Justin Bieber Taking DNA Test, Suing Mariah Yeater Into Next Week

November 7th, 2011 // 56 Comments
Remember This Insanity?
The Nude Justin & Selena Statue Read More »

With Mariah Yeater‘s entire paternity suit falling apart at the seams barely two days after going public, Justin Bieber (Seen above with Selena Gomez who, despite reports, did not dump him even though the 30 seconds of sex part sounded an awful lot like the premature maple syruper she’s grown to love.) has not only agreed to take a DNA test immediately upon returning to the states, but will actually remove Mariah Yeater’s pants just like she accused him of doing, only this time via a gigantic fucking lawsuit. TMZ reports:

Our sources say Justin’s lawyer, Howard Weitzman, contacted Yeater’s attorneys Friday and conveyed the DNA test WILL happen. We’re told Justin and his team are so serious … they directed Weitzman to find a lab to do the test and Weitzman has already selected one.
Once the test shows Justin is not the daddy, Justin and his team will sue her. We’re told Yeater’s lawyers appeared “nervous” when they heard the news. This may explain why Yeater’s lawyers went underground yesterday and did not return TMZ’s calls.
Sources say Bieber and his team think it’s important to file a lawsuit against Yeater to show there are consequences when somebody trumps up phony, hurtful allegations against a celebrity.

So that puts an end to that. Maple Christ will provide our mortal courts with his heavenly DNA, and Mariah Yeater will be forced to accuse whoever else she slept with 15 months ago of being the father. (Read: Cody Simpson’s next.) Which brings us right back to where we started: Accusing of Selena Gomez of being pregnant. Because if she’s so innocent, why won’t she pee in those cups I keep mailing her? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE?!

Photos: Flynet, Getty


  1. Michelle

    Suing her…..buwahahahhahahahha

    • peepeehead

      suing her for what? for claiming he could be the father of her child and wanting a dna test? he cant sue her for that.

      I know he raped her, hes a sociopath who gets whatever he wants.

      • Serious?

        Are you trolling or just stupid? I highly doubt it was rape since she was willing, FROM HER OWN DESCRIPTION, and claiming such things she’s been saying about him (false personal info) is something called false accusation which can damage a persons reputation. She wasted his time and money on a DNA test on a child that wasn’t his (I bet it isn’t). Look up the law from time to time so you don’t look like a fool, though your name has already accomplished that for you.

      • Burt

        “FROM HER OWN DESCRIPTION, and claiming such things she’s been saying about him (false personal info) is something called false accusation which can damage a persons reputation.”

        Only true if she’s lying about them hooking up.

      • Sloppy2nds

        Its Not him getting hit with RAPE it’s her, she was the older one here, she can face charges for that one for sure, if she is the mother of a mini- Bieber

  2. Sloppy seconds! Happy Monday!

  3. They have to get Maury to read the results on national TV.

    HAVE TO.

  4. God is Black

    Fuck this is a joke! If I was the Maple Christ and had access to 1000s of “Canadian Bacon” who would do anything to be with me, would I really fuck some really fugly tubby bitch with nails in her nose ? I would kick her in the cunt with my holy foot in scandals just to so she could tell her friends, “Yeah he touched me!” Me thinks Mariah tried to get blood($ or wine?) from the Maple Christ simply because she’s pregnant?

    • God is Black


    • Napoupi

      Have you ever seen Hugh Jackman’s wife ? Or Johnny Depp’s, for that matter. I think these two defeat your point entirely. Actually they beat it to a pulp with wrinkled faces and saggy boobs, and afterwards bite its dead body with oddly shaped teeth.

      • TomFrank

        Vanessa Paradis was really hot 10 years ago and is still a looker. As long as she doesn’t show her teeth.

      • God is Black

        touche but they never tried to squeeze Hugh’s nor Johnny’s balls financially just because they became pregnant? So 1/2 of my argument still is valid ; Maple Christ is her ticket($) from working class hell!

    • Dan

      I like chubby girls because they usually aren’t over-entitled bitches who think that the world should just give them everything because they are pretty like so called hot girls.

      • WhiteKnight

        Women are like that because men can’t control their hormones and think with their dick. Stop giving a hot girl attention and it will kill her ego.

