This is Justin Bieber’s Penis. No, Really.

August 24th, 2011 // 29 Comments

From the mind who brought you Jelena: Our Love is Like a Goose Fucking an Armadillo comes Allegory of a Teen Sex Symbol, a bronze statue representing Justin Bieber‘s penis if Justin Bieber’s penis was made out of Looney Tunes characters. So basically lifelike. This statue is lifelike. Via Splash News:

“Daniel wanted to create a work that opens a dialogue about the inevitable exploitation of teen sex symbols as they grow from child stars to adults, as we’ve seen with past celebutantes Lindsay [Lohan], Miley [Cyrus], and Britney [Spears],” said the artist’s spokesperson, Cory Allen. The piece, which features the cartoon characters Sylvester and Tweety Pie, is said to be inspired by groupie Cynthia Plaster Caster’s famous series of plaster casts of 60s rock stars, including Jimi Hendrix. Edwards said: “It would be naive and hypocritical for anyone to be offended by this simple sculpture, yet be apathetic towards the plethora of images to which they subject themselves on a daily basis. I stand by the work.

For someone who makes sculptures of 17-year-old cocks out of cartoon characters, the guy actually has a point. By this age, Miley Cyrus had already incorporated vagina diddles into her act and Britney Spears was using witch magic to make me masturbate in my college dorm room. Our nation has truly sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, so let us begin anew with golden statues of underage dick. Really start things off on the right foot this time.

UPDATE: Multiple angles added here. You’re welcome Usher.

Photo: Getty, Splash News


  1. Enough of the impressionism and artistic interpretations.
    I want to see the lifelike reproduction of Vinegar and Water.

  2. JC

    I’m pretty sure I saw a pamphlet at my doctor’s office that said you should immediately make an appointment if you see this in your pants.

  3. Minky Wail

    Sylvester does spit a lot when he talks…

  4. Facebook Me

    Phallic. On just about every level.

    What a “winning” statue.

  5. Justin Bieber Penis Scuplture
    Commented on this photo:

    When Selena’s pants come off it says, “I tawt I taw a putty tat!”

  6. Cock Dr

    If that’s Bieber’s unit he needs a miracle worker, not a Dr.
    “Artist” is likely laughing all the way to the bank

  7. grobpilot

    Didn’t know he had a penis.

  8. oh dear

    “golden statues of underage dick”

    Put me down for a dozen. My pussy shows mercy to no dick.

  9. I tat I taw a puddy tat. I did taw a pwnis whaped wike a puddy tat. and a wead what wooks wike me. I am tawounded by dickweads!

  10. Freebie

    She doesn’t have a penis.

  11. As much as we make fun of this girlie little Canadian doucher, raise your hands if you would like to see what the stupid ‘artist’ of these abominations looks like.

  12. this is fucking stupid. whoever that ‘artist’ is belongs in guantanamo, having his balls fried by truck battery. and people who like beiber should move to canada. enough already. fuck OFF

  13. Ego, the living planet

    These are dumb. Like BEST BUY page takeover ads dumb

  14. Wow, Bieber’s member is shaped like the dildo from the movie “Se7en?”

  15. Yeaaaah, cup the tweeties.

  16. Justin Bieber Penis Sculpture
    Commented on this photo:

    Now I am confused…I thought Sylvester alwats wanted to eat Tweety…..not scratch him, and have Selena lick him.

  17. Justin Bieber Penis Scuplture
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Daniel Edwards,
    WTF is wrong with you dude????. Your obsession over this kids privates, should land you in jail with Sylvester up yer azz>
    Get a real job, you are nooo artist.
    Your Attorney

  18. 2 Tweeties 1 Sylvester

  19. Johnny Cage

    Superficial, enough fucking posting about this damn kid already. From the great selection of all the amount of celeb T&A you can post, you’d figure some twirps dick would really be genius? Fucking stop already!

  20. miley

    the superficial NEED attention!

    I search bieber penis on the source link SplashNews and nothing is found. Nothing in the quoted article also says Bieber.

    What a joke! attention media wh0re!

    now you get what people loking for from gogle, bieber peni$, nice way to bring trafic by spreading rumor.

  21. Joe

    What it don’t say is that the statue is only 3″ tall.

  22. Cpm

    Poor Selena. That looks painful.

  23. Bubba

    It would be naive and hypocritical for anyone to be offended by this simple sculpture, but simple crap is still crap. The Art of hypocracy still exists, but art it is not.

  24. Justin Biber Penis Sculpture
    Commented on this photo:

    Why can’t they show the real thing? D;

  25. Jake Pelska

    Okay, I understand what this artist is trying to convey. He is showing how these celebrities are just becoming sex symbols. Still, I think if these people care so much about the sex industry being the controllers of the world, they should look at the women first. They show more ugly whory women than men. I’m no homo, so nobody say that because I love women, and I speak for them and respect them. People should stop complaining so much about the guys out there like Bieber and focus on all the porn shit that is filled with sluts. Women are being used by guys all the time and when a guy pops up that women are sexually attracted to, men become angry and talk shit. So how do women feel about women being shown all over the place, even movies that are acceptable for children? Guys will say that because its a man thing but woman can’t like things, if they do, they are called whores. This is a man’s world and everything is out there for the benefit of the man, which is not right! C’mon ppl. If you want to fix up this problem, look at the problem with the big industry with Playboy, porn and all sex crap showing off women like tools.!

    • rhiannan

      Hi Jake Pelska i am Rhiannan i live in vic from Swan Hill i relly like what you siad about bieber but guys do like girls like me i am 15 years old i am allmost 16 years old how old r u r u from the USA or not but i think u r from the USA so r u when u say problems what do u meen by that and what do u meen by girls been tools to u guys

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