It’s been a mothafuckin’ minute since I broke it off to you ’bout my boy Justin B-BARE, Canada’s original, harder den a Maple Leaf sons of anarchy who be racin’ dem honies and bangin’ dem cars, so let me brings you all up to speed on Da Hosin’ You With Dat Syrup One as he prepares to lay steez to Hotlanta and start his new umpire. Here’s where it gets technological: Ya see, da police want to offer my boy a plea deal where alls he gotta do is help some kids paint some rec center and drip his dangalang into a cup. Except Bbare has a counter-offer which I’ll shall now read from this memorex he sent me. Ahem-hem… FUCK YO FACE:
But the bigger issue is this — our sources say Bieber will NOT accept any plea that has probation … where the judge can throw the book at him if he screws up.
In particular there’s NO WAY Bieber will agree to random drug testing. Fact is … he has a problem with weed and sizzurp. If you don’t understand his worry, just remember Lindsay Lohan, who became a habitual probation offender for more than 7 years.
Let me all axe you somethin: Does Justin B-Bare look like a freckle-bitch? I said, does Justin B-Bare look like a freckle-bitch? THEN WHY YOU TRYIN’ TO SLAP HIS BIG OL’ TITTIES AROUND LIKE HIS ONE?! My boy ain’t givin’ out no blowjobs for a Pacific rate of no hundred G’s. CHECK YO’SELF.
Photos: Instagram / Fame/Flynet