Justin Bieber Not Allowed Into USA.
For a Few Hours.

April 25th, 2014 // 36 Comments
He Respects The Law, Ya'll
Justin Bieber Deposition
I'm Kidding, He Pisses Right The Fuck All Over It. Read More »

Posted by Photo Boy

Aww naw, son! Cain’t nawbody hold down ma boi #B-Ba– You know what? Fish is on vacation and I just can’t get it up to even humorize the way this little dickhat speaks. Last night the Internet collectively shat its shorts when the thuggish ruggish boner, Justin Bieber, was held by customs at LAX for a few hours. Turns out that’s pretty standard when your rap sheet’s as long as Jon Hamm‘s dick.

Sources close to Bieber tell us U.S. Customs agents are giving JB a secondary customs search … which includes getting grilled about all his open criminal cases — DUI arrest in MIami, egg throwing at his neighbor, etc…

“Boom! Feel the full weight of the U.S. justice system you smug little shit!! You think you’re just gonna run around with your little pussy gangster squad getting DUIs and fucking up people’s property, well we don’t take too kindly to that shit here in customs. Now you’re gonna wait two, maybe even three hours before you go to a luxury hotel, get high and bang models, mister! We’ll just see how you like that. FUCK YEAH BOYS, WE GOT ‘EM!!”*high fives around room, sits down, stares out window thinking about tours of duty in Iraq*

Photo: Fame/Flynet


  1. Cock Dr

    It’s as if there was a Miley Cyrus & Corey Feldman gene splicing experiment that some sick Canadian had inflicted upon the world.

    • ELLE

      I just read the wildest book about celebrity screw ups.

      Two models sexually blackmail their way to the top in LA and they’ve got it made – they’re living the super model high life – until the bad karma, in the shape of a psycho NFL quarterback, catches up with them.

      Then things get messy, real messy, as the star footballer goes right off the rails in the week before Super Bowl.

      Check out Model Citizens Riding For A Fall @ Amazon. This story has got Hollywood movie written all over it.

      • my neighbor got gold Acura TSX just by some part time working online with a computer.

        official website … C­a­S­h­S­­­FL­Ow.C­­­­­oM

  2. JC

    C’mon, US Customs. The Patriot Act gave law enforcement pretty broad powers to do un-Constitutional stuff. How hard is it for you to disppear this kid to a CIA black site? I heard he had bomb residue on his suitcases. There, are you happy now? Can you please do your jobs?

  3. Marketing Mike

    The wheels are about to come off this midget Canadian train wreck.
    Last night on TV, the paps talked to the 2 remaining 14yr olds who
    follow him and they had a combined IQ of about 80. When the label
    dumps him, and they will soon, his career will finally be over.
    I can’t wait.

    • There may be a bump in that road. A while back there was a piece on Deadspin, I think it was, where the author abandoned all human decency and tried to lend a hipster cool imprimatur to the silly little brat’s latest album. That storm may need to be weathered before he finally, mercifully, goes away or overdoses on gummy multivitamins.

      • Marketing Mike

        The last I heard, he’s sold less than 10k copies worldwide,
        of his latest album, from 5 months ago. He used to do that
        in an hour after releasing a new product. Plus, the refuse
        to play his new tracks on the radio, at all. Period.

        Getting a decent review isn’t the problem, evidently the tracks
        are pretty good. However, his new target audience (the Hood)
        aren’t buying his products, 14 year old girls have moved on.
        If nobody buys his products, he’s gone in another 6 months.

  4. As far as these searches go, is “secondary customs” a nice way of saying “body cavity”? Here’s hoping.

  5. They should make it permanent, let Canada deal with that spoil brat, and pathetic excuse of human being.

  6. Freebie

    Are the tattoos and hat supposed to make him look bad ass?

    • Marketing Mike

      In 5 years, when the moneys gone, and he’s the day shift manager
      at Beavertails in Quebec, he’ll wish he had the money back that he
      blew on Custom Tats, Drugs, $100k plane flights, $100k visits to
      strip clubs, $20k a month leases on Lamborginis, $100k a month
      leases on Mansions. $10k a night hotels, and $80 a night hookers.

  7. Marketing Mike

    He thinks he’s a Rapper. Seriously…
    We’ll see how long his loyal “posse” sticks by him
    once the record label cuts him off. Hint: not long.

  8. I just wanna kick that fucker in the face.

  9. Justin Bieber LAX Detained By Customs
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does the expression on this little weasels face give the impression that he is taking a black cock up his ass.

  10. Justin Bieber LAX Detained By Customs
    Commented on this photo:

    understandable why he was detained.
    society would be laughing so hard at his
    fashion sense that the country would come to
    a total stop until oxygen is restored.

  11. I have news for you, Americans, Justin made almost ALL his millions in America. America, the land of the Kardashians.

    So Shut. Up. Assholes.

    • Marketing Mike

      He spends it here too. Every time that little turd jumps on his
      mid-size jet it’s $100k (Continental US, $150k International).
      (1) He hasn’t made a dime of profit off from his last album
      (released November 2013) They won’t play it on the radio.
      (2) His movie lost between $3-5M (Christmas 2013) when only
      crickets went to see it during it’s spectacular 3 day run.
      (3) He’s living off of residual income from past product sales.
      (4) There is a record label “Mendoza” line he is ignoring.
      He probably has no clue. If he doesn’t make money soon,
      his RL will pull the plug. When they do, all his bills for the
      past 5 years, the bills the record label has been carrying
      on their books with interest, will become due an payable.
      That will be his “maple” come to Jesus” moment. Every
      popular act over the past 50 years has faced that moment,
      sooner or later. How do you think he will handle it?

      • Cock Dr

        His handlers will attempt to clean him up and sober him up enough to go on the talk show circuit to mouth platitudes about how the trials and tribulations of the last few years have turned him back to Jesus.
        The “paid to appear at your party” option also seems to be quite lucrative.

      • Themeland Amusement Park, Stockton, California.

        Puppet Show and
        Justin Bieber

      • Marketing Mike

        BRAVO! That is absolutely perfect for his skillset!
        I mean, he lip-syncs every song LIVE, he has for years.
        The only thing he does “LIVE” is pee and puke onstage.

  12. It was a good few hours…

  13. Justin Bieber LAX Detained By Customs
    Commented on this photo:

    This punk always looks like a douche

  14. When are he and Lindsay Lohan going to make a snuff film together?

  15. Why does it always look like he has had a massive load of man cock?

  16. Justin Bieber LAX Detained By Customs
    Commented on this photo:

    The look on the black chick’s face supports my belief that the brothers Justin hangs around goof on him behind his back.

  17. Justin Bieber LAX Detained By Customs
    Commented on this photo:

    who dresses this little girl??

  18. kery

    The authorities should make Justin obey the rules like any person in the U.S. besides he isn’t even american .

  19. Jenn

    Well, it was a start. What you want to bet he cried?

  20. Justin Bieber LAX Detained By Customs
    Commented on this photo:

    Can someone tell me what this calculated and retarded facial gesture is even supposed to mean?

  21. Justin Bieber LAX Detained By Customs
    Bieber hater
    Commented on this photo:

    Look he has his Big Boy pull ups on now!

  22. Zed

    Just got depressed thinking about how true to life this post probably is…

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