Winter Is Upon Us: ‘Jelena’ Has Officially Risen From the Ashes

Coming out the gate — if you’re here to see Selena Gomez’ nipples then I’d cordially like to invite you to head this direction. If you’re here to find out meaningless information on the status of her relationship with Justin Bieber, please… continue below.

Is your white wine spritzer sitting on a coaster? Better make sure that puppy is strapped down because Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were finally caught kissing at one of the Maple Christ’s hockey games. Those rascally kids have pretty much made it official now that the hashtag #Jelenaisback has become a real barn-burner on Twitter. Devoted followers to the couple’s (publicist-arranged) relationship are seeing this as his second coming. Judging by the pictures, it looks like Selena can’t wait for JB to get off the ice so that she can receive his stinky (yet surprisingly large) hockey-dick before making their way to their weird sex cult’s bible study where everyone wears workout clothes.

It’s been pretty undeniable that Selena has been rebounding with her ex-boyfriend since breaking up with The Weeknd (who’s been rumored to have also gone back to his ex, Bella Hadid). I don’t know may women who would go and watch a guy’s pee-wee hockey game without the promise of some P in V action afterwards. Then again, this is a woman who goes to public parks to “pretend read” to children, so who the fuck knows what kind of dark, unseen forces are at work here…

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