid I knew at school with CP. Damn, Tony used to hustle when he was late for Bio lol

  18. cc

    I wish he’d pull his pants up…he looks ridiculous. He should only have his pants that low when he’s in the company of Ms/. Gomez and she’s ready to make like a goldfish.

  19. Dan

    I doubt Robert Pattinson would ever use such a lame opener. He probably broods in the corner and the chicks flock to him.

    Say what you want about Robert Pattinson – but he is so much cooler than Justin Beiber. I long for the Twihard days of yore.

  20. What the heck is this guys appeal? He’s just a scrawny teen with an average voice.

  21. Jennyjenjen

    Nice Fan Fiction there Fish.

  22. Every time he dresses as a boy he is telling a lie…

  23. Mel

    Oops. Looks like somebody just hit puberty.

    GET TO YOUR BOMB SHELTERS PEOPLE!!!

    FALLING STAR ALERT.

    WE ARE ON FALLING STAR ALERT.

  24. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    emjay
    Commented on this photo:

    hawt

    • Kelsey

      so u think that is hot and justin is ugly….there is something wrong with ur eyes! id get them checked out,…both of u

  25. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    Commented on this photo:

    Extra, extra! Want to buy a paper, sir?!

  26. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sticking out my hips as far as they can go and it STILL looks like I have no weiner!!!”

  27. Deathwina

    500 years from now, this moment will be taught in history classes as the catalyst for World War III: Twihards vs Beliebers.

  28. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    Commented on this photo:

    “Run, Justin! Run!”

  29. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    Eli
    Commented on this photo:

    Bieber demonstrates the hot new dance craze “Do the Bernie”.

  30. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    Jovy
    Commented on this photo:

    I derped. But that was after I supposedly herped.

  31. Is it racism if I just hate Canadians?

  32. Ilovebigbuttgirls

    And so the downward spiral of lies,drugs, sex, and binge drinking begin
    he’s like the male version of loser lohan,shitney spears, and milley virus all rolled into one

  33. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    Storm
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t tell whether he’s exercising his core or trying to mentally will a boner.

  34. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    Storm
    Commented on this photo:

    “When Usher pounds me up the ass, it feels like this.”

  35. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Tron is gay?

  36. Maybe he confused one of the Muppets for Robert Pattinson. It can happen.

  37. Gossip Girl LoVA

    Aww Poor Baby Caught Out Love Yaz

  38. Jess

    Oh Well He Will Learn All 17yr old lie get over it use have all lied beforree
    GETT OVERR ITTT
    why waste ur comment on him if all ur gonna do is be a complete fuckhead to him
    grow a pair

  39. Mel

    I agree with girl above good point everyone lay of if you got nothing better to say
    we all learn from the past

  40. Amy

    also agree^^^
    WE LOVE YOU JUSTIN

  41. Michael

    I agree with these last few ladie ay bro
    like lay of the man he seems alryt kid ya no
    so fuck up

  42. renna

    U GO JESS

    WE LOVE U JBBBBB
    woo woo

  43. Kylie

    WE THE TRUE FANS HERE BABY JB.
    WE DONT CARE IF U MADE A MISTAKE I MEAN
    WE ALL DO RIGHT.
    CMON EVERYONE STOP COMMENTING IF U GOT NOUT ELSE GOOD TO SAY

    GOOD POINT JESS AND THE REST OF THEM GIRLS AND MICHAEL

  44. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    Throjo
    Commented on this photo:

    Even voodoo can’t raise his masculinity back from the dead.

  45. dave ain't here, man

    ^^ I weep for the future of humanity.

  46. Luke

    Justin Bieber? Who the hell is that?

  47. chlo-blow

    i think the lie was that shes a boy

  48. Kylie

    ^^
    hahaha dumb bitches just cause u aint got no money dawgggg

  49. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    katie
    Commented on this photo:

    why doesnt he have a penis i dont understand

  50. Justin Bieber Robert Pattinson
    EASY
    Commented on this photo:

    JUSTIN BIEBER IS A GAY

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