Justin Bieber Banged Kylie Jenner

Earlier in the week, Selena Gomez stopped following Kendall and Kylie Jenner on Instagram which, let’s be honest, was probably the most earth-shattering news ever reported on this site. I heard somebody died just reading it. Except now we know the reason for that, so all of us can finally sleep at night without doing things for strangers for Ambien money. Unspeakable things. With honey mustard… Via Hollywood Life:

“Selena is convinced something has gone on between Justin and Kylie,” The Sun’s source claims. “At Coachella, [Justin and Selena] looked to be back on track. Selena was hanging out with Kylie too and they were behaving like best friends.” It’s true — they were even sharing clothes!
“Then [Selena] heard stuff about Justin and Kylie and felt totally betrayed. She went berserk and called it all off again,” their source added. “Selena is in a really bad place at the moment — she’s on the edge and now overcome with jealousy. She really needs to wash her hands of Justin for good.”

Now, I know what you’re thinking, Justin Bieber isn’t African-American so right off the bat this is impossible. However, he is retardedly rich, and Kylie fell out of Kris Jenner’s vagina, so all the pieces are in place for him to offer a sizable amount to prove his blackness to the world. He probably wrote “Gud 4 1 nigga pass” in the memo of the check before signing it “Bizzle: Da Bill Cosby Bastard.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News, WENN