Maple Christ’s Son Will Not Go Hungry,
He Checked

June 21st, 2011 // 72 Comments

In the midst of all the bikinis, drunk drivers, merkins and areolae yesterday, I completely missed Justin Bieber staring directly into Selena Gomez‘s cleavage at the Much Music Awards Sunday night and making a face that clearly says, “Golly wilikers, those sure got big!” So, go ahead and add this to the list of signs and wonders that this baby’s due in December where he will usher forth a new era of miracles and fulfilled prophecies until it is revealed on the Last Day that he is the “Man of Sin” sent to deceive us all, for as it is written.

Photo: Getty, Splash News, WENN


  1. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Commented on this photo:

    Hot flash.

  2. whiskeyafternoon

    I hate when young people dress ridiculously old. Nice suit pant booty shorts, Latina maple womb.

  3. It had to be said

    Pic one. Nice face, Selena. Good God, at least you know what she’ll look like when she’s old.

  4. Crabby Old Guy

    “Selena Gomez’s cleavage”? That’s the funniest line EVER Fish! You have mined comedic GOLD with that one, buddy!

  5. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    old man
    Commented on this photo:

    Practicing blowjobface for third trimester

  6. Richard McBeef

    This should bring out both the pedophiles and their specialized cousins, the pederasts.

  7. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Along with the obligatory cross accessory, is he also wearing a Selena Gomez t-shirt? Isn’t that a bit much?
    The cross doesn’t really go well with the “ambiguous gender teen in heat” look going on here. Don’t put bite marks on that girl.

    • Kelsey

      what r u talking about? he is not wearing a selena gomez tshirt he is wearing a saved by the bell tshirt…duh

  8. Could he be more obvious?

  9. the captain

    silly americans will now say: IS SHE MAYBE PREGNANT OF A DWARF?

  10. Sweetmoses

    Is that Kelly Kapowski?? I want that t-shirt. You think he’s ever even seen SBTB? Oh kids these days and their faked couture.

  11. Snaggletooth

    Oh shit, there’s a baby in there…

  12. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Commented on this photo:

    “Then I have to spread his cheeks this far apart to achieve the proper blumpkin.”

  13. Dan

    This 16 year old Bieber kid goes on vacation with his 18 year old hottie girlfriend – to HAWAII. WTF are his parents thinking. Seriously, I want to know how this makes sense.

    That kid must be spoiled rotten.

    I am so glad I don’t have kids – they would all want this same treatment.

  14. maeby

    He’s looking at the mic, dude. Also, Kelly Kapowski?? That baby Jesus is like 4 years old. No way he knows who that is! He probably thinks its “vintage”.

  15. Dan

    ALSO – As an 80s child, I can see that the 80s fashion is definitely back…

  16. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok he actually is looking at them in this pic.

  17. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    My Left Nut
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m looking right between those beautiful legs.

  18. OnTheRealThough

    Selensa is growing up nicely. But…Victoria Justice >>>>>

  19. TomFrank

    Let’s see…Justin and Selena purportedly did the deed just last month, and now you say the baby (if there is one) is due in December? Unless you’re arguing that the Son of Maple Christ only requires a seven-month gestation period, I think it’s time to brush up on your math skills.

  20. I like how he’s got a picture of himself on his t-shirt.

  21. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is that picture of on his shirt? I found a photo of him showing the complete image and I cropped and uploaded it up on Google’s image search but it turned out nothing.

  22. zomgbie

    justins liking the size of that mic.
    and wondering how shes gonna strap it on without straps.

  23. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Commented on this photo:

    Does he even know who Kelly Kapowski is? Damn poser. I see your wandering eye. Still doesn’t prove your straight!! Don’t go knocking her up cuz you just figured out how to use it and what it was for.

  24. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Commented on this photo:

    Justin Beiber looks like a lesbian woman.

  25. See Alice

    Guess he isnt a homosexual .

  26. uber

    if he knocked her up last month, that puts the baby in february 2012.

    beiber baby = 2012 = end of the world .. coincidence, i think not

  27. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Hugh Jazz
    Commented on this photo:

    Either she has a ton of spider veins on her thighs or her stockings need a-changin’.

  28. cc

    I see he planned ahead and brought his pink ‘jerking cloth’.

  29. Hellisforsissies

    Clearly Fish has misinterpeted Beiberbutts look…What it really says is, “So that is what she hides in her shirt!” Thereby removing all doubt that: A: He has ever been privileged to see her topless or naked, and B:While she could easily be pregnant, it isn’t with Beiberspawn since he clearly has no clue what to do with a hot little latina, but loves him some choclate boy booty!

  30. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Commented on this photo:

    lol…. well then you should look at.
    Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber

  31. Linzie

    First pic —-> she looks like she’s got a hairy chest

  32. nomad

    He’s just creepy now.
    And what’s with the T? Was he even born when Saved by the Bell was on TV?

  33. Venom

    I hate him but he is a lucky bastard.
    She is smoking hot.

  34. Joe

    I think he’s just looking at her shoes thinking, “OMG, the new Monolo’s!”

  35. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Intergalactic Captain Superstar McAwesomeville
    Commented on this photo:

    Oi Biebiezwiebie! eyes up front

  36. Mandy

    Wow. She is looking REALLY skinny. She’s starting to look like a bobble head.

  37. Intergalactic Captain Superstar McAwesomeville

    Oi biebiezwiebie! Eyes up front! not down her cleav… ow where is it gone to

  38. liza

    am i the only one who thinks the biebs looks increasingly like a lesbian???

  39. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Commented on this photo:

    you and justin are so cute together ……and thoes haters out there , all you have to do is flip em’ off

  40. Anon

    He was born a year after Saved by the Bell ended. Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s only confused Kelly Kapowski for Selena. You know how much those Mexicans love the glittery, ’80s mall photo booth photos.

    • TomFrank

      No, ’80s T-shirts are in now. Cock Dr is gonna buy a car from the T-shirts she’s been storing in her basement for 20 years.

  41. AleisterCrowley

    She’s not 18. She’s maybe 15 tops.

  42. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Commented on this photo:

    Wearing his tour t-shirt on stage, now that is great advertising.

  43. The Listener

    Selena’s 18. She’ll be 19 next month. Justin’s 17. They both have baby faces. And he could easily have seen episodes of Saved By the Bell considering repeats of the show are still being played EVERY weekday on the TV channel TBS.

  44. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Commented on this photo:

    it should be illegal for her to wear that outfit…you need more tits and ass honey plus that makeup is damn tacky. personally you look 13 so gross!

  45. anonymous

    Points for Bieber rockin’ the Kelly Kapowski shirt. Then again, these two chicks look like they wear the same size so it’s probably Selena’s.

  46. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Commented on this photo:

    Justin Beiber: Yowza!
    Selena Quagmire: Giggity giggity! Aw right!

  47. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Commented on this photo:

    what is wrong with her legs. it looks like it’s discolored or something and in every picture. wonder why…

  48. NightmareCentral


  49. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez MMVA
    Balls Mahony
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s just the lighting

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