Welcome to the magical time between Christmas and New Year’s when The Superficial lazily rehashes all the posts you sick sons of bitches couldn’t get enough of. This year, in lieu of a Top 10, we’ve decided to break it down by the best post of each month so we can all relive the joy and majesty of 2011, and more importantly, give me an extra two posts to phone in so I can sit around thumbing my Christmas loot.
MAY
Do I seriously need to explain how this one was a top post? Here are Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez so blatantly on sex-cation in Hawaii, you can practically hear Selena say, “Stick it in, you little maple bitch,” through clenched teeth in every single shot. How she figured out his weakness is water, I’ll never know, but I bet it involved promises of gummy bears if not a skateboard. “Aw, no way, it has Batman on it and everything. Wait, why I can see your secret cave the Devil lives in? I NEED AN ADULT!”
Posted: 5.27.2011
Original Post: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Had Sex Last Night
Photo: Flynet, Splash News
There’s no boner
she pees in it.
HE HAS EVEN THE NERVES TO SHIT IN IT, folks!!
I love these heartwarming tales of boy meets girl…girl uses boy to maintain a modicum of pop fame…boy blinded by his penis…boy loses girl the second his fame begins to fade…boy and girl end up on a “Hey, Remember The Teens?” segment on VH1.
Don’t forget the part where this post is 7 months old, but it’s still getting comments (let alone hits) as recently as 1:30 in the morning today.
Why couldn’t these two have known the Texas Muslim Christmas Santa.
He’s gonna get her buck naked by the end of this song!
FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE! COULD THIS RELATIONSHIP BE ANY MORE FAKE AND SET UP??? why do people really believe this??????
I think the relationship is fake too–set up by their “people”
y r people hating on selena or justin it’s proppaa pathetic yuu won’t like it if people started hating on you! and it;s clearly obvious tht Bieber is straight seen as he is wivv Selena… unless yaa calling her a guy wich shr clearlyy isn’t …………………. only sayin
OMG I am dead!!!!!!!我要死啦！！
no he did not he is stilll a virgin dont worry
I would choke her with that
Get it Justin, I hope ur not gay u gained a lot of respect from me
If ur gay I’ll take her I would do everything to her
He is gay look he dosent have any kind of boner I have a boner every time I see a pic of her
if jb didn,t do anything to u then leave him the heck alone,i think jb haters are just jealous of him …please don,tbe a hatah!
Damn I would fuk her so hard nd he gay look at his other pics no boner in ny of em
Where is she looking
He was jus scatchin but no boner defenitly gay
She is a pretty girl
ok.. This is sad!! Im not saying this cuz i love justin bieber and im jelous. I love them both. I honestly dont think shes usin him but i dont think its appropriate to have little girl fans and show all that in public like that. They will eventually break up so calm down. I really dont like this… One bit but for now as a belieber i may hate this and want them broken up but they WILL eventually so it will be okay
I see London
I see– ahh fuck it
SELENA GOMEZ NIPPLEEE
i bet he’s whispering all the dirty little things he’s gonna do to her that’s why she’s smiling
and she wants it
and he doesn’t have a penis… awkward moment :(
Selena is too good of a person to have “it”. I don’t believe in gossip but I sure do know it!
- Selena was rushed to the hospital
-Beyonce’ is pregnant
-Avril lavigne has breakouts
-Rihanna got kicked out of a country for making a terribly inapprocriate music video
By “It” She Means Justin Beiber Not Sex
hey justin what’s your email something i have to ask you privately.
he’s looking at how small her boobs r!!!!!:)
Oh, You can’t spell :) Did you mean * Are
&Actually he’s looking at how nice her boobs are & Thinking “Wow I fucking banged the shit out of her last night !!!! :D
yes.
yes they are definitely havin sex. justin bieber is one horney b*tch
True dat true dat
i think justin is just using her for publicity. dump him girl. you deserve better.
i think that they are very sweet togethar! i mean everyone should leave them alone!! they r in love just get over it!!!!!!!!
hahahahahaha so funny
Justin: crap i forgot the condom
Selena: O, it doesn’t
woteva dat is gomez is justins choice so let dem b…..
its a crazy type of bikini
i love dis gosh……
he is havin fun guys…. enjoyin d little tym he has wif his girlfriend
dat can’t b possible i heard dat she is caryin biebers baby
Umm isn’t that like against the law cuz age difference cuz she’s an adult
17 is age of consent… hes 17…. think about it here…
male ako beh na mestoto na biebe vadq pistoleta
i can really rememberhow many girls i ve fucked by the time i was 17. a lot
I love selena gomez
Ddddewee
Yo, Selena I don’t want to offend you (only because I used to have a HUGE! crush on you but now I got a girlfriend) but I agree with you. You love Justin (even if I think he is a total idiot) and thats all that matters. So don’t listen to these dummies. Okay?
i think they are just two young people that like each other and love each other’s body’s.
And another thing, Hey Justa Biever, sorry ‛bout the name (its a habit at my school) anyway your probably just poparazzi saying your him but dude, seriously everybody thinks your all that, so respect it while you still got it, so don’t blow it by saying ‘hey guys stay outta my business will ya?’ and then Selena says ‘he stripped me naked and then sucked on my boobs’ :p thats nasty, and your only what? 16? I don’t really think you like her because of her personality, but because of her looks. And if thats it then I would be dating Ashly Tisdale.
Cassidy your right, her middle name is Marie,I don’t know how i new tht? eh, hoo gives damn. you make me sic ta tha stumick you f***ing basterd wanna bees. ›:(
I thank they are a cute cupple. they are ment for each other the are both nice and sweet and everything i hope they stay togather forever i love you guys. from your fan.
OMG! that BITCH got selena gomez. GROSS!
you are all ignorant. the more attention you give to this, the more hype is made of it. who really gives a shit anyway. I was looking for info on a boy whose parents and sister were slain, and this stupid crap popped up. get a life
wtf bicth every body cares if we didnt we wouldnt b on this fukin website XD
that bicth get the fuck on my nerves
selena gomez is 19 years old and justin bieber is 17… as far as i know 17 years old is legal consent to have sex, so this should be no big deal… except that if it was a 19 year old guy and a 17 year old girl it would be statchatory rape… way to be double standard…
i am gay
i love my phallus went in the anus justin bieber.
and i like see anus justin bieber.
pelese sent in my email fuck justin bieber