Because Dottie Sandusky needed something to bake into a cake this holiday season and/or re-electing a secret Muslim president that shoots hurricanes out of his eyes isn’t enough for God to bathe us all in a lake of fire, the fine folks over at Pipedream have released a Justin Bieber sex doll. Surprisingly, I don’t see “Designed by Usher” anywhere on the box which is exactly why the Chinese are beating us. There was a time when this country stood by its products, dammit. Now it’s all “Made in Taiwan” or “We forgot to shave this one before smuggling her over from Romania.” No one takes pride in their work anymore.
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Bieber wishes he looked that masculine.
“Selena can suck the gold off my Grammy”
What more can be said?
he has a grammy?
What they aren’t advertising is the fact that the doll has a fleshlight for an asshole.
three hole option or GTFO.
If only Michael Jackson would’ve lived to see this, he could’ve died a happy theoretical-approximation of a man.
All the gay men in the US just got a spontaneous erection.
fyi – this whole lack of electricity / internet fucking blows.
Sorry about that, Deac. Do you have some nice candles and yummy preservative-filled snack food at least? :(
No power sucks, but at least we got The Superficial, right? Thank goodness for smart phones.
Who’s the target market here? Teenagers?
- Daddy, I need a 100 bucks.
- Why?
- Ahmm… It’s for an authentic Justin Bieber educational toy.
- Really?! Here is 200 bucks. Get one for your sister too.
“Built to The Precise Specifications Provided by R&B Superstar Usher! Order NOW!”
As long as it doesn’t make shitty music, I don’t care.
Kudos to your sir, I think your comment is underappreciated.
Deftly perverted write up. I particularly liked the part about how America used to stand up for it’s products. Well done, Mr. Fish!
You know the first one will be bought by Selena. She hates being a liar about having sex with him.
“Life-like pussy included”
I’m going to hate fuck the shit out of this
I assume it’s anatomically correct and includes a mouth hole, asshole and pussy hole?
Does it cry after sex like the real Justin probably does?
he may be 18, but still – this is soooooo pedo. he looks so much younger.
And his girlfriend has the deeper voice.
He’s been 18 for months; I’m rather surprised they’re just coming out with this now.
Thanks, Fish. I can never un-know this.
The deluxe version includes an inflatable Selena fucking Justin with a strap-on. So lifelike you’ll think you’re actually backstage.
The creepiest part of this is the fake picture of Justin with the nipple length mullet.
I suppose a Justin Bieber fashioned look a like maple syrup dispenser a la Mrs. Butterworth wasn’t marketable enough.
Oh well, I’ll never understand the sheeple.
I’ve been waiting for a KD Lang sex doll for SOOO long but I really thought it would be more masculine.
The doll has a vagina.
soooooo……
what sex is the doll?