Justin Bieber & Mariah Yeater: Who Raped Who?
A Special Report

November 4th, 2011 // 54 Comments
Justin Bieber Whale
Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber Slapped With Paternity Suit Read More »
Who Is Mariah Yeater?
Mariah Yeater
Family Says She's "Good, Honest Person" Read More »

Only this beluga whale knows the truth. But will it turn rat?

While the police are busy contemplating a statutory rape investigation after Mariah Yeater publicly admitted to having sex with a then-16-year-old Justin Bieber, the Maple Christ went on The Today Show this morning to deny fathering a baby before dancing his way across a pool of water and feeding 5,000 people Pinkberry. “My children, this blood’s for you… And also these sprinkles! Hee hoo!” People reports:

“I’d just like to say, basically, that none of those allegations are true,” the “Baby” singer, speaking before his Today concert Friday, told the hosts of the NBC show after being asked about the story.
“I know that I’m going to be a target, but I’m never going to be a victim,” Bieber, 17, added.
… “It’s crazy,” Bieber said on Today. “Every night after the show I’m gone right from the stage right to the car, so it’s crazy that some people want to make such false allegations.”

Wait. Justin Bieber’s defense is going to be he never hangs out backstage after a show? Never? Wow. I’ve been hoping this kid turns out to be his for purely comedic purposes, but now I’m actually starting to believe this chick. And to add to that, here’s an entirely fishy report that claims the Maple Son of Man was the one doing the raping, but keep in mind it’s by way of Truthquake.com, the same people who claimed Lady GaGa bathes in human blood per her Satanic orders from the Illuminati. So completely legitimate journalists is what I’m saying:

A freelance journalist who works for Reuters and the Chicago Tribune said that when he was researching the Bieber-Yeater incident, he could not find any pictures from after the concert, which are usually available.
He contacted his friend who was the photographer at the event, and he said he was paid $200,000 by Bieber’s handlers for pictures of the singer after the October 25, 2010 Los Angeles Staples Center concert covered with sweat, his t-shirt ripped and his hair out of place.
It seemed the handlers wanted to ensure these photos would never seen by the public.

And why didn’t they want those pics getting out? RAPE- Oh, right, I already said that part:

“He’s raping me!” Mariah Yeater screamed from backstage of the Staples Center, according to our sources.
No police or security responded to her screams.
When Yeater later reported the incident to Staples Center security, she was left waiting in an office for over four hours.
Frustrated, she left the arena and never reported the incident, said the sources.

Again, this is coming from the Illuminati kooks, but assuming it’s true, in Mariah Yeater’s defense, after you report the incident solely to a group of security guards whose families Justin Bieber essentially feeds by filling the Staples Center each night, you’ve pretty much exhausted all legal recourse. Because it’s not like there’s a department of people who could’ve used her cooch full of evidence to place Justin Bieber in some sort of “prison” for lack of a better term. So it’s good she went home and let it gestate to full term before taking another crack at it in court. Also, smart of her to wait until the kid’s three months old in case it had SIDS which really avoids a whole bunch of embarrassment. “Your honor, my client requests- No, wait, baby just died. Shit.



  1. Been waiting all week! First!!!

  2. Cock Dr

    A simple DNA test will shine the harsh light of truth on all these allegations.
    If someone will hold down the Maple Christ I’ll get the swab stick.

  3. Richard McBeef

    alright. i’m no bieber fan, but that kid didn’t fucking rape anybody. somebody should punch that bitch in the stomach and kick her in the head. bieber can bang pretty much any girl between the ages of 14 and 18, but he and his 110lb frame forcibly raped Fugly McWeirdhips backstage while everybody watched? My ass. My fucking ass.

    she’s either complete lying slut trying to make a dime or she’s just a slut that bieber banged and she’s trying to make a dime.

    • Cock Dr

      You left out a likely possibility: this woman is profoundly mentally ill and actually believes her own delusions. The baby’s father is probably a family member or some random hookup.

    • maeby

      Those hips really are weird… But agreed, no way this tiny man raped anybody. She’s like three times his size anyway.

    • I totally believe that Wimpy McBieberStickArms completely overpowered this chick who weighs twice what he does, and planted his seed in her womb with glorious vengeance. It all makes so much sense!

    • Dan

      First, I don’t believe this story at all either.

      Second, people don’t rape people because of lack of sex. They rape people because they enjoy the feeling of *forced* power and control over someone. They are really two way different things.

      • Michelle

        Yeah let’s turn this into a debate about what rape is about. You know this is Bieber article on Superficial, right?

      • Richard McBeef

        Well that explains why you rape grandmothers, Dan. I thought you just wanted the sex.

