Justin Bieber Banged Kylie Jenner

April 24th, 2014 // 27 Comments
No, Not Instagram!
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Earlier in the week, Selena Gomez stopped following Kendall and Kylie Jenner on Instagram which, let’s be honest, was probably the most earth-shattering news ever reported on this site. I heard somebody died just reading it. Except now we know the reason for that, so all of us can finally sleep at night without doing things for strangers for Ambien money. Unspeakable things. With honey mustard… Via Hollywood Life:

“Selena is convinced something has gone on between Justin and Kylie,” The Sun‘s source claims. “At Coachella, [Justin and Selena] looked to be back on track. Selena was hanging out with Kylie too and they were behaving like best friends.” It’s true — they were even sharing clothes!
“Then [Selena] heard stuff about Justin and Kylie and felt totally betrayed. She went berserk and called it all off again,” their source added. “Selena is in a really bad place at the moment — she’s on the edge and now overcome with jealousy. She really needs to wash her hands of Justin for good.”

Now, I know what you’re thinking, Justin Bieber isn’t African-American so right off the bat this is impossible. However, he is retardedly rich, and Kylie fell out of Kris Jenner‘s vagina, so all the pieces are in place for him to offer a sizable amount to prove his blackness to the world. He probably wrote “Gud 4 1 nigga pass” in the memo of the check before signing it “Bizzle: Da Bill Cosby Bastard.”

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News, WENN


  1. kenny

    Wouldn’t this be statutory rape if true?

    • JC

      It would depend on the state in which the lesbian sex occurred. In California, yes, since the age of consent is 18 unless the “adult” is less than 3 years older than the minor, i.e., Kylie, at 16, could legally bang a 19-year-old, but not Bieber.

      Of course, nothing would probably happen unless the parents got involved and wanted to press charges which ha ha ha HA HA HA HAHA….

      • Greg

        And you know, if it happened Kris Jenner was there video taping and directing the action.

      • “For god’s sake, Justin! Put those tears away and just give it to her!”

      • JC, you’re assuming that this supposed Kylie-Bieber hookup occurred recently, and not, say, four years ago when Bieber and Kim Kardashian were spotted together and everyone wondered if they were dating—not giving a thought to the possibility that Kim was arranging an assignation between Justin and her sister in true pimp-Kardashian style. Yeah, it’s still a little skeezy for a 16-year-old to knock boots with a 13-year-old, but the legal system isn’t about to go after two underage teens getting it on.

  2. Yeah

    “Then [Selena] heard stuff about… felt totally betrayed. She went berserk…”

    Jesus. Who writes this shit? A gaggle of 14-year-old girls?

    This Selena Gomez character is fucking embarrassing. Good luck getting any legit acting jobs, ya nitwit.

  3. So basically this explains his recent attempts to turn himself into a black man and it paid off I guess.

    I can somehow imagine Kris Jenner screaming at her girls every morning,

    “Now I want you to go out there and get pregnant by a rich man, by any means necessary and if you can get them to marry you, that’s a plus! Now get out there and work or Pimp Momma Kris does not eat”

  4. I guess this means that Kris’ small assed daughters are into white dudes.

    • You mean also into white dudes, maybe, because Kendall’s last boyfriend was black and even though Jaden Smith is a piece of shit, last time I checked he is still black.

  5. “Wash her hands” of Bieber?

    I think a more thorough cleaning might be in order.

  6. Burt


  7. That’s make sense psychology says that women marry men that looks like their father, so Bruce is 2 surgeries away from being a woman now Kylie is dating a girl :)

  8. CK

    Sizzurp is a helluva drug

  9. Kylie Jenner Henna Belly Tattoo Butt Legs Tight Miniskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Not unlike Henna tattoos, The Biebs’ “Maple Drizzle” stays on the body for days.

  10. anonym

    kids and their drama

  11. Kylie Jenner Henna Belly Tattoo Butt Legs Tight Miniskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s next? Is her spine gonna start glowing?

  12. That’s what she gets for going back to that asshole after all the Brazilian hookers and everything else. Some people just have to learn the hard way.

  13. Marketing Mike

    I guess Beiber didn’t notice the camera crew in his hotel room,
    or Kris clicking a white board that said “RAPE TRIAL EPISODES”.

  14. ace11

    who is brody jenner banging?

  15. kery

    How can Kylie be so bad friend? You can’t do that to Selena. But that’s possible true ’cause the kardashians aren’t decents and don’t have class…

  16. Urbanspaceman

    Why is this young woman famous? Oh yeah, one of her mother’s other daughters got p’d on in a video.

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