Kourtney Kardashian ‘Used’ Justin Bieber, Aww, Is Hims Okay?

Because crushing my dreams in the most dick-filled ways possible is God’s favorite, Justin Bieber spent the fall shoving his depressingly large penis into Kourtney Kardashian. Except it turns out she wasn’t banging him because of his fame, fortune, and swagger, but because it would make Scott Disick jealous. They say Justin’s heart broke into a thousand pieces that day, each one thinking it was blacker than the other, naw mean? PEOPLE reports:

I’m being used, man. What can I say?” Bieber says on the radio show, jokingly responding to a headline. That’s when host Bert Weiss asks, “Anything there?” Bieber replies, “Nah, we’ll leave it at that.”

Since I’m a human being and not a pillar of cold, blogging steel – just mostly – I’m actually going to sympathize with Justin Bieber because I, too, know what it’s like to see a large pair of breasts naked only to have their owner tell me it was a terrible mistake that will haunt her for the rest of her life, but the good news is she finally quit drinking! That shit stings no matter how rich or poor you are, so the important thing is to get back out there and– fucking Hailey Baldwin? Already? I spent weeks crying in a Honda Civic, you bastard, I’LL KILL YOU!

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Photos: AKM-GSI, FameFlynet