ALL HAIL #BBARE THE #TEFLONG #DONG

July 10th, 2014 // 17 Comments

Ahem. Break it off:

Let me explain y’all mothafuckas how da world works.

If my boy wants to race through Miami with a sho-dee ridin’ shotgun in a Lambo. #Yalldealwiddit
If my boy want to violate da rules and reggae nations of airline travel. #Yalldealwiddit
If my boy needs to drain his dang-o-lang in a poh-leese station. #Yalldealwiddit
If my boy wants to address his people with a word his people gotdamn took back. #Yalldealwiddit
And if my boy needs to egg some cracka’s house for failin’ to recognize da King of Ontario-Town?


#YALL #DEAL #WIDD #IT

From dat Sex In Da City bitch’s mouf. (Get it? Cuz she a horse? — Man, fuck y’all.)

Justin Bieber will be charged Wednesday with misdemeanor vandalism for egging his neighbor’s house.
The L.A. County District Attorney will file the charge … after months of trying to decide whether to file the case as a misdemeanor or a felony. …
One prosecutor who investigated the case told the victim of the attack, “If this isn’t a felony, nothing is.”
Apparently the big wigs in the office disagreed.

Y’all just dealt widdit. #CHURCH

Photo: FAMA/AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Short Round

    Classic, Fish. Your work is done for today.

  2. I’d love to Slam his head into concrete a few times until I see the white meat.

    • Dox

      Nah…. by now he’s sporting a nasty case of herpes. His life is a cautionary tale, his family cares about him because he has money, and he lost the only stable relationship he had.

      At this point, his slow spiral into rehab and reality tv is almost assured. Assuming of course he doesn’t wind up dead from an overdose, car accident, plane crash, or random meteor falling from the sky.

  3. Monoline

    I’m sorry but under what circumstances should egging a house be a felony?

    “One prosecutor who investigated the case told the victim of the attack, “If this isn’t a felony, nothing is.””

    Jesus this country is fucking insane.

    • If my memories of my Grand Jury Duty are correct: if damages caused by vandalism are over $400 the person is charged with a felony.

      Repair of the damages to the multi-million dollar home were over $80,000.

  4. I can work with that photo for my fantasy involving Biebs and a thompson automatic submachine gun with a 50 round drum magazine.

    • Short Round

      I’d go with the FN P90. It’s not genre appropriate but has the same 50 round magazine and the bullets fracture within the body reducing collateral damage. It’s like taking out the trash but in a green environment friendly bag.

  5. Justin Bieber Khalil Sharieff Big Booty Ho Yacht Party
    Bob J
    Commented on this photo:

    Pull up your pants, freak. They won’t let you dress like that in rehab!

  6. Justin Bieber Khalil Sharieff Big Booty Ho Yacht Party
    Errol Flynn
    Commented on this photo:

    Quite the party. They’re all on their cell phones…texting….the conversations would be titillating, diverse…inspiring….

  7. Swearin

    Can we just get a crooked IRS agent to play with his taxes? Because at this point I think the only way this kid’s going down is if he gets Capone’d real good.

  8. Justin Bieber Khalil Sharieff Big Booty Ho Yacht Party
    Jaime
    Commented on this photo:

    Proof positive that money doesn’t buy happiness.

  9. Marketing Mike

    I think it’s time for an official Dead Pool on Teflong Dong.
    His enablers can evidently shield him from everything else.

  10. Massengill may sue for copyright infringement.

  11. Justin Bieber Khalil Sharieff Big Booty Ho Yacht Party
    Greenie
    Commented on this photo:

    When did cosplaying as Snooki become a thing?

  12. Justin Bieber Khalil Sharieff Big Booty Ho Yacht Party
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck I just got back from Miami and now you are telling me that there was a slim change I REALLY might have had a chance to punch him in the face?

    In any case, word of his assholishness must be getting around. If you are rich and famous in Miami and can’t do better than these women, something is wrong.

  13. Douche. It’s what’s for dinner.

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