Justin Bieber Can Physically Dominate A Grown Man Is What You’re Supposed To Believe Now

May 29th, 2012 // 103 Comments
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Before I even get into the latest bullshit report about Justin Bieber “assaulting” the paparazzo above, here’s a pretty relevant excerpt from his recent GQ interview where he agreed to box Drew Magary only to back out at the last minute because the Maple Lord has the attention span of a coked-up hummingbird and was going through a two-second boxing phase:

There is no way around it: Justin Bieber is a very small human being. He’s 18, but he could easily pass for someone six years younger. His rep says he’s five feet nine, but he looks about four feet four, maybe one hundred pounds. I shake his hand, and it feels like there should be more hand there. I suddenly realize that I can’t box this guy. I’m ten inches taller and a hundred pounds heavier. I ought to sit with him and read him Babar. But soon it doesn’t matter, because Bieber says he forgot his boxing equipment.
“I didn’t want to get my ass kicked,” he says.
“But I was told your dad was an MMA fighter,” I say.
“Yeah, he was.”
“So you could beat my ass.”
“No, not really.”

Now keeping that in mind, the paparazzo above is literally trying to claim that on Sunday the willow in the wisp described back there assaulted him to the point that he required immediate medical attention and a full police investigation. TMZ reports:

Justin was in Calabasas, where he lives, just after noon Sunday at a mall called The Commons. A paparazzo attempted to take Justin’s picture and, according to law enforcement, some sort of physical altercation erupted between Justin and the camera guy.
The photog called 911, and when cops arrived Justin and GF Selena Gomez had already split.
The photog complained of pain to his upper torso, an ambulance was summoned and he was taken to a local hospital where he was examined and released a short time later.

Except it turns out the dude blocked Justin Bieber’s car and wouldn’t move, resulting in a “scuffle” which I’ll assume was a limp wrist to the face followed by a lawyer materializing out of the bushes with dollar signs in his eyes:

We’re told several witnesses at the scene say after the altercation, a lawyer walked up to the photog and said he could get a lot of money out of the incident and advised the dude to call for an ambulance and file a police report.
Witnesses also say the photog had been blocking Justin’s car as the singer was trying to leave.

Look, nine times out of 10 I will back the paparazzi when celebrities flip out on them because getting your picture taken is the price you pay for fame and fortune. The paparazzi don’t follow dentists. That said, how much of a little bitch do you have to be to look in the eyes of what seems to be an entire police department and EMTs who could be off dealing with real victims and say, “Oh, my estomago, the tiny dancing girl-boy assaulted me!” Because, seriously, this kid’s going to peel you off ten, maybe, MAYBE, thirty grand but now the entire world knows you’re a wiener who couldn’t take the equivalent of a feather-duster to the cheek. Have fun letting that slowly eat you alive on the inside.

Adding… Yes, I know Justin Bieber spent the other weekend “training” with Mike Tyson, so here’s literally all 40 seconds of that before he went off to tickle-fight Iron Mike’s kids because clearly the champ missed this post.

Photos: Raef-Ramirez/AKM-GSI

superficial

  1. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    “And then he say meet him here and pretend he fight me and he give me enchiladas suizas dinner tonight.”

  2. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Meanwhile, in another part of town, someone lay dying.

  3. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    “El zapato del pequeño muchacho era muy púrpura.”

  4. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    Punkass
    Commented on this photo:

    um – what happened to his shoe? Did he throw it at the dude?

  5. barancy peloma

    those are some manly lookin socks there!
    what kind of shoes are those? l.a. gear?

  6. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    Throjo
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, that zany George Zimmerman!

  7. In defense of the paparazzo, Bieber DOES look a little bit like a boy.

  8. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like the hood ornament fell off

  9. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    bernard
    Commented on this photo:

    you are running to fill your testosterone treatment prescription
    when you pass a cute lady, what do you say dear?

    How do you do?

  10. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    Commented on this photo:

    Gotta keep hydrated! Long walk across that parking lot.

  11. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ugh, mooom you’re embarrassing me in front of the guys!”

  12. I would not want to be known as the guy that got his ass kicked by Justin Bieber.

  13. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    Ana
    Commented on this photo:

    What. The. FUCK is he wearing?

  14. These are not the kind of pussies I expect to see on my computer when I wake up at 2 in the morning.

  15. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    vgrly
    Commented on this photo:

    There has to be about 9 cops too many at the scene. Thanks for standing around wasting our tax payers money!

  16. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    Skink
    Commented on this photo:

    He dress’s like a little girl, who would be scared of Little Miss Beaver? What a joke. The guy probably let him punch him a few times knowing the whole time it would add to his payday.

  17. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    jmo
    Commented on this photo:

    he’s wearing chachi pants.

  18. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    Bubbles Mcgee
    Commented on this photo:

    exactly where on earth is his other shoe? I am guessing up his ass like everything else?

  19. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    Georgio
    Commented on this photo:

    Just put your shoe back on dear and Momma will tie it for you.

  20. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    Georgio
    Commented on this photo:

    ..and then this fucking huge dude with purple shoes and girlie socks,,,wait why you laughing man?

  21. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care why that paparazzo decided to look fearful, but he’ll go down as a life long pussy.

  22. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    Georgio
    Commented on this photo:

    and then he started beating the ever living shit outta me with his purple shoe!

  23. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    Georgio
    Commented on this photo:

    Alright listen up gentlemen…,the unsub is apparently a white girlie male with purple shoes…

  24. tlmck

    A paparazzi, an ambulance chaser, and a small gay boy walk into a bar…

  25. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    dieter
    Commented on this photo:

    MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

  26. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    big hairy fat dude
    Commented on this photo:

    so many 20+yo woman paedophiles out there if he is supposed to be male and sexy.

  27. Yo, his boxing form is completely terrible

    • Like seriously he has obviously never had a second of correct training. He’s standing wrong, his hands are in the wrong place, and he’s throwing the saddest granny punches ever. Come on Bieber, you can hire someone to teach you how to kick ass

  28. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    hittingthegaybiebs
    Commented on this photo:

    the glorious shoe!!!!

  29. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    GhostofBiebersbangbus
    Commented on this photo:

    Little green munchkin socks, check. Lavender tennie shoes, check. Matching lavender baseball cap, check. Baggie “harem style” pantaloons, with paisley scarves tucked in strategically placed zipper pockets, check. Incredibly bad haircut, check. Needs to be deported, check.

  30. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    Ray Sister
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone shorter that Madge Bieber? South Americans and especially Mexicans, take a fucking vitamin once in a while. My 7 year old shouldn’t be as tall as your fence jumpin’ asses.

  31. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    papastalker
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s this dudes name? We should get his home phone and address so he can be stalked the way her stalks Justina and Selena. I mean now that he is a celebrity it is all fair….. right?

  32. Justin Bieber Fight Paparazzi Selena Gomez
    sup
    Commented on this photo:

    that lady is my french teacher!!!

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