Justin & Selena Are Getting Married!

August 8th, 2011 // 126 Comments

As the world slowly dissolved around them, Justin whispered into her ear two simple words, “I’m ovulating.”

So, I know I might have said something about Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez getting married, but I was just trying to milk Internet traffic, all the Internet traffic capture how The Teen Choice Awards demographic (Read: Girls ages 10-11.) would react to these photos of him mauling her in every single photo before moving onto Taylor Swift and Tyra Banks because he’s trying to spawn a multi-cultural Maple-baby army to teach the world that real love is holding hands and ice cream, not that icky stuff he did with Selena in Hawaii. All weekend. Because she’s stronger than him.

Photo: Getty

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  1. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    Roofies Yum
    Commented on this photo:

    Psst, I’m not wearing any panties.

  2. Justin has no clue what a BJ is. If he keeps it up, her head will pop.

  3. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    Shiloh
    Commented on this photo:

    Maple Christ: “Whoa, hey, before I put my arm around you all the way…this isn’t gonna be a song on your next album right? Because I’m pretty happy plowing Selena.”

  4. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    CC
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me, or do they both look like they’re 11 or 12 years old (especially Bieber)?

  5. Town Cock

    Nothing surprises me, any more! Either SELENA has a horse cock or JUSTINA has a snapping pussy or both(wait, now we’re talking about LADY GA GA)…

  6. HeySamJo

    Their Children will be maple-brown sugar bobble head babies!

  7. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Ok, i’m terribly mad now. How old are those kids. Where are this girl’s parents and why do they let her out dressed like this???She is practically naked! It’s horrible horrible and I can only imagine this would be viewed by thousands of pedophiles.
    Disgusting! Why do you need to grow up, adult life sucks!!! Even when you are goodlooking. I’d rather be adopted by Angelina &Brad any day and play with fucking Barbie and videogames ALL DAY LONG.

    • whatsmyface

      Settle down, Jackass. She’s 19 so, technically, she’s an adult.

      • gumption

        you’re a jackass, what 19 is some independent adult? No, it is just a convenient age where people are STILL kids therefore dumb enough to march into a war. These are kids still and that is why she looks like she is playing dress up. It looks absurd and creepy, just a few degrees less creepy than those toddler peagant kids. When you pimp out your kid, make them dress like a whore and then clap like you are proud you get a britney. Then assholes like you slam the kids when they fall apart. And why are none of you fuckers mentioning that this beiber character is NOT male?! Why does everyone pretend they do not see what it so clear? He is a she. for fuck sakes she is wearing blush and makes the selena girl look like a dude by comparison. IT IS NOT A HE, THAT IS A FEMALE! Fine, maybe a bit of a lesiban butch type, not true butch at all, but not regular femme but this is a god damn girl people! Is no one going to acknowledge this? I do not know what this creature does, sing or act or play the flute, but IT IS A GIRL.

      • Doc Schweinstrudel

        Cuntington, I didn’t slam the kids, I slammed their parents. You are so fucking dumb you missed the point.

  8. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    Commented on this photo:

    Tell me again, why did we pick our southern border to build a wall on?

  9. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    Sergeant Poop
    Commented on this photo:

    Selena Gomez looks different.

  10. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    GuidotheRed
    Commented on this photo:

    “The strap-on’s in the car”

  11. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    Beefier
    Commented on this photo:

    Got Chocolate Milk?

  12. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    gumption
    Commented on this photo:

    IT..IS..A..FUCKING…GIRL!

  13. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    gumption
    Commented on this photo:

    ok, this photo did it. this is a kid. a KID, 19 year ld kid. So if she is 17 it is not ok but if a few months pass and she turns 18 then all of a sudden she has transformed into a mature woman ? wow, amazing how that works. . and this ugly 35 year old dude is rubbing her leg and everyone is siting around like it is perfectly normal. I bet they clapped afterwards. Yes, people in the far East are overly strict but people in the west are fucking retarded and sick, that is why the east is afraid of being infiltrating by western culture. Look! is it so hard to understand the concern? Both sides are sickos. I need to build a spaceship and luanch myself the f out of here.