  5. Napoupi

    That why I never let my pancake get washed up by a syrup I don’t know.

    At any rate, I wonder what will happen if it turns to be true. His reps say he’s in Europe which is why he can’t do the test now. I really wonder if he’s actually gonna do it, or if the whole thing is just gonna deflate like Tori Spelling’s boob, in sticky splash of maple syrup and secret agreement sauce.

    • Napoupi

      Please forgive the numerous and fugly spelling errors my comment contained (and I’m not talking about the old-man-balls-shaped boobs here, just the comment I wrote.)

  6. As much as I hate this little twit, I’m glad he’s suing the hell out of this Yeater chick. If there’s one this I hate more than celebs, it’s stupid, lazy sluts who think they can hitch up to any gravy train that rolls through town.

    That, and I love seeing stupidity get punished. It just doesn’t happen nearly enough in this world.

    • Jack Ketch

      My thoughts exactly !! Well put.

    • cc

      Agreed, I’d make her fucking life miserable if I was him.

    • sobrietyisacrutch

      “I love seeing stupidity get punished. It just doesn’t happen nearly enough in this world.”

      Greatest. Statement. Ever!

    • DavidJ

      Well said! Here, here!

    • LEB

      And I hate the rich, successful male celebs who see themselves as above the law just because they’re rich and successful. Powerful men (or boys, in JB’s case) get away with horrible things FAR more often than women get away with making false claims about them. Pretty much anytime a rich, powerful man is accused of improper behavior or a sexual crime, people rush to defend him and to slander her… and it doesn’t matter if he’s guilty or not, because even if he is, he’ll get away with it because he can afford expensive lawyers and a PR team to drum up sympathy for him and simultaneously humiliate her. Sports stars do it all the time.

  7. I hope he wins custody.

  8. KumaTenshi

    Agreed, can’t wait to see fame whore mcgee get the unholy crap sued out of her for being a big, stupid slut.

    The sooner people realize this shit NEVER works, the sooner we can stop having fame whores popping up all over the place. And the sooner we can stop hearing about Maple Christ.

    Also, can’t wait to see her parents publicly disowning her sorry ass for putting them through this shit.

  9. TomFrank

    “I don’t understand,” one of Yeater’s lawyers was overheard saying. “When someone tried this with Michael Jackson, making bullshit allegations about molestation, he threw money at them to make the charges go away. Why won’t Justin Bieber do the same thing?. . . Are you telling me that Michael Jackson did in fact touch those kids? My world just doesn’t make sense anymore.”

    • LEB

      Yeah, too bad about that inconvenient thing called DNA that proves if a child is biologically yours or not.

  10. Frank Burns

    Ever since breaking out into laughter when asked what her favorite Beiber song was, Selena resigned herself to being silently tugged quickly through press areas by the boyfriend who kept ‘borrowing’ her scarves and jewelry.

  11. ZigZagZoey

    Naw, she doesn’t look mad at all!

  12. Expert on Everything

    W/Michael Jackson’s molestation charge, accusations were enough to smear his image. Hence the money thrown at the accuser. W/pregnancy we have DNA provability. Why would this Mariah girl accuse Justin KNOWING FULL WELL that once she says it, IT will have to be proved. We all watch CSI. We know the existence of DNA testing. I am having a big problem with her making such a gigantic claim she knows will have to be proven. Even a total idiot wouldn’t go through the public scathing from falsely accusing a MAJOR icon like JB and suffering the life long razzing -even her baby -for the minuscule publicity this story is getting.
    As a mother of a HUGE Justin fan, if this chick is for real, I will be ripping the JB poster from my daughter’s wall. It’s not like I am not sure these rock stars have groupies, but to bring a child in the middle is grossly irresponsible and in such bad taste i wouldn’t allow anything JB near my little girl ever again.

    • Kevin

      I felt the same way…can this chick really be that stupid to bring a lawsuit if it isn’t true? But yeah…I think she’s that stupid. Statutory rape charges if she’s telling the truth and perjury/getting the shit sued out of her if shes lying. I don’t see how this could work out in her favor unless she ends up getting off and makes a ton of cash but I don’t see either because Biebs has was more money to spend on lawyers and she will fade fast when this is shown to be not true.

