Justin Bieber is Fulfilling Prophecies Now

April 13th, 2011 // 65 Comments

In case there wasn’t enough evidence that Justin Bieber truly is the Messiah sent to earth from… Canada, he’s in Israel right now where, according to the New York Times, he’s either afraid of going near children blown up by rockets because he’s a pansy (It’s only a rocket.), or he wants to but that means he can’t sit in his hotel room pouting on the Internet about people wanting to take his picture. Which is what he did:

- You would think paparazzi would have some respect in holy places. All I wanted was the chance to walk where jesus did here in isreal.
- They should be ashamed of themselves. Take pictures of me eating but not in a place of prayer, ridiculous
- People wait their whole lives for opportunities like this, why would they want to take that experience away from someone
- i want to see this country and all the places ive dreamed of and whether its the paps or being pulled into politics its been frustrating

In Justin’s defense, this trip doesn’t sound anything like the way he originally planned it:

“When you see Jerusalem being surrounded by armies, you will know that its desolation is near. Then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains, let those in the city get out, and let those in the country not enter the city. For this is the time of punishment in fulfillment of all that has been written. How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers! There will be great distress in the land and wrath against this people. They will fall by the sword and will be taken as prisoners to all the nations. Jerusalem will be trampled on by the Gentiles until the times of the Gentiles are fulfilled.
“There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken. At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”

Did he at least get to descend from a cloud? What about a really tall balcony? An abnormally high stool? Goddammit, the paparazzi. Can’t you see the poor kid’s trying to make an entire Jewish nation burn in a lake of fire so they’ll finally recognize his divinity? I usually back you guys up on these things, but sonofabitch.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Splash News, WENN


  1. Here’s hoping some palestinian’s nearby dropping a mortar into its barrel..

  2. Dan

    Beiber – stop whining you little bitch. You wanted to be famous. Now you are. You have to take the good with the bad.

  3. WhatAJoke

    This kid must bathe in a bathtub full of douche water.

  4. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Kid in the back “OMG! Justin Bieber!”

  5. JC

    So he has so much respect for the Holy Land that he wanders around there with a Family Guy necklace and a baseball cap on backwards? Someone crucify this twat.

    • margucha

      these pictures are not from Israel…
      the police man here don’t wear hats, and besides police=משטרה not what is said on the hat

      • JC

        So he has so much respect for our fragile planet in general that he wanders around there with a Family Guy necklace and a baseball cap on backwards? Someone crucify this twat.

    • Drew

      My thoughts exactly. I wouldn’t expect him to dress in the regional garb, but good lord. Don’t expect anyone to take your petty little whines seriously if that’s how you want to present yourself. As long as you continue presenting yourself as a child, you’re going to be treated as such.

    • margucha

      yes he is!!!

  6. Satan's bitch

    Our next Jesus is a whiny ass little twatling who apparently isn’t capable of thinking his way around his fame, or at least hiring people to show him how to be mature enough to handle it.

    I’d rather stay right here in hell, thanks.

  7. Clarence Beeks

    Fucking idiot can’t even spell Israel. Go back to school, you stupid douchebag.

  8. Deacon Jones

    How bout we let the Palestinians take it back and save ourselves 8 million per day in aid?

  9. Nothing says Jesus like Stewie bling. He’s the white man’s Flavor Flav.

  10. AlexK

    Everyone remember what happened to the last guy who was in Jerusalem and claimed he was the messiah? Maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll nail this little shit to a cross too. His mother claims he’s the messiah, let’s test it out.

  11. Can this gay please get his own identity?

  12. Ed

    boo friggin hoo

  13. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    …and I bet he’s got a little wee-wee, too.

  14. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if it’s that black guy’s job to keep break him in for Usher.

  15. In every photo like this, there is ALWAYS a multiracial 12 year old in the background, saying it all with his eyes.

    hattip: McFeely

  16. Ponkur

    Kid behind him:
    “OMG, is that Samantha Ronson?”

  17. Crabby Old Guy

    Whoa…the next Christ comes with back bacon and a toque? Holy Crumbs! How ’bout dem Mapleleafs, eh?! No go sit and give me twenty, “Hail Justin’s Mom”.

  18. Greg Suarez

    ♫♫♫ Who’s that lady? ♫♫♫

  19. Tony

    Why are his pants so shiny? I can see myself in them. No, wait I mean, fuck, forget it.