  14. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    renee
    Commented on this photo:

    why does her head look GIANT?

  15. Queef Sister

    She looks like a toddler with tits.

  16. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    MissSwan
    Commented on this photo:

    That Samantha Ronson is one handsy dyke!

  17. flatspottin'

    Holy shit, I laughed at the whole lesbian joke until I saw that picture. Seriously. Lesbians.

  18. dontkillthemessenger

    All of these pictures look like 2 teenage girls. She’s going to dump her soon.

  19. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    Midget lesbians need love, too.

  20. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    I know
    Commented on this photo:

    Words can not describe how much I hate this lezbo.

  21. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    precious bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    im so sad !hoping the world ends today!

  22. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    Nello
    Commented on this photo:

    Demi’s more of a man than Justin will ever be!

  23. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    Mandi
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh-oh, better not show this picture of Selena and Samantha Ronson getting cozy to The Biebster.

  24. Sweenis McFrecklenut

    I bet its so hot when they rub their pussies together

  25. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    Raaaaaaaa
    Commented on this photo:

    someone has had her cheekbones masterfully sculpted and contoured with blush, and so has Selena…

  26. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    Heidi
    Commented on this photo:

    aww, they got matching lipgloss

  27. Xenobia4

    Haters gonna hate!

    I think they’re cute together. Haters can bite the bullet. :P

  28. Jose

    This looks so creepy. She looks about 12 and “he” looks like a 9 year old lesbian. Him standing next to Miley Cyrus is more natural. There you get that nice boy-girl balance. I’ll let you figure out who’s the boy in that relationship.

  29. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    I Mean... What?!?
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it me or does Selena Gomez look like a cougar in a bad bathing suit cover-up next to Justin Beiber? http://bit.ly/qebT49

  30. :p

    SELENA is taller &STRONGER than justin- but they still look good together;P

  31. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    bootsy lee farnsworth
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet hover hand bro.

  32. The Pexican

    I’d put one in that little lesbian and teach her what a man feels like…I’m talking about the Mexican one, not the butchy looking Jewish one.

  33. Borat Sagdivey

    Ina my country, we take small lesbian with short hair and throw down a well after spraying with insecticide. VERY NIIIICE! LOL.

  34. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    Commented on this photo:

    justin beiber look guy he is guy i don’t kown why selena gomez like him ewww

  35. jevina

    its there life and their choice, and as fans we should support them all the way but i don’t think their ready for marriage, even though she 19, he’s still young and have alot to learn. But they should be careful when taking certain photo’s, i think it will give teens and adults an wrong idea about their way of styles.

  36. Qaylah

    I Hate you Justin if you marry Selena I’ll never forgive you!!!!! GOSH!

  37. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    Kelsey
    Commented on this photo:

    Justin Bieber is Hot, Succesful, talented, giving, caring, sweet, plus way more…that would be why selena is with him…duh so stop hating on him and GTFO

  38. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    20011
    Commented on this photo:

    man i am so confused about this? becase it looks like if they’er touching eachother in the middle parts in this picture

  39. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    jodi carelse
    Commented on this photo:

    stop it, u girls will never get justin,so stop bleming selena gomez

  40. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    jodi carelse
    Commented on this photo:

    leave selena gomez alone ,nd u guy who make that kak comments,you guys are lesbians

  41. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    jodi carelse
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘i know’ u are a lezbo

  42. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    jodi carelse
    Commented on this photo:

    selena nd justin are the cuteness couple eva

  43. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    jodi carelse
    Commented on this photo:

    she is so beauitful

  44. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    jodi carelse
    Commented on this photo:

    he have amazing eyes

  45. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    jodi carelse
    Commented on this photo:

    dont talk kak nello

  46. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Teen Choice Awards TCA
    sienna
    Commented on this photo:

    so cute i was going to cry

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