There are two simple rules to the gossip racket:
1. If a woman retains more than .5 oz of water, she’s pregnant.
2. If two famous people stand next to each other, they fucked.
So with that in mind and armed with the information that reports of his $10.8 million bang-mansion were premature, here’s a pic of Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift that he posted to Twitter because it’s time Selena Gomez learns this maple-bird’s got maple-wings and needs to maple-fly. However, if Justin Bieber truly is the syrup discharge of God, this is simply an innocent photo before he doused Taylor Swift in the face with Aunt Jemima and proclaimed she’ll no longer be the openly available condiment that men freely dip their sausage into. For as it is written.
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Splash News
Selena Gomez wants to win the Oscar and nothing will stop her.
His shirt says “Mr. Right”. Funny mine says “Punch anyone wearing a Mr. Right shirt repeatedly in the face”.
I make that same expression when I drop a deuce. Small world.
Jesus christ you can totally picture her as an old woman in this pic. Garggg.
At least he won’t poop on her like John Mayer did . . . or will he?
What we have here is the “It’s time for us to get beyond dry humping, or I’ll just start hanging out with girls who let guys take it out of their pants” message to Selena Gomez.
I’m looking forward to her Bieber breakup album, which she’ll call “Maple Leaves’.
Comment of the week! I’m still laughing…
This is great lol
That was brilliant!
That was a bad joke!
Stinky is one of the most important people on the internet with this one.
He’s soooo pretty, I WOULD bend him over.
No need, he’d probably bend over for you.
this stick figure would be a bore in bed. she strikes me as someone who would lay there stiff as a corpse and think of song lyrics while you’re trying to pry open her dried out vag with a crowbar since your flacid dick won’t work. her constant “golly gee gosh” look is getting real tiresome as well.
Better she just lay there that actually say something. Any sentence out of that ditz’s mouth is bound to be the ultimate boner killer.
Maybe if you weren’t a rapist Carlos, you might have better luck with women.
@karlito: LOL!! That’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a while. Thank you!
I saw an interview she did on 60 Minutes in which she was put on the spot and asked point blank if that “golly gee gosh” look she does (and it’s always the same damned look) was just bull. LOL.
I bet she’s a superfreak. The quiet ones always are. It’s just she probably won’t open wide until you put a ring on it.
posting in all caps means your talking super srs
My shirt actually says “Mr Right please bang me” it just got cut off in this pic.
OMG! JUSTIN BIEBER? IF THIS IS YOU THAT SAID OMG I WANNA SCREAM! I LOVE YOU JUSTIN BIEBER YOU AND SELENA ARE PERFECT FOR EACHOTHER! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I LOVE YOU JUSTIN!
hey
OMG! JUSTIN IF THAT IS REALY YOU THAT SAID THAT THEN OMG I WANNA SCREAM! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! AND SELENA TO OF COURSE! wow your amazing! if you read this omg that would make me so happy!
First he didn’t bang her, he’s gay. Second, she and Selena are both pretty average but hyped up by the media to convince people they’re hot.
Yup, got that right.
And if he is gay, then so what? People these days are so pro gay rights, yet they still use being gay as an insult. Grow up.
“If two famous people stand within next to each other”
That little lipstick lesbian is curious about whether Ms Swift is really blonde all over.
And that just CAN’T be a yard long tattoo running down the length of Ms Swift’s arm in photo #3, can it? Maybe maple grrl did a littl doodling on her arm backstage.
It’s all so adorably fake it makes my teeth hurt.
Silly woman ,that’s the 1st lyrics to her song shes singing! Just like Sarah Pallin.
Taylor: That’s the biggest schlong I ever saw.
Justin: I know, I think I’m in love.
Until she writes a song about him I don’t believe it.
life will never be the same.
in other words: LEAVE THE COUNTRY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, folks!!
Run Forrest!
I think the “OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE MY LIFE!” face has been played out.
pee chill
How long before some idiot makes a black microphone joke? I can smell it cooking out there.
If anyone here had a working television they would know that this is from the new season of Punk’d….The Biebs does not have the ability to tongue her asshole like I do…give me her for one night and she will be happy…a steady diet of Taco Bell and a glass table in which I will lay under as the food exits her log launcher…ah yes.
I like the way you think!
Telewhat, now?
OMFG, I love this site. You guys talk some of the best shit I’ve heard in a while.
Amen
So the bottom half of his shirt says “in the ass”?
People need to do their research before they say anything. This picture is from a prank Justin did on Taylor on Punk’d. Justin is not cheating on Selena.
So, you’re saying he “punk’d” Taylor? LOL.
Fuck society and their standards, you’re beautiful
Really people he is not cheating on selena are you really stupid enough to believe that?
are you realy stupid enough to care?
If anyone is in their right mind would also know that Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift are best friends. f**ktards.
orgasm
I’m so glad me and Justin Huber broke up so now I can date Taylor lautner Yahoo.
you are a wrong person justin bierber how would cheated on her w/ taylor smith
because she is cute why
The picture is from where he Punked Taylor Swift….
why did you brake up with selena gomez??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????