Posted by Photo Boy
Aww naw, son! Cain’t nawbody hold down ma boi #B-Ba– You know what? Fish is on vacation and I just can’t get it up to even humorize the way this little dickhat speaks. Last night the Internet collectively shat its shorts when the thuggish ruggish boner, Justin Bieber, was held by customs at LAX for a few hours. Turns out that’s pretty standard when your rap sheet’s as long as Jon Hamm‘s dick.
Sources close to Bieber tell us U.S. Customs agents are giving JB a secondary customs search … which includes getting grilled about all his open criminal cases — DUI arrest in MIami, egg throwing at his neighbor, etc…
“Boom! Feel the full weight of the U.S. justice system you smug little shit!! You think you’re just gonna run around with your little pussy gangster squad getting DUIs and fucking up people’s property, well we don’t take too kindly to that shit here in customs. Now you’re gonna wait two, maybe even three hours before you go to a luxury hotel, get high and bang models, mister! We’ll just see how you like that. FUCK YEAH BOYS, WE GOT ‘EM!!”*high fives around room, sits down, stares out window thinking about tours of duty in Iraq*