All Hail The New Teflon Don of Pop, Y’All! #CantTouchThis #RuffRyda #RODNEYKING

January 28th, 2014 // 48 Comments

Last week, the Miami PD thought they could snatch up the realest real Numba One Stunna in the middle of working his Lambo game, but what them fools didn’t realize is that they tried to contain a mothafuckin’ deity inbused with the power of Michael all up in dat ass. Just straight up in there. (Yo, y’all sure ya wrote this right?) I’m talkin’ so deep, jiggas be needing GPS. (Fo’ real?)

That’s right, y’all. Just like Michael Jackson ducked all them charges by moonwalkin’ his way to a whole ‘notha level of justice thanks to the power of cash money, so shall B-Bare for intertwined are their destinies, yo. Because just like the law didn’t apply to Michael even though he was clearly touchin’ them kids, so shall B-Bare be free to satisfy his every cardinal pleas- (Wait, wait, wait, y’all saying B-Bare’s like a kiddy fucka? That’s what seriously happenin’ here? — He’s sayin’ it himself by Instogrammi’ that pic, so he cool widdit? Aight, I guess that makes sense.) So shall B-bare be free to satisfy his every cardinal pleasure for the righteousness of the Lord is on his side, and more importantly, the all-mighty DOLLA DOLLA BILLZ. Plus, I heard Usher‘s down there, so he’ll straighten this shit out. Dude’s got a magical way with keeds or sumpin.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. dirtdog

    This asshole should be banned from the internet.

  2. JC

    So God supports DUIs now? That must be in the same part of the Bible that tells Christ’s followers to be judgmental pricks–you know, the part that supercedes all that Commie “love they neighbor” shit.

  3. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    Commented on this photo:

    Season three of “The Vanilla Ice Project” was shooting nearby. Coincidence? I think not.

  4. I knew it was too good to last. Beiber in jail, Kelly Brook walking around in see through clothing and I almost got laid.

  5. So if I’m interpreting the image correctly, it’s the King of Pop and the Queen of Pop?

  6. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    IdDoThat
    Commented on this photo:

    “LOOK… If I can’t get THIS in there, it’s a no-go. K?! Sorry babe, no toe, no go!”

  7. Let's get honest

    Michael Jackson never touched any kids.

    Here’s a huge point that has never been proven wrong: All those movie star kids that Michael hung out with grew up and started trashing the living hell out of their own parents and etc who took advantage of them. Not a single one of them, including Corey “trash everyone” Feldman every said anything bad about Michael Jackson being a child molestor. Keep in mind that Michael Jackson hung out with a whole lot of famous kids. None of them said anything bad about him. It was only the people without fame or money who set Michael Jackson up.

    • Shawstank Redemption

      Hi, Tito. BTW, having deep pockets go both ways. MJ had plenty to shut motherfuckers up, no wonder he was nearly bankrupt leading up to his death.

      • God

        Their were plenty of celeb kids that grew up and hated Michael Jackson. For example Corey hated Michael for dissing him in New York. Allot of them did not like Michael Jackson but not a single one of them trashed them called him a child molester. NONE OF THIS REGISTERS IN YOUR TINY LITTLE BRAIN DOES IT.

        Some of those celeb kids were also bankrupt so what did he pay them, $6. Your point is flawed, sleazy and stupid just like you.

        Celebs are not scam artists trying to take advantage of Micheal Jackson. It’s because of d-bag morons like you POINTING THE FINGER AT HIM that drove him to sleep meds for anxiety. IT’S PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT MAKE ME SICK.

      • Shawstank Redemption

        God, you’re stupid. Judging from your writing skills, I’ll have to pass on engaging you any further. No fun arguing with a middle-schooler.

      • Your God

        Yeah, right, their were some typos because I have a life, you loser. You can’t prove any of my points wrong.

        Like the fact that those celebs trashed everyone but did not trash Mike and he paid them nothing because half of them were bankrupt.

