Egging Was The Case That They Gave Biebs

June 16th, 2014 // 23 Comments
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Because the poh-leese ain’t got nuttin’ better to do then try and bring down The Teflon Don With A Giant King Dong, word on da streetz is my boy #BBare ’bout to get stuck with some bo’shit charges over eggin’ some mothafucka’s house. As if it ain’t enough he already lost a gotdamn soulja, y’all gotta chain my boy up ’cause he’s black. Shit’s Amistad all over again. Dayamn. TMZizzurp:

Justin Bieber will be charged with criminal vandalism Monday in connection with the egging case … sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ.
We do not know if Bieber will be charged with a misdemeanor or a felony. TMZ broke the story … the prosecutor who investigated the case told the victim, “If this isn’t a felony, nothing is.” The neighbor has estimates showing $20K in damages from the egging. The case was sent to the top honchos in the D.A.’s office for a final decision.

I feel like y’all forgettin’ a lil’ something my boy did just the other day: It’s called baptism, bitch. POW. Mothafuckin Jesus hisself already stepped in and was like, “Listen here, nigga. Dump yo’ face in that tub and we cool.” Full pardon, yo. Ain’t no judge gonna step to that. Plus my boy rich, and this is Hollywood. Holla-holla-holla, Illuminati. *drinks cup* Damn, that’s good baby blood.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. cc

    ‘We do not know if Bieber will be charged with a misdemeanor or a felony. ‘

    For which one is the penalty forcible sodomy?

  2. Never At Fault

    ‘We do not know if Bieber will be charged with a misdemeanor or a felony. ‘
    Right… loll They will slap him on the wrist like they always do.

  3. Justin Bieber Dick Grab Bandana Around Neck Stupid Hat Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep. It’s still in there somewhere.

  4. Justin Bieber Dick Grab Bandana Around Neck Stupid Hat Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Have some more Sizzurp you assclown.
    Like, lots of it.

  5. Ultimately nothing will happen with all of this, but it is fun watching him have to deal with all the shit in the meantime and spend a shit ton of his money on attorneys and settlements. His lawyers must just love this little asshole.

    • buzz

      Exactly. The DA just needs a little song and dance to do in front of the public to look like he is doing his job.

      Ultimately, not a damn thing is going to happen except JB’s bank account get a little smaller. No biggie for him. He probably spends more on hookers and booze on any given Friday night.

  6. Joe Blow

    Yay!!! A #BBare post and gangsta-speak.

  7. Why are the little shit’s handlers letting this thing go on? It’s $20 thousand of damage and he’s worth millions (God, it was hard writing that). Why doesn’t he write a check, say he’s sorry and get on with his worthless life?

    • JC

      I assume the handlers tried, but given that all his neighbors hate him, I’m betting they’re insisting on a court date just to fuck with him in the hopes that he’ll get the message and go away

      • Little Maple Turd

        And it worked too. He sold that house and moved far away,
        which was all any of his neighbors really wanted. I have
        a friend who has lived in that complex for 10 years, every
        single weekend Bieber drove them crazy. Not so much
        the music, he drove like he lived on a freeway onramp.

  8. “The Teflon Don With A Giant King Dong”

    How is this not every rappers’ name?

  9. Veronika Larsson

    Justin Bieber has a net worth of $160 million.

    $20,000 plus another $100,000 for lawyers? Spare change.

    It’ll go misdemeanour and his lawyers will plead for a probationary sentence. Bieber won’t spend a day in jail.

  10. Justin Bieber Dick Grab Bandana Around Neck Stupid Hat Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    How the fuck do you cause 20K in damages with eggs?

  11. They’re not going to do anything to him. Some slap on the wrist bullshit. Don’t get your hopes up.

  12. Cindi

    Who out there actually listens, much less buys, this assclown “music”?

  13. malaka

    ive said it before;
    the only way to take down a dooshnozle celebrity w impunity is w another dooshnozle celebrity.
    w a bit of luck, lilo could offer him a ride home and then go all tunsis the riving cat off the side of the pacific coast highway.

  14. JimBB

    ♪ So ronry

  15. Justin Bieber Dick Grab Bandana Around Neck Stupid Hat Coachella
    Mr. Fahrenheit
    Commented on this photo:

    You wanna know how to get Bieber? He pulls an egg, you pull a pancake. He sends one of yours to McDonalds, you send one of his to the Waffle House. That’s the Breakfast way! And that’s how you get Bieber. Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that? I’m offering you a deal. Do you want this deal?

  16. So interesting how Bieber started out as a cute kid. Now a lot of people hate him… or his style.

  17. eh

    “If this isn’t a felony, nothing is.” Really? Really? Fucking DAs.

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