‘And Then Did the Maple Christ Child Feed the Multitudes With But One Pringles Can’

April 14th, 2011 // 31 Comments

Justin Bieber is currently in Israel this week where he’s already complained about the paparazzi not respecting “places of prayer” by taking pictures of him trying to “walk where Jesus walked.” Which is hilarious considering I don’t try to walk where Batman walks a.) He expected dignity from a group of people who get paid extra for taking pictures of women’s sex organs as they’re getting out of cars. (And God bless them for that.), and b.) here he is crunching Pringles on holy land while children are being blown up by rockets in the distance. I’m no biblical scholar, but I’m pretty sure Jesus would be doing his best to help the sick and poor instead of whining about rich people problems like having his picture taken. Also, he told me in a dream he likes Baked Lays, so that has to be true.

Photos: WENN

superficial

  1. Casey

    Nice camera.

  2. the middle east has some of the healthiest food on the planet, so why not just bring junk there from america

  3. Richard McBeef

    nice capri pants pussy

  4. Katt

    What’s up with the Superficial writer constantly mocking Bieber’s faith? Comparing him to Jesus and that ridiculous post from earlier about Israel. So what if the kid believes in something. Shouldn’t we all?

  5. Anon

    Does Biebs have a tattoo on his knee? I can’t tell.

  6. The Critical Crassness

    Justin Beiber and his new boyfriend having a picnic in Isreal?
    Sorry, Selena but it looks like Justin is now sharing his chips with someone new.

  7. the dreidel maker

    if he was a true child of the land that flows with milk and honey, he would wash down those chips with the blood of a Palestinian baby

  8. Justin Bieber Israel
    MegaCharlie
    Commented on this photo:

    Fun Fact: The Holy Land is surprisingly very accepting of lesbians.
    Pocket pool, however, is generally frowned upon.

  9. Shitler

    Step One, you cut a hole in the pringle’s can
    Step Two, you put your junk in the can
    Step Three, you offer pringle’s to Usher

  10. Cock Dr

    I always thought of jeezus as more of a Cool Ranch Doritos kinda guy.

  11. Cher X

    He so Pringles. Where his curly mustache at?

  12. Expect more hijinks when he comes back complaining that there were too many Jews.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Or issues a statement that the Jews had it coming in WWII because they weren’t from Canada, which is after all the best country in the world…not a war-ridden combat zone like Israel.

  13. Justin Bieber Israel
    S'up Bitches!
    Commented on this photo:

    Seems like a nice group of fellas. Too bad the dude with the tat is going to hell.

  14. Justin Bieber Israel
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    Chris Brown went with him? Careful Middle Eastern ladies. He’ll smack you right through your veil.

  15. the elders of Zion

    Bieber is uncircumcised for he is a barbarian

  16. the captain

    BeeWieBieber gave a Blowjob for the first time out in the woods………….

  17. Mike Oxbhig

    ” …while children are being blown up by rockets in the distance.”

    If youre referring to “palestinian” children, who cares? They are future terrorists born to nomads that were kicked out of every other country in the Middle East.

    There is NO SUCH PLACE as “palestine”…its a fictitious section of land that is nothing but “a wretched hive of scum and villainy” with sub humans that have become bargaining chips for backwards ass countries that live the same way they did 2000 yrs ago. NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THEM.

    • Doc Schweinstrudel

      Yeah, spoken like a real zionist soulless arrogant moron! HATE YOU GUYS

      • Mike Oxbhig

        @ Doc Schweinstrudel

        Im actually of Egyptian descent, so nice try with the zionist bullshit.

        Is that all you ignorant, geographically retarded pacifists have to say when someone speaks the truth about this fictitious piece of land that ALL of you liberal white americans act like is some sacred place?

        It was/ is a dumping ground for all the convicts/criminals/rapists/pedophiles that other Middle Eastern countries want out of their jails…always has been.

        If your sources for news were something besides the NYT or NBC, youd know this.

        Rachel Corrie was a great example of what should be done to everyone there. Fertilizer…

  18. Banquo

    I’d like to think (if there is a god) the conversation on judgement day would go:

    God: “Ok, lets see all the time you could have been using your fortune and fame you bought a bunch of religious idols, didn’t actually read or understand anything I said, Oh and here you went to the holy land to “walk where jesus walked” so basically you treat jesus just like the paperazzi treat you, you want to walk where he walks, touch his shit, get pictures of the places he went/lived etc. and if he was alive you’d be paying for up close shots of him having breakfast. Also what the hell is up with your hair, if you combed it OUT OF YOUR EYE you wouldn’t squint and blink so much. Ok, I’m turning you over to Ganesh he’s going to send you back to earth as an ad executive, if you can come back from that you might have a chance to get into heaven. I won’t hold my breath.”

    The Bieber: “Are you Santa?”

  19. He needs to swap that Dodgers cap for a Maple Leafs sweater and a slab of back bacon. Hey hoser, who do you think you’re fooling, ‘eh?

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