Parentally it’s your berfdays because y’all’s about to see my boy B-Bare whippin’ his dick out and pissin’ all over da police.. station toilet where my jigga did hard time for lightin’ da streets a Miami on fire with yo mama’s panties. Thirty Mile Zizzone:
Law enforcement sources tell us … they fully intend to release one more jailhouse video of the dainty jailbird … a video showing him peeing into the visible jail toilet. The judge previously ordered cops to blur Bieber’s junk before releasing it … we mean the video.
But there’s a problem … Our sources say they’re having trouble obfuscating Bieber’s genital area, because he moves as he pees. But they’re also having technical issues blurring the video.
We’re told the police tech team has been working on the problem non-stop since Tuesday.
Dat’s right, y’all. Ya don’t blur B-Bare’s syrup bottle. B-Bare’s syrup bottle blurs you. Just ask Chantel Jeffries, Selena Gomez, Miranda Kerr, Tati Neeves, Mariah Yeater, Anne Frank. All dem bitches screamed the B-Bare’s name, and soon, y’all get to have the dis sink pleasure of seeing his weapon of ass destruction live and in person. They say just to look upon it is enough to make a man’s mind go insane. Like the Bark of the Oven Mitt, for surely, Justin B-Bare’s dick-o-wang is a vessel itself unto the Lord. And, lo, shall your pussy spread for da receiving of righteousness, and a dark B-Bare will ride into dat ass until Indiana Jones be all like, “Bitch, cover your eyes! Buncha white shit ’bout to be flyin’ up in here!” For as it is written.