        They just were not con artists, like the actual one’s who took him to court. You’re going to burn in hell my friend, for going around pointing the finger at innocent people like Michael Jackson. Others will burn in hell to, you know who you are out there.

        Oh, and stop making personal insults at me just because I met your wife at that bar last wk. Hey, everyone, Shawstank Redemption let his whore of a wife suck the cum out of my dick while he stood around and giggled. Shawstank Redemption also begged me to fuck him up the ass but I’m not gay.

      • Shawstank Redemption

        Even more errors than your last post…keep trying, junior. Oh, and my wife says that wasn’t cum coming out of your dick, it was pus. I would get that checked out if I were you. Just sayin…

      • Kneel Before God

        What?! Shut up you wanna be English Teacher.

        Your wife wouldn’t crave me so much if you weren’t a fat, short, balled guy with a small dick. lol You might as well as just commit suicide, if I had a dick as small as yours I would jump off a bridge. Just saying. :)

      • Shawstank Redemption

        Bro, it’s time to move out of meemaw’s basement already. I don’t want to hear about you shooting up the local Cracker Barrel because “the MJ haters are all going to hell”. I hope that payout you got from him after fondling your wee wee is enough to cover your meds in the meantime. Your obvious frustration and vitriol has been a joy to behold; thanks for the jack-off material. Buh-bye.

      • hey Person Arguing With Themself

        Take your meds, freak.

      • malaka

        the thing is, michael jackson is a tragic figure.
        its not like any of us can prove what he’s accused of.
        its not like any of us can disprove it either.
        its sounds entirely possible that he could have touched several children and then gotten away with it.
        you can get away with anything out there in california.
        from simple vandalism to child moslestation, and rape.
        or even murder.
        just ask roman polanski and o.j. simpson. or any of the millions of gang members who live in the beautiful state of california.
        they aint found the guy who killed biggie yet have they??
        or what about the real killer from the o.j. case?
        its the wild wild west out there.
        but i digress..
        regarding michael jackson, most people feel that despite all the horrible things that he may or may not have done, all of this is eclipsed by all of the wonderful things he did throughout his life.
        beyond his legacy as a musician and entertainer, he was probably one of the greatest philanthropists that has ever lived.
        who can say that the good washes away the bad.
        that guy was incredibly complicated and strange.
        but undeniably talented regardless of what anyone thinks.
        point is, why are we talking about michael? he’s dead.
        well yea.. i mean, he’s the king. he’s a legend. people will be talking about him, his music and his dancing for centuries.
        this story is about how stupid justin beiber is.
        and how we will not be talking about him all that much shortly after his death.

      • The Real God

        I get what you are trying to say bro. But, your ignoring a BIG point, that dozens and I mean dozens of famous kids hung out with MJ and not one of them, let me repeat that, not one of them has accused MJ of being a child molestor when they have accused other people. Like I already said, allot of them went bankrupt so he certainly didn’t pay them off. They didn’t trash MJ because he didn’t do anything wrong. They grew up in the upper part of Hollywood and they don’t know how to be scheming liars, like the shady people who actually accused him. AGAIN AND I’M PUTTING IT ALL IN CAPS, SEVERL DOZENS AND DOZENS OF CHILD CELEBS WHO TRASHED PEOPLE AND CALLED SEVERAL PEOPLE CHILD MOLESTORS DID NOT AND I REPEAT NOT CALL MJ THAT. Including Corey Feldman. That’s a huge thing to over look. And if anyone does over look it then they are as dumb as a blond playboy model. I’m not calling anyone names, I’m just saying that ignorant, and ignoring huge facts makes reveals those who are the morons.

        Sorry, bro, but use some common sense.

