Put. A. God. Damn. Shirt. On.

May 21st, 2014 // 54 Comments
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I’m going to be upfront with you guys. Thanks to a cold/allergies, my throat is getting dick-punched right now (Easy, Jonah Hill. Easy.), so I’m way too drained to even attempt talking like #BBare, and will probably be taking a nap by the time you read this. Fortunately, these pics make Justin Bieber look like way more of a shithead than calling him The Mayor of Pussytown ever possibly could because he’s literally walking around an international film festival shirtless while grabbing his dick, for the sole purpose of everyone seeing him walk around shirtless while grabbing his dick. Although, in his defense, he did get to go up onstage with Rick Ross and prance around like a white, Capuchin booty ho monkey:

“Golly gee, Mr. Ross, can I be in your hip-hop show?”
“Sure, kid. Just promise me you won’t rap.”
“Anything for you, Mr. Ross! Hot dog, I get to be a black guy! Whoopee!”

Photos: INFphoto, Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Def MERS. Yep. Fish has that camelfuckin’ MERS.

  2. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    WG
    Commented on this photo:

    enough with the douschey eyebrows jesus.

  3. BB

    Someone sincerely needs to bitchslap that dumbass look off this little fucknerd’s face and maybe toss a tarp overtop his weird tatted hobbit physique while they’re at it. Why hasn’t anyone stepped up yet on behalf of those of us who would happily be to the one to do it, if only we could? What’s the holdup, people? This space-wasting piece of refuse needs a serious adjustment, maybe more than anyone in history ever has.

  4. You know, I cringe when women are accused of having PMS when they get bitchy but fuck me, I’d better go take a Midol. I hate that fucking kid so much I can’t even find the words for it.

  5. He always has that “I got no clue” look on his face. Puddy on Seinfeld did that but was never annoying.

  6. Fuck Me ,come out already #BBare! Pic#1 has all the ingredients for a “Twink.” Bryan Singer would love to help Mable Syrup with his tendency to grab his penis.

  7. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    Cripes, that ugly chick has tiny titties…

  8. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m inclined to think that those aren’t “douche eyebrows,” but actually the look of genuine concern over a severe dick rash after banging someone with the name Ventura.

  9. malaka

    the maple syrup anti christ is a direct symptom of the dumbfounding and revolting characteristics of what the average young female is attracted to.
    as well as what lengths billionaires are willing to go to in order to exploit the mindless raging hormones of those young females.

    now what the hell can we possibly do about it??
    sacrafice the dooshnozle for the good of the harvest?

  10. Put a shirt on. Pull your pants up. Go fuck yourself.

  11. sc4play

    And I’ll add: Pull. Your. Damn. Pants. Up. Even if they are just swim trunks. Don’t want to be seeing yo’ nasty drawers!!

  12. Rick Ross done gone soft.

  13. Keeps grabbing it because no telling when he may find it again…. Microscopes that powerful are hard to find these days….

  14. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Freebie
    Commented on this photo:

    Scrawney skinney legs. Does he have abs now or are they still painted on?

  15. Cock Dr

    The Case of Justin Bieber raises the eternal question; was it nature that made this little Canadian boy into one of the biggest douchebags in the celebrity universe or is he simply an inevitable product of entertainment industry nurturing?

  16. Marketing Mike

    The other night when he was out cherry picking models,
    every one of them was 3″ taller than Bieber.
    I’ll bet this clown isn’t 125lbs, soaking wet.
    My 9yr old could beat the shit out of him.

  17. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Those French dudes are swooning.

  18. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Justin..NOOOO! Once you go Black you…..

  19. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, Justin’s like Israeli commando tough…when he’s with one.

  20. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Unfortunately, that does not say “shoot here” in Hebrew.

  21. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Who doesn’t floss walk?

  22. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Camilla Monk
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he’s been doing that face for months and now his eyebrows are stuck like this.

  23. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Art-Girl
    Commented on this photo:

    Every time I see him pull that face, I imagine Suge Knight dangling him off a balcony. Please Suge, make my dreams come true.

  24. Jessica Simpson's Dad

    He is such a feminine, submissive looking little twink. In no way can I imagine him having sex with a woman, yet it is very easy to picture him getting fucked in the ass – particularly by 400 lb black guys who are particularly attracted to the white twink type. And since he such a skinny, tiny, feminine little twink, the muscles look incredibly awkward and in no way enhance his attractiveness. How in the fuck are women/girls attracted to that?

  25. Dick Nose

    Gotta admit that headline made me chuckle

  26. Joe Blow

    I can’t help but notice that in the majority of those photos he’s surrounded by sausages. Not a female in sight.

  27. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Canada’s shame. He should feature Rob Ford on his next album.

  28. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he has to go to the bathroom really, really badly.

  29. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    The required checking if his dick is still there pic.

    The tattoos, though… I get secondhand embarrassment..

  30. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    There is no level of tattooing that will make you look like even a slice of a man if you keep behaving like a tantrum-throwing three year old with a shitty diaper and sticky hands, so just stop trying, you national fucking embarrassment.

  31. cc

    This guy looks tougher with every passing day.

  32. Robb7

    I’m waiting for the day when he pulls one of his pussy stunts — but the courts get it right and send his little white ass to jail. THEN, he will see what it’s really like to be with the brothas!!

  33. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yep, it’s a pubic hair all right!”

  34. Is there anyone on gawd’s green earth who is more hateful than this disgusting little cocksucker? Other than Donald Trump, I mean. (And the jury’s still out on that one!)

  35. Somewhere right now Vanilla Ice is saying “…and I shall call him Mini Me”

  36. kery

    He is a douche and a clown.

  37. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    why does he have 1975 tattoo’d on him in roman numerals..

    also, on a side note, could you imagine if this guy becomes the next Mark Wahlberg? I mean, all the signs are there right down to the calvin kleins

  38. Sam

    So yer tellin’ me among all the pychopaths, serial killers that this world has to offer, that there’s not at least one out there who won’t feel complete until this kid’s head is in the kitchen freezer? Lame..

  39. boltuprite

    And stop playing with your nutsack.

  40. Shirtless Justin Bieber Dick Grab Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, and all the other guys have shirts on coz daBebes is so daBuff.

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