      • Burt

        Question is, did they do it? I don’t know the whole story, but my guess is that unless she’s mentally unstable, she probably has a good reason to believe he’s the father.

  13. Will they be drawing blood for his sample or will he be masturbating into a cup?

  14. The point everyone is missing is that it’s not unusual for women to become spontaneously impregnated if Justin looks into their eyes while singing. If she was in the first 3 rows then this is totally possible.

  15. Venom

    Suing her will only work if he is not the father….
    What is he going to sue her for, the zero dollars that she has?

    He is only going to make his attorney richer and in the end I am not even sure that he has a valid lawsuit. She just stated that she slept with him and that he might be the father of her child and wanted a DNA test. Can he disprove that he had sex with her, because if he did, then she has valid grounds to claim that the child might be his.

    I highly doubt her attorneys looked nervous and went into hiding, that is a load of BS. TMZ always trying to sensationalize things.

    • Frari

      He’s not sueing her for money, he’s sueing her to stop other stupid sluts from trying the same thing.

    • Dan

      I don’t think he will actually sue her. I think he is saying that to look good until this blows over.

      He will take the test. It will be negative. People will go on talking about how wonderful is. Mariah Yeater will always be known as the slutty girl who claimed she took Maple Christs virginity when he raped her and made a baby.

  16. Jake

    “Once the test shows Justin is not the daddy, Justin and his team will sue her. We’re told Yeater’s lawyers appeared “nervous” when they heard the news. This may explain why Yeater’s lawyers went underground yesterday and did not return TMZ’s calls.”

    I’m sure that’s why they didn’t return TMZ’s calls. It has nothing to do with it being… I dunno… that it’s TMZ? Because if I’m trying to sue a celebrity and have people take me seriously, TMZ is the FIRST people I’m returning phone calls to. Hell, I’d hire them as my publicist.


    • Burt

      TMZ, the website who spread the story that he was bullied by–get this–an elementary school kid, to make him look like a victim in a fight he had when witnesses say they had simply bumped into each other and the younger kid overreacted and claimed he had been shoved.

  17. BrandiLye

    I think Justin’s downfall may be that little Hispanic chick that is standing behind him, biding her time.

    Just sayin.

  18. Arzach

    The child is his, that’s how I read this, and mark my words but that DNA test is not going public ever because they are going to give the bitch a shitload of money to shut her up

    • Burt

      That or it isn’t his but she’s got proof they were together and she’ll still get money to shut her up. The lawsuit will never happen. Story will get forgotten, and he’ll keep on singing insipid songs to 13 year-old girls…That or she’s mad as a hatter.

  19. LEB

    He should have no right to sue, unless he can prove without a shadow of a doubt that he had never been sexually involved with her… like he was in Peoria for three months during the time she got pregnant and therefore his penis and her vagina weren’t even in the same state.

    If she believes that he could be the father, he should shut up and take the stupid test (demanding one is his right), and if it proves he’s not the father, then he should move on with his life, NOT try to humiliate her any worse than she already would be. If she did actually have sex with him and it turns out that the father is another guy, the whole country is going to call her a slut and say terrible things about her… so why add a lawsuit on top of that?

  20. 445-Castel Luck

    Selena Gomez is so hot, but man… these situations has gone way too far!

  21. Andrea

    I cannot omg justin I love you but why you did this I think your fans don’t like this at all I haven’t go to your concert I dont even no where is it but I beg my mom for it I am so pest of about this I love you I might not like Selena but she’s might do the right thing to break up with you but mairah she’s a stupid bitch I am so sick of this but I think you not the father

  22. Andrea veras

    I love you Justin bieber

  23. canuck

    lol this is the stupidest thing i have ever seen masquerading as news. lets face it, if he is the father of the kid, he deserves to pay, plain and simple. if he is not, then why sue? she is going to be humiliated enough and not only that but his fame is getting a huge boost out of it!

  24. brIdget

    this girl is like my hero! even if its not true who in the world would have the guts to do this??? I love JB but I gotta give Mariah props!!!!

  25. Justin Bieber Selena Gomez Still Together Holding Hands
    Commented on this photo:

    i love selena she is so cute

Leave A Comment