      • Mike Walker

        Dan is right. Rape has nothing to do with sex… except for the part where you thrust your erect penis back and forth into a woman’s vagina until you orgasm and ejaculate. Except for that part, it’s all about power and control.

    • I totally believe Nostrils McPearShapes is making the whole thing up.


    This chick has to outwiegh thatbird chested Beiber wimp by at leastg thirty lbs. She wanted it.i

  5. Inge

    Beaver, oh beaver

  6. Dragon

    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Mariah-Yeater/168720629889285 Her Facebook follower page.. go a lil ways down and she tells what happened on that night after the concert

    • Mark Zuckerberg

      “He started touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to lick my femininity. When they asked to put a condom to protect himself, but he insisted that he wanted. In his own words he said it was the first time you want to feel everything. “

      • Frank Burns

        Must have been a break in there somewhere while they both consulted a dictionary to see what “femininity” means, followed by an argument about which one of them is actually more feminine. Then, drunky sex!

    • This chick is nuttier than Weston Cage.

    • TomFrank

      You will also note that the post just below that has a picture of Bieber and is titled “My future husband ♥” followed by a long string of attention-whore posts. Either this woman is delusional, just wants the attention of everyone in the world, or is about to win a bet with her friends on which of them can get the most Facebook friends and Twitter followers.

    • Mike Walker

      Obvious fake account…

  7. I’m still just so baffled by what her intentions are here. She’s demanding a paternity test which is reeeeaaally dicey because, you know, they’re accurate and may/probably will make her look like a crazyperson when it turns out to be negative. And, let’s pretend that she’s not insane and, somehow, it turns out to be a positive test… somehow… then she’s in trouble for statutory rape. Either way, I hope that kid gets taken away; the last thing he needs to grow up with is this already-haggard 20-yr-old wistfully looking at Bieber posters his whole life and telling him “Yer famous daddy never loved you…”

  8. Even if it’s true that this kid stuck his penis up this white trash’s cunt, there is no way Usher’s poop got her pregnant.

  9. Sensei John Kreese

    They just need to settle it on ‘Maury’.

    Never gets old:


  10. ace11

    Hope it is True

    This little arrogant s**t acts like he knows everything

  11. Fester

    Photo: The Maple Christ poses with one of his Immaculate Sperm. Apparently His testicles are like the Tardis… MUCH larger on the inside.

  12. This story has more legs than I initially gave it credit for. We might get another week or more entertainment out of it.

    Fact: Bieber is now the first teenage boy in history to DENY getting laid at 13 with an older chick…who you haven’t met…she lives in Canada.

  13. cc

    I suspect this is another Keanu Reaves case. Remember that batshit crazy bitch in Ontario, Canada that pursed him in court for year claiming one of her kids was his? And, as it turned out, there wasn’t a shred of truth to it? I should note she was a horrendous cow to.

  14. What’s going on with that beluga? is it melting? Or could they not find one, and just painted a dolphin white for Justin to play with? The only other reasonable explanation for the strands of milky white in the water are too sexy to contemplate.

  15. Guest

    I’m pretty sure he would not fuck her ugly ass.

  16. Venom

    No one raped anyone. Just get the DNA test and get this over with already.
    CSI would have had this wrapped up within 45 mins of the first announcement. lol

  17. After seeing pictures of the Maple Christ healing sick Beluga whales while on tour…who wouldn’t want to have his baby?

    Bieber pulls some trim, but not skank trim.

  18. Snaggletooth

    This chick is a master troll…

  19. LJ

    So basically Bieber is saying “Why would I bang some local skank backstage when I have hot hookers waiting in the car when the show ends.”

  20. terry

    I believe he fucked a groupie,in general, but without protection would be crazy. I just can’t picture that feminine looking bitch rocking a piece of ass. Especially the one on Ms.Yeater.

  21. SFRowGuy

    Me thinks the money/fame-grubbing bitch ho … I mean Ms.Yeater, forgot since she is the adult and Justin is the minor that it’s she that is going to be in trouble with the law not him.

  22. Schmidtler

    damn, see how Bieber is eyeing up that Beluga? he’s shifting into full on whale raping mode! swim away, whale! Swim away before you get raped!

  23. People’s Exhibit A:
    Mariah Yeater swimming with Justing Bieber.

  24. watson

    Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a positive on this paternity test. Please please please!

  25. zsiusa

    The woman looks like a crazy person.

  26. jk

    Whom. Who Raped Whom?

  27. MP

    What an idiotic article. And kudos on the baby comments. What a jackass.

  28. Jen

    It’s stupid how Superficial quotes publications and at the same time beats them down. So they want to use their articles but want the readers to think they’re above what they just printed?! There is no logic there. I believe Yeater.

  29. Heeeheh

    Bieber is gay.

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