Y’All’s About To See Justin #Bbare’s DANGALANG

March 5th, 2014 // 36 Comments
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Parentally it’s your berfdays because y’all’s about to see my boy B-Bare whippin’ his dick out and pissin’ all over da police.. station toilet where my jigga did hard time for lightin’ da streets a Miami on fire with yo mama’s panties. Thirty Mile Zizzone:

Law enforcement sources tell us … they fully intend to release one more jailhouse video of the dainty jailbird … a video showing him peeing into the visible jail toilet. The judge previously ordered cops to blur Bieber’s junk before releasing it … we mean the video.
But there’s a problem … Our sources say they’re having trouble obfuscating Bieber’s genital area, because he moves as he pees. But they’re also having technical issues blurring the video.
We’re told the police tech team has been working on the problem non-stop since Tuesday.

Dat’s right, y’all. Ya don’t blur B-Bare’s syrup bottle. B-Bare’s syrup bottle blurs you. Just ask Chantel Jeffries, Selena Gomez, Miranda Kerr, Tati Neeves, Mariah Yeater, Anne Frank. All dem bitches screamed the B-Bare’s name, and soon, y’all get to have the dis sink pleasure of seeing his weapon of ass destruction live and in person. They say just to look upon it is enough to make a man’s mind go insane. Like the Bark of the Oven Mitt, for surely, Justin B-Bare’s dick-o-wang is a vessel itself unto the Lord. And, lo, shall your pussy spread for da receiving of righteousness, and a dark B-Bare will ride into dat ass until Indiana Jones be all like, “Bitch, cover your eyes! Buncha white shit ’bout to be flyin’ up in here!” For as it is written.

Photos: Getty

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  1. The Beiber write-ups are hilarious.

    • MarketingMike

      Blurring out a “body part” by frame tracking it Is pretty easy,
      and should only take a few minutes. Are we sure he was peeing?

  2. Jose

    Seriously though, enough with the “ghetto speak” you immerse in every single Bieber post…actually, enough with the Bieber posts period.

  3. Satan's Right Hand

    The Anne Frank name added to the list made me laugh out loud on a conference call.. Thank you for that.

  4. The marketing reps at ProActiv just got boners.

  5. Yourmom

    I cant stand this little shit , But I don’t understand the cops need to release all this shit ? Why are they trying a case for the public ? The only people that need to see any of this is the lawyers and judges.

    • JC

      I was wondering that, too. Don’t get me wrong–I’d pay money to watch a snuff film with him as the star, but I don’t even understand how releasing a tape of him pissing in his jail cell is legal. Hell, why would it even be relevant to actual court proceedings?

    • stef

      Anything that happens while behind bars (with the exception of private meetings with attorneys) can be released to the public…phone calls, videos included.

  6. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah haa haa haa

    • MarketingMike

      Does he have any concept of how much of a pussy he looks like
      to the other guys in this place. I mean other than the entourage
      on his payroll. At quick glance he looks like he’s wearing a skirt
      and bright red pumps. If I were 5′ 2″, hairless, and white as a ghost
      I’d probably try to look as manly as possible, not invite them in.

  7. MoozBoy

    Who did his tattoos? They’re all pretty much horribly done.

  8. Cock Dr

    ” y’all get to have the dis sink pleasure of seeing his weapon of ass destruction”
    I look forward to viewing the famed 18 millimeters of maple sausage.
    Is this douche still in the states? Doesn’t the Canadian douche fly back north at the end of winter?

    • MarketingMike

      Your conversion ratio is all wrong. You mean his 8 Centimeters
      of Throbbing Maple Canadian love pump.

  9. If Photoboy can pink star a nipple, I wouldn’t think it would be that hard to red maple leaf Bieber’s junk.

  10. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a downright jackass.

  11. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Even Jesus rolls his eyes over this brat’s behavior.

  12. “Bark of the Oven Mitt.” Nice.

  13. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    J
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice skirt and Ronald McDonald shoes.

  14. wow

    He needs some make-up for all those zits.

  15. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what happens when you get your ICP tattoo at Dollar General.

  16. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    Commented on this photo:

    On Juggalo island, We can be one. Let our nuts hang by the water. On Juggalo island, we can have fun. We can let go, by the water.

  17. EDWARD ELIZABETH HITLER

    Let me just remind everyone that this pasty white shithead came from STRATFORD ONTARIO, a place known for it’s utter boredom and Shakespear festivals. He’s as white as a fucking potato and about as “street” as Sesame Street. All those fucking tattoos to make him look “hard” are a goddamned joke. It speaks volumes that the Hockey olympics basically was about who gets to keep this shithead.

  18. Bark of the Oven Mitt.

    Well done, Mr. Redmond. I shall never forget this joke.

  19. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish, seriously killin’ it with the b-bare posts. “weapon of ass destruction.” love it.

  20. Muffin

    “dis sink pleasure” …rivalin any of Mark Twain’s “shet de do” classics

  21. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    Mrs Opinionated
    Commented on this photo:

    No offense, but he looks like a lesbian.

  22. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck is that supposed to be?

  23. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m no Bible-thumper, but shouldn’t that say “Psalms” instead of “Psalm”?

  24. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    Commented on this photo:

    Fer fuck sake, clean your fingernails, you filthy piece of shit. Then go take a shower and wash your hair.

  25. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    Commented on this photo:

    (Advertisement)
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  26. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! That’s Jeebus doing a two-handed Kung Fu chop. Fuckin’ RAD!

  27. Whenever I read these B-Bare posts, it’s Jamie Kennedy’s voice from Malibu’s Most Wanted.

  28. “Weapon of ass destruction…” *dead*

  29. Justin Bieber Tattoos Being Recorded By Miami Beach Police After DUI Arrest
    Commented on this photo:

    He is in a jailhouse being booked, and still wearing a gold/diamond necklace around his neck? Really?

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