Justin Bieber Bought A $10.8 Million House To Bang Selena Gomez In

For my 18th birthday, my parents gave me an Nintendo 64 with a copy of GoldenEye and let me have a couple buddies over to spend the night throwing proximity mines at each others dicks. Except after midnight, we snuck out so I could buy cigars because I no longer had a Cinderella license (Everyone else was still 17.), and also make a pit stop at the local adult bookstore which was essentially a 15 second experience of me walking into a wall of dildos, seeing two frightening horned up truckers about to jerk off in a port-a-john and running right the fuck out to get grounded as soon as we got home. So you could almost say Justin Bieber spent his 18th birthday in a similar fashion by buying a $10.8 million mansion from Ashton Kutcher to bang a multi-ethnic, barely legal hottie in for hours on end. The Daily Mail reports:

The Two and A Half Men star has reportedly been renting the house for $50,000 a month since his split from wife Demi Moore in November.
With plenty of space, Justin has ample places to play as the home features five bedrooms, set across 9,400 square feet.
Looking over Lake Hollywood, the large living room has walls of glass, allowing the pop superstar to have a perfect view of the stunning scenery.
And both Justin and Selena will have plenty to keep them occupied with a private movie theatre, a bar area, and even a gym and massage room to treat themselves to.

So basically what this story is telling us is Selena Gomez doesn’t give head yet. “So, baby, I was thinking since I bought this mansion maybe you could you know.. Ha! What? No, I wasn’t going to ask that! I was going to ask if you, uh, if you could have a snuggle party watching Titanic with me. Whee! Snuggle party. Don’t hug me right now.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News