Don’t Be Rollin’ Up on Justin #Bbare Talkin’ Bout No Plea Deal Like You Got Somethin’

February 24th, 2014 // 16 Comments
Can't Deport This
Justin Bieber TI
My, My, My,
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It’s been a mothafuckin’ minute since I broke it off to you ’bout my boy Justin B-BARE, Canada’s original, harder den a Maple Leaf sons of anarchy who be racin’ dem honies and bangin’ dem cars, so let me brings you all up to speed on Da Hosin’ You With Dat Syrup One as he prepares to lay steez to Hotlanta and start his new umpire. Here’s where it gets technological: Ya see, da police want to offer my boy a plea deal where alls he gotta do is help some kids paint some rec center and drip his dangalang into a cup. Except Bbare has a counter-offer which I’ll shall now read from this memorex he sent me. Ahem-hem… FUCK YO FACE:

But the bigger issue is this — our sources say Bieber will NOT accept any plea that has probation … where the judge can throw the book at him if he screws up.
In particular there’s NO WAY Bieber will agree to random drug testing. Fact is … he has a problem with weed and sizzurp. If you don’t understand his worry, just remember Lindsay Lohan, who became a habitual probation offender for more than 7 years.

Let me all axe you somethin: Does Justin B-Bare look like a freckle-bitch? I said, does Justin B-Bare look like a freckle-bitch? THEN WHY YOU TRYIN’ TO SLAP HIS BIG OL’ TITTIES AROUND LIKE HIS ONE?! My boy ain’t givin’ out no blowjobs for a Pacific rate of no hundred G’s. CHECK YO’SELF.

Photos: Instagram / Fame/Flynet


  1. Selena Gomez Legs Daisy Dukes
    Shaggy 2 Dope
    Commented on this photo:

    She definitely wants to bare my anchor baby.

  2. Dem some sweet chainz yer boy bought cha

  3. JungleRed

    I imagine the voice of Meatwad when reading these Bieber posts.

  4. Joe Blow

    LMAO at “harder den a Maple Leaf”

  5. cmonreally

    I’ve always thought that the most thuggish thing anyone could ever do is post a bunch of filtered selfies on Instagram. The only thing more hardcore would be adding clip art to them.

  6. kevbot

    all i can hear when reading these #b-bare posts

  7. i love these posts

  8. Joe Blow

    I like how the selfie caught the very moment he flinched when that massive black cock was rammed up his Canadian Corn Chute.

    Take it all, Biebs. Take it all.

  9. JC

    I am not a criminal lawyer, but isn’t probation the very lightest slap of the wrist that he could expect for underage drinking and illegal drugging? Is he expecting the judge will sentence him to a 10-minute time out and let it go at that?

  10. anon

    Lindsay is 10x harder than this ass-wipe [and twice as talented].

  11. Mitch

    Isn’t there some east coast canadian rapper who will pop a cap into this little bitch? He could be the maple tupac.

  12. lawn

    You lost the hockey game, you have to keep him.

  13. A plea deal…??? Justin Bieber…??? WTF! Just get a rope and hang the little motherfucker.

  14. End Of The Line...

    His “records” aren’t selling at all, his “movie” was pulled 3 days
    after release, quickly losing 5 Million. His tours usually start by now,
    instead his label has him tucked away in Atlanta with enough yes
    men, fanta+ and hookers to keep him quiet, while they get ready to
    dump his contract.. It’s not going to be pretty, or take long…

  15. BareBack for real

    If the little Bareback does time for any of his antics, they are going
    to ride him hard, and put him away wet. He will be the most popular
    ride in the park, and they will be lining up to see him. White, Shiny,
    Hairless, and little, he’s a convicts dream come true.

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