Justin Bieber is Fulfilling Prophecies Now

In case there wasn’t enough evidence that Justin Bieber truly is the Messiah sent to earth from… Canada, he’s in Israel right now where, according to the New York Times, he’s either afraid of going near children blown up by rockets because he’s a pansy (It’s only a rocket.), or he wants to but that means he can’t sit in his hotel room pouting on the Internet about people wanting to take his picture. Which is what he did:

- You would think paparazzi would have some respect in holy places. All I wanted was the chance to walk where jesus did here in isreal.
– They should be ashamed of themselves. Take pictures of me eating but not in a place of prayer, ridiculous
– People wait their whole lives for opportunities like this, why would they want to take that experience away from someone
– i want to see this country and all the places ive dreamed of and whether its the paps or being pulled into politics its been frustrating

In Justin’s defense, this trip doesn’t sound anything like the way he originally planned it:

“When you see Jerusalem being surrounded by armies, you will know that its desolation is near. Then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains, let those in the city get out, and let those in the country not enter the city. For this is the time of punishment in fulfillment of all that has been written. How dreadful it will be in those days for pregnant women and nursing mothers! There will be great distress in the land and wrath against this people. They will fall by the sword and will be taken as prisoners to all the nations. Jerusalem will be trampled on by the Gentiles until the times of the Gentiles are fulfilled.
“There will be signs in the sun, moon and stars. On the earth, nations will be in anguish and perplexity at the roaring and tossing of the sea. People will faint from terror, apprehensive of what is coming on the world, for the heavenly bodies will be shaken. At that time they will see the Son of Man coming in a cloud with power and great glory. When these things begin to take place, stand up and lift up your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.”

Did he at least get to descend from a cloud? What about a really tall balcony? An abnormally high stool? Goddammit, the paparazzi. Can’t you see the poor kid’s trying to make an entire Jewish nation burn in a lake of fire so they’ll finally recognize his divinity? I usually back you guys up on these things, but sonofabitch.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Splash News, WENN