    • Andrew

      i agree. he’s wearing those leather (probably fake leather at that, fucking peta bullshit.) pants like some metro-sexual douchebag. you know the ones. “i want to look gay, but i’m not gay, it’s me supporting homosexuals… but really its just because chicks dig gay guys. and cmon, what’s better than a gay guy to a girl? a gay guy that would enjoy fucking them. ohhhh yeaaaaaaah”
      JB… one letter off of his initials. btw.
      i really hope this kids the anti christ. (that bastard is supposed to appear as a new messiah. or something.) too bad he doesn’t seem intelligent enough to do it.

  20. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me that’s an “Against All Odds” “Phil Collins” tattoo…

  21. Bucky Barnes

    Much as I hate this punk I’ll give him one point for the Stewie Griffin necklace. So, on a scale of zero to ten with zero representing “deserves immediate obliteration” and ten meaning “deserves to live” Bieber scores a one, which buys him five additional minutes of life. Yeah I know, I’m spoiling the kid…

    • Bucky Barnes

      On the other hand, it’s an automatic five point deduction if Stewie has ever been used as a butt plug. Bieber is toast.

  22. I get it now…
    His mommy was the first one to paint his toenails pink, now it’s all the rage!

  23. whiskeyafternoon

    is Israel run by 10 year old girls now? why any politician of any significance would voluntarily spend 3 minutes with this donkey rectum is beyond my comprehension. what are they going to discuss? the Balfour declaration? how awesome Canada is?

  24. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    What an idiot. He has his biblical israel locked in his brain confused with the israel of today, which is a terrorist aggressor who has done far worse to the Palestinians than they could ever do to them. Thats how Christians get confused, they equate the Israel of their bibles to the Israel of today. They’re mindfucked from the get-go. Poor fucks.

  25. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    if only he could be the burning bush

  26. Stewie is less of a cartoon than this kid.

  27. Jovy

    I can’t get over that little fruitcakes excited expression….the kid behind him looks pretty damned pleased as well.

  28. willow

    Havent the jews suffered enought? He’s like the 11th plague of passover…

  29. The Critical Crassness

    Justin Beiber is a prime example of what happens to a child when they are allowed to nurse from their mommie’s breasts until they are 16.

  30. “- You would think paparazzi would have some respect in holy places. All I wanted was the chance to moonwalk where Jesus died here in Israel.”

  31. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Chains? Leather pants? This kid knows he’s white, right?

  32. Colin

    So now he wears necklaces of cartoon characters? Why is that a thing? He’s a few douchey steps away from being Chris Brown.

  33. Anonymous

    Just a worthless little poser.

  34. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground.

  35. VandaL

    The cunt will be crying for ‘paps’ to follow him in a year once everyone (else) is sick of him. The sooner the fuckin’ better for me.

  36. VandaL

    That actually did make me lol

  37. VandaL

    That was to Rubber

  38. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look Daddy, it’s the Messiah!”

  39. Carlos Tovar

    He looks like Jordon Van Der Sloot…or what ever his name was

  40. Lita

    Somebody needs to inform him that he ain’t no gangsta.

  41. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Lessons on how to be Edgy by Taylor Momsen

    *buy Hot Topic card, but don’t tell anybody, too mainstream
    *Dress in super tight clothing
    *Wear sure sign of Evil
    *Tatted boyfriend, but denounce his dick later
    *Sidelong glance to make sure Parents are watching

  42. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    I seriously want to slap the white off this kid.

  43. keepourmoney

    Look at that face on that fat little jew

  44. SuperT

    A proposition:
    The first side to take out this little shit gets Gaza.
    Bam Nobel peace prize

  45. Burt

    How did the paparazzi find out he was traveling there in the first place? He can’t go anywhere without trying to attract attention to himself. His publicist probably tipped off the paparazzi.

  46. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Diamond encrusted Stevie buttplug sales have, for some reason, decreased drastically…

  47. Jump

    this kid is one amazing d-bag. I know that’s not news, and its not gonna make him stop being one, but damn,….what a freakin puzzy.

    Home Alone 5

  48. kendrachanae

    He’s finally growing up!!!! Thank God, because how long till that lil whiny voice becomes bass?

  49. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    lol look at the kid in the back

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