        To the other guy, umm, you are suchhhhhh a loser going on about spelling. lol No wonder your wife wants to suck my cock. :)

      • cmonreally

        “To the other guy, umm, you are suchhhhhh a loser going on about spelling. lol No wonder your wife wants to suck my cock. :)”

        Not sure if that was supposed to be me, but I don’t think being literate is grounds to call someone “loser.” You’re like those people who we were warned about in after school specials, the type that will try to put anyone down to validate your own useless waste of an existence, when all that you need is a hug because your father touches you inappropriately at night to the sounds of your alcoholic mother crying in their bedroom after he hit her in the face for burning dinner.

        Michael was a child molester who paid people off – many people. Ever hear of a NDA? That would probably be why some celebrity kids never came out to “trash” Michael.

        Also, it would be hard for my wife to want to suck your cock, since I am a straight female.

      • Jesus Christ

        Againnnnnn you’ve still not proven my point wrong about the celeb kids not trashing MJ since some of them were bankrupt and some of them indeed did not like MJ and trashed him but NONE of them, including the ones that hated him called him a child molestor. You need to go back to college and take some courses on logic and debate.

        Oh, it’s cool that you’re not a man. I’ll make you a deal, tonight when you are rubbing your pussy and shoving a giant fat dildo into your pussy, well, you can think about me. It’s ok, you have my permission. :)

      • cmonreally

        Sorry, I don’t find the mentally retarded attractive.

      • cmonreally

        Saying you have a life is by no means an excuse for poor English skills. There is no excuse for anyone who speaks English as their first language to massacre it like you did. To really make your argument have clout, you should at least proofread for errors, and understand basic grammar skills (their/there/they’re, for example).

      • Shawstank Redemption

        Thank you, well said. Unfortunately, basic critical thinking skills aren’t his forte either.

      • He seems angry. He must be the Old Testament God.

  8. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    Lord Helmet
    Commented on this photo:

    Dis how gay douchebag chicken go!

  9. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, so that’s who was playing football with Farah Abraham.

  10. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “THEEERMS EEEEEEERRRRP!”

  11. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    Lord Helmet
    Commented on this photo:

    I know there is a lame dick joke in there somewhere but apparently not even he can find it.

  12. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “OK, Justin, I’ve taken the training wheels off. You sure you’ll be fine?”
    “Yes, sir.”
    “Are you still scared?”
    “A wittew.”

  13. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Music video, or Pull-Ups comercial?

  14. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    Lord Helmet
    Commented on this photo:

    Honestly, how does he not see it?!

  15. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    Commented on this photo:

    Just love that nice black skirt he’s wearing . . .

  16. JohnnyP

    Faster Pussycat! Kill! KILL!

  17. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    Lord Helmet
    Commented on this photo:

    SELENAAAA!!!!

  18. Kim's Unborn Piglet

    It’s unfortunate he doesn’t think he’s the next Paul Walker…..post tree.

  19. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the Bulls cap? I think the lil shit was a Heat fan… well, at least before his incarceration in Miami.

    LOL…

  20. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I honestly think that whoever dresses him for concerts and videos detests him and goes to great lengths to make him look as ridiculous as possible. I know I would.

  21. AnnaD.

    Funniest set of pictures ever.

  22. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    Commented on this photo:

    This was the last photo taken of Bieber before he hit the single strand of neck high barbed wire stretched between two palm trees.

  23. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretty fugly without the Chola makeup.

  24. Too Late

    Bieb, she’s not a girlfriend when she charges Two Grand a night.
    More like Call Girl, Escort, Hooker, Gold Digger Rap Groupie.

  25. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yo girl! you want watch me pee in a janitor’s bucket?”
    “Do I!…You’re so street baby!”

  26. Justin Bieber Rumored New Girlfriend Chantel Jeffries ATV Music Video Shoot Panama
    Commented on this photo:

    “So then I say ‘Yo Girl! holla at yo boy! I gots ta know dat ass a little betta!’…Ya know what I’m sayin’?”
    “No I don’t! Do you guys know what this pale Canadian bitch is saying?!”

  27. Primitivefix06

    If behind that fence is a playground full of children, then yes, just like Michael Jackson.

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