The Superficial | May 23, 2011 - 8:30 am

In every photo like this, there is ALWAYS Keith Urban in the background, saying it all with his eyes. And a black guy.

I honestly debated whether to post Justin Bieber kissing Selena Gomez at The 2011 Billboard Music Awards because I don’t know how this doesn’t end with 13-year-old girls suicide-bombing Disneyland while screaming, “Stop stealing my boyfriend!” Granted, some of you might not find that funny because you have daughters, but seriously, has she been in the garage lately? Because you might want to check. “What the- Alright, who’s been using fertilizer and glitter on my workbench again? *looks at photo of Selena Gomez* And we don’t say, ‘fatwa’ in this house!”

Photos: Getty, WENN