Aww. Justin Bieber Got His First Arranged Girlfriend.
With Demi Lovato on her way to becoming Dominick Lovato and Miley Cyrus unable to meet a camera phone she won’t throw her career away in front of, the stage was set for Selena Gomez to become the first marketing-approved girlfriend for Justin Bieber to pretend he’ll lose his virginity to. Here they are in Miami over the weekend where they were actually naive enough to believe their publicists didn’t call every single paparazzi in the state twice. This resulted in a series of shots of them fleeing where you can literally see Justin bail on Selena like the awkward gentleman we all were at 16.
JUSTIN: Quick. We’re gonna have to separate. You go that way while I run to Kim Kardashian’s house and pay her for a handjob.
JUSTIN: I can have you killed.
Haha! Just like prom. On that note, want to avoid an uncontrollable urge to punch a minor to death because you spent 80% of high school playing Magic: The Gathering? Don’t click here.