Justin Bieber Got Drunk And Mooned A Mayan Temple

“Moms says my butt’s a wonder of the world, too, yo.”

Earlier today, British tabloids were reporting Justin Bieber got drunk and whipped his ass out while on top of an ancient Mayan temple in Tulum. Except now TMZ is confirming that shit totally went down, so remember when everyone was worried about the Mayan calendar and the serpent god Quetzalcoatl bathing our world in fire? That’s back on. That’s happening now. We all knew it was going to end like this.

Our sources say officials at the Mayan ruins were extremely upset with Bieber shortly after he arrived because he and his friends were walking around with open bottles of beer.
Bieber then climbed to the top of the ruins and mooned everyone, which enraged the already upset staff. We’re told Bieber and crew were asked to leave and did, but not before hurling insults at the staff.
Police were called but Bieber had left before they arrived.

In related news, Mel Gibson has been offered a chance to work in Hollywood again, but only if he can make that stuff happen where a jaguar bites a guy’s dick off like in Apocalypto. Preferably today. Or right now even.

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