All Hail The New Teflon Don of Pop, Y’All! #CantTouchThis #RuffRyda #RODNEYKING

Last week, the Miami PD thought they could snatch up the realest real Numba One Stunna in the middle of working his Lambo game, but what them fools didn’t realize is that they tried to contain a mothafuckin’ deity inbused with the power of Michael all up in dat ass. Just straight up in there. (Yo, y’all sure ya wrote this right?) I’m talkin’ so deep, jiggas be needing GPS. (Fo’ real?)

That’s right, y’all. Just like Michael Jackson ducked all them charges by moonwalkin’ his way to a whole ‘notha level of justice thanks to the power of cash money, so shall B-Bare for intertwined are their destinies, yo. Because just like the law didn’t apply to Michael even though he was clearly touchin’ them kids, so shall B-Bare be free to satisfy his every cardinal pleas- (Wait, wait, wait, y’all saying B-Bare’s like a kiddy fucka? That’s what seriously happenin’ here? — He’s sayin’ it himself by Instogrammi’ that pic, so he cool widdit? Aight, I guess that makes sense.) So shall B-bare be free to satisfy his every cardinal pleasure for the righteousness of the Lord is on his side, and more importantly, the all-mighty DOLLA DOLLA BILLZ. Plus, I heard Usher’s down there, so he’ll straighten this shit out. Dude’s got a magical way with keeds or sumpin.

Photos